Quote:
Originally Posted by lala2005
I don't really know honestly. They're free, and I guess they just aren't interested. Most of my sisters in my sorority are the partying type so that's one thing they enjoy doing and I know that I should go to the parties with them, but I feel uncomfortable going because I have a boyfriend and I would feel really bad going without him, I just don't think it's respectful. Haha sorry if you don't understand that and think it's weird. And I've talked to my sisters about it and they understand, and I do spend time with the two girls who agree and have the same situation...
But back to my first point. A sister and I organized an ice skating sisterhood, it was about 7 or 8 dollars, and only 2 girls went. I guess most of the girls had something else to do, since it was a Saturday (it was after a recruitment workshop). And we can't have one during the week since a lot of girls have late night classes!
Sadly we don't have a chapter house or even suites at my school so I can't stop by in between classes.
But I'm gonna try and "not" be shy anymore! I really am. Retreat is this Friday so I'm excited for that.
And yeah the only thing I'd really gain from dropping out is being able to save my money and more time with my best friends. I have 4 and I've grown very distant from them since my sorority takes up a lot of time! And just time in general.
My gut is telling me not to quit though, so I guess that's a sign!  |
First, take this with a grain of salt since it's based on personal experience, but please think it over.
I've been in relationships where I have felt guilty if I did not bring my boyfriend with me to parties, or if I went without him. Every single one of these relationships ended, and badly. Now, I realize that's my own experience but please understand that aside from any one issue that caused the break ups, all of these relationships deteriorated more quickly and less amicably than subsequent ones because after a while, we were devoting all of our time to each other, and that's not healthy. Especially at this age. Arguements became impossible to reconcile because we were not able to blow off steam and have time apart to calm down. Two of these boyfriends became increasingly possessive to the point that there was abuse (and I am not telling you that I think your boyfriend is controlling or abusive). I am very careful now to maintain healthy relationships by having as much time with my friends as I do with my SO. I'm 24 and not ready to settle down, and I understand that about myself and act accordingly.
If you really want to build stronger relationships with your chapter, you need to have a talk with your boyfriend. You need to be able to have the experiences with your sisters that will help you grow. You don't have to drink or flirt. He needs to trust you enough to know you can handle the party without hurting your relationship. (And by the same token he needs to be afforded the same consideration.)
Was the sisterhood advertised? Were some girls worried about money? Was everyone exhausted after the workshop? Don't let one let down convince you that next time won't be better. The next time you organize an event advertise heavily ahead of time and if cost is an issue, consider something like a pot luck with movies. Have a sign up list and everyone can bring what they can afford.
It's common to grow apart during college, just let your friends know you're busy but that doesn't mean you don't care. When you have a free afternoon on Saturday, ask them to come over to your apartment/dorm and hang out, or organize a girls' night out with just them.