Quote:
Originally Posted by deepimpact2
srmom, it is apparent to me that our parents had COMPLETELY different notions about what it truly means to handle the situation.
But in reference to suggestions of pulling the child out of the school, I am really amazed that someone would suggest such a thing. There is no way in hell my parents would have pulled me out of a school because the OTHER kids didn't know how to behave. Perish the thought.
Going to school officials and whining about bullies is inadequate. perhaps it is no surprise that their kids are being bullied. Those types of parents clearly aren't aggressive enough to stand up for themselves.
The sad thing is that bullies come in all ages. Even here in law school there are bullies. A recent incident in my Con Law class involved voting on whether the entire class would take a B mean. That would mean that everyone in the class would get a "B." No more, no less. I was one of three who voted against it. I'm very small so naturally I had some of my classmates trying to bully me into changing my vote. I shut that down with a quickness. And I haven't had any problems with them since.
The reality is that even when someone is small, they can't make assumptions that the bigger person is willing to back up their words with actions. You will often find that bullies operate in packs because deep down they are huge cowards.
As for fighting in schools, I have to be honest. While I don't condone that generally, if a child is being picked on, and the school officials know but won't do anything, I think that gives the kid the privilege to kick the bully's behind. Sometimes a good old-fashion a#$-whooping can solve quite a few problems. My mother told me about how there were three big girls who were picking on her at school. One day she had enough, and even though she was tiny, she kicked their butts. They left her alone.
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GOOD parents, in my opinion, will do whatever they have the means to do to protect their child. This doesn't mean teaching them to "fight back". I think it's a good idea for a kid to attempt to "stand up" by finding ways to respond without showing weakness. Bullies often get bored when their target doesn't react to their bad behavior. But not all bullies are picking on their peers for kicks. Some are motivated by jealously, anger, percieved revenge, etc. I doubt many parents would move to a different school due to minor bullying, and certainly it's a smart move to first talk to their kid, then the school, and if that doesn't work, keep going to the parents of the bullies and possibly the actual bully. But in my opinion a good parent would absolutely move if they've gone down all these routes with no result (if they're able...not every family has that option). There's a difference between the typical harassment many underdogs experience in junior high/middle school and the type of bullying the girls in this article were doing. "Fighting back" almost always backfires.