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I believe in maximizing options to a point but I loathe forcing women to go to prefs they don't want to attend and then penalizing them if they don't list them. By the time a PNM gets to prefs, she should have a feel for a group or not (I think I started a thread on forced prefs a few years back).
Forced prefs can also hurt sororities; they can have full pref parties because of that and then end up with few to no new members. I can't imagine the shock of a recruitment chair who had full pref parties and then receives an empty new member list.
Each girl knows how far she can "stretch". If she gets her second or third choice and thinks maybe it's do-able even though her heart is broken, she could try it. If she gets a bid that's a no-way, like in the thread we had on bids that people sometimes get from a sorority they haven't seen in 3 rounds, the no one should be dumping on her for turning it down.
PNMs: try to be open but you know where your limits are.
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