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Originally Posted by AnotherKD
Okay, I got one. I just learned this yesterday afternoon while randomly going through Facebook. Now, I will preface this by saying that I know Facebook is kinda stupid, but my SIL has apparently de-friended me within the past month or so.
What pisses me off is that she is an adult. She was in my wedding (more as a favor to my husband and his brother than anything). Whenever we DO see each other (always in their hometown, because GOD FORBID she and her husband drive the 2 hours to come see us, which they have never done), we hang out a bit while my husband and his brother hang out. She has my husband's parents wrapped around her little finger because she is a high-school dropout who refuses to get a job even though they always struggle with finances (allowing her to spend all of her time at my in-laws' house) that has given them their only grandchild and lives 3 miles away from them, and so she is over all of the time and is basically BFFs with my husband's mother. They can talk shit about me, I don't care.
I don't need to be her friend, that's fine. But what I do expect is for her to be a fucking ADULT and at least tell me why she is angered or offended by me. After all, it's not like we can just completely cut off contact. Of course I will see her at some point. My husband refuses to say anything to his brother, because he never takes my side in anything dealing with his family (and since she has been married ever since she was SIXTEEN to my BIL, she has been his "family" for about 10 years). I really want to send her a message, but I'm afraid that anything I say will just fan the flames. Any advice????
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Since I have such a wonderful mil, would it surprise you that I also have a fabulous sil as well? Trust me, you do not want to know what convoluted reasoning she has for her behavior. It won't change.
We didn't go into their house for 28 years. We didn't go in because she didn't let Jews into her home. Is that reasoning or hatred or jealousy? Pick one, move on. We officially cut the ties btw. Recently, against her will we have had to see her The best part for you? (and me) She makes her point by hiding in the wine cellar (freezing cold) or leaving the minute we enter the door. (My mil lives with them so we take her out.)
My favorite? Asking my bil about him and he'll talk for an hour. She sat in her car in 100 degree heat so as not to talk to us. And she was in the wine cellar for 45 minutes...almost turned blue. Yes, passive/aggressive...but gosh, it works. Be appropriate, be the lady you are and know that you will infuriate her more by refusing to engage.