[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

You can CHOOSE to be a stay-at-home parent/housewife/househusband but you don't NEED to be one due to dependency. In general, I don't believe in having to say "I wish I had" or "I wish I/we could." That's also why threads like "what do you WISH you did for a living" are very interesting to me but particularly if people had to put their dreams on hold for relationship or family. My family, friends, and I believe in accomplishing your goals and dreams before getting married and continuing to accomplish. If not, you could end up pissed as hell and resentful.

I tend to agree with this.

Back when I was dating a military guy, I hung out with a few of the other guy's girlfriends. They were all married by 22/23 (some of them had been married since HS graduation). They got married early and had kids early. Since their military spouse was making all the money (not a whole lot though), they were mostly Stay At Home Moms who work part-time at Target/CVS/etc. to help hubby pay bills. Not all of them were happy/ok with that, either.

Sometimes, when we talked, they'd open up a little about their lives. One of the main things they said was "You're so lucky that you're going to college and probably going to grad school. If I had it to do all over again, I would have waited to get married and pursued my dreams. Now I have to wait for my kids to get older."

I always thought it was bizarre that one would have all these dreams and pitch them so early in life for a guy (especially when some of them had only been dating the guy for like a year tops). Then turn around and complain about it.

You may as well do what you want/need to do/accomplish before marriage, then you won't have to worry about it. For some, that's graduating from college, others want to to finish Med school, etc. Whatever it is for you.