Quote:
Originally Posted by tld221
Maybe this is lane swerving, but I would feel some kinda way if a new member had to force herself to participate in a ritual, and that would be her litmus test of seeing if this was for her. We (greeks) put a lot of energy into ceremonies like this, and for someone to be lukewarm about it would be a blow to the ego on behalf of my chapter.
I dont think "not being a social butterfly" cuts it here. When you join something bigger, you have to start checking yourself at the door for the bigger whole. It sounds like a whole lot of "I" in her team.
I just wonder why there's even an option of OP going or not. Maybe that's considered hazing, to make a PNM participate in ritual?
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I suspect that the "pledge mom" phrased it as a question not to really give it an option but to sound nice. Requiring NMs to attend pledging (generally something actives have to attend too) isn't hazing.
We talk a lot about new members not being sure, not being 100% comfortable, not really clicking with the sorority and it's entirely possible that she's one of those rather than someone who doesn't want to bother with the time. That's why it seems a bit premature to say "GTFO" without her actually talking to someone she knows and trusts about this - rather than the internet. If she's in that boat at initiation she shouldn't go through with it, but right now she could. As for ego, it's like getting the NMs who don't necessarily want to be there, hopefully the "pledge mom" or "NM educator" or whatever is mature enough to handle whatever fears, concerns or problems a PNM has without the ego getting in the way.
And I was talking more about social anxiety than not being a social butterfly. Example: If my friend has a party I'll probably say "sure I'll be there" and then spend EVERY day leading up to it trying to think of ways to get out of it besides "sorry, can't make it." Up to and including "I'm not feeling well, hope you guys have fun while I'm stuck by the bathroom." Not because I don't like my friend, but because the looming thought of a social event can weight HEAVILY on someone who isn't necessarily comfortable in a situation. The times I've forced myself to go, I've generally had fun, even if only on another friend's behalf. Her "REALLY DO NOT WANT TO GO" feelings rang that bell for me. And this sounds like, previous year or not, this is her first experience in a larger school with this sort of obligation. She does need to learn to check the I for the team, but I'm not surprised that she might not be there yet.
In absence of more detail, I rather hope she picks it up and gives it a shot rather than quitting for vague reasons. (For all we know some idiot told her a goat was involved in some disgusting pledge ritual, we don't know.)