crosscaravan - I'm starting a word document with your posts, that's how much I like what you have to say. Wow. You really nail it, a lot of the time. Are you in my chapter?
I totally agree with everything that everyone else has posted in this thread. +1 to everyone.
OP, it's like Abraham Lincoln said: most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.
Last night I went to see Happy:The Movie. I highly recommend it to you and to everyone else, for that matter. It confirmed what I already suspected; I'm just prewired for happiness (I have a great happiness set point, got lucky, doesn't take a lot for me to feel happy!). Only about 10% of extrinsic factors account for happiness. The other 90% is all intrinsic.
So, go ahead and focus on the 10% and be miserable. Or not. It's totally up to you. Totally. You're not being held hostage in that sorority. You really aren't.