[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by GreekGirley

It sounds like you're thinking long-term with this guy, and that's fine. But, won't getting married be a little anti-climactic if you've already basically lived like you're already married? What I'm getting at is this: you have the REST OF YOUR LIFE to get married & play house. Don't do it now. Save it as a bridge you'll cross once you get married. Otherwise, there's nothing left to make marriage special.

REALLY?! There’s nothing left to make marriage special? Um.. how about a wedding, and kids, and buying your first house, and spending your life with someone, and.. ya know.. being married! If the only thing about marriage that makes it special is living together, I might as well have married my brother.

And, if the worst happens and y'all don't wind up making it last, then you've already done everything with him that you'll do with whoever you marry one day.

.. everything except having a wedding, having kids, buying your first house, spending your life with that person, and.. ya know.. getting married.

Originally Posted by ElieM

wow... I'm totally of the "sure, why not? live together" school of thought. I even think while at college sounds like a great time to do it. Exploration and getting to know yourself and all that malarkey.

Originally Posted by ElieM

…Plus, I'd want to know if the love of my life had a really irritating habit or terrible secret lifestyle before leaping in and tying the knot.

This!

It’s amazing what you can learn about a person when you live with them. I look at a few of my college roommates and think, “If I didn’t live with them, we might have become really good friends.” It’s why a lot of people (myself included) refuse to live with their best friends; because they worry that they’ll end up hating them. I’m definitely not against living with another person before marriage in order to figure everything out. Hell, I didn’t even live with my last boyfriend of 2 ½ years, but he lived 30 seconds down the road from my apartment and he started driving me crazy – he’d bitch about everything, from the cleanliness of my apartment (I HATE washing dishes and waited until the last possible second to do them) right down to the fact that I didn’t bring the mail in everyday. I have just about the worst memory in the world, but I didn’t think that bringing it in twice a week was such a bad thing! He didn’t even pay rent, but he had something to say about everything. And since he still lived at home and mommy did everything for him, I think he expected me to do everything for him, as well.

Having said all that, I completely agree with the advice my mother gave me… before getting married/living with someone which will most likely lead to marriage, you should live on your own for at least a year. There are a lot of responsibilities that go along with just taking care of yourself and being on your own… Learning how to pay bills, taking your own car in for an oil change, figuring out how to do your taxes, going grocery shopping, sending your own holiday/thank you/sympathy cards, shoveling the driveway, cleaning the apartment/house, etc. I could go on forever. All of these are items that you should learn to do on your own.. and HAVE to do on your own, before living with someone and relying on them to do it for you.

I think I missed the fact that the OP is a sophomore, so yes, she is still pretty young. I’m not sure that she’s lived on her own before this, but if not, I would highly recommend it. I’m not completely against people living together at such a young age, but I’ve seen it fall apart more times than it has worked. However, we don’t know the OP’s situation, and she implied that the only reason that she was hesitant was because of what her friends say/think, so if that’s the only doubt in her mind (without knowing anything else of her situation), I say she should truly analyze her past living situations, think about the current situation, and make a decision from there. And if this is what both her and her boyfriend want, then go for it.

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

GreekGirley's "anti-climactic" comment makes me think she's confusing marriage with a wedding.

I think she’s just confused in general.

Originally Posted by AGDee

I believe I've said this before on this board, but had I lived with either of my ex-husbands before marrying them, I wouldn't have divorced either of them... because I wouldn't have married them in the first place! I'm a big proponent of living together before marriage BUT under certain conditions: you can support yourself without that person, it is an arrangement that you can get out of easily (like only one of you owns the place or has the name on the lease or it's a month to month lease) and you are done with college and lived independently for at least a year. There is just too much messiness possible in college if you break up and are living with the person. Week before finals, you break up, which is hard enough, but you're stuck living in the same space anyway, etc.

EXACTLY! to the bolded.