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I didn't say that her putting this on a message board was the right thing, fyi.
If your parents paid for it, and weren't as intrusive as you believe her to be, fine, great for you.
The fact of the matter is, since it's her money (if she is in fact paying), if she doesn't like what's going on, she can stop paying in 2 seconds.
Obviously she doesn't want her daughter to be upset, and right now it appears to her that the sorority is upsetting her. We don't know the story and she probably doesn't either.
IMO, the daughter needs to come to a decision herself and tell mom what she wants to do. However, if the mom is paying and decides to stop, the daughter really has no say.
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