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^^Yeah, I could see someone in that situation making excuses so they don't have to write the rec and expose themselves as a perp.
I think the best way to go about it would be to confront her in a positive way like "Oh, D, Mrs. Smith told me you became a DEF, did you initiate after Snookie joined?" Of course she could lie about that too, but its a better way to approach it than "Listen ho, stop playin'!"
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"Delta Chi is not a weekend or once-a-year affair but a lifelong opportunity and privilege"
- Albert Sullard Barnes
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