Quote:
Originally Posted by JuliaNJ
Hey everyone. This is kind of getting out of hand.
I came on here because I express myself better when I write. It helps me thing. And by posting (relatively) anonymously on a message board to people I don't know who might know a little bit about what I might be going through, I thought that maybe it could lead to some good feedback.
It certainly has. I just want to go over some things real quick that are on my mind:
1) When I said I'm "putting my tastes aside" I mean that I'm not worrying about whether or not people will think I'm cool for not listening to Animal Collective. Because that's a rut I've been in that I want to climb out of.
2) I decided to add some things to my wardrobe and to wear them out. I wore them out the first night I went out with the girls from AST. I'm not throwing away my Ramones shirt or anything like that. But I'm not wearing those things like a badge of honor, either. That's another rut that I'm trying to get out of.
3) I'm really not as crazy as you all probably think. I'm really not depressed or have any other real issues. I'm just a little tired of the same old in my life and want to see what else is out there. I think we all, whether we care to admit or not, do put on a mask at some point to identify ourselves as part of a larger group. I'm trying to take mine off for a little bit. I've been too wrapped up in looking cool and worrying about whether or not the bands I liked were trendy enough. I'm trying to get passed that and by finding people who don't care about that stuff I think will help me evolve past that.
4) I really don't think that "all sorority girls are the same." Especially not after this week. Last night, I hung out with someone who wants to be a history teacher. Another girl wants to work in speech therapy. Another is an accounting major. All from different areas, really nice, etc.
4) But just because I'm getting past that doesn't mean that I'm stopping what I was into. I just got back from seeing Dinosaur Jr.
5) I'm glad a few of you used your detective skills to find out where I went to school. But posting photos of people to mock them isn't cool, I don't think. What does that person have to do with anything, other than the fact that she went to the same school that I do? I'm sure you wouldn't like it if people posted your picture on a message board without you knowing about it.
Thanks for everyone who has really tried helping me out here. This time last week, I was pretty down in the dumps. But I haven't been this excited or happy in a while. I'm starting to see the world a little bit differently and myself as well.
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Everyone has given some great advice and it looks like you are trying to "get over yourself" as I was about to suggest. This was a long time ago, but in high school I was an intellectual snob, art snob, music snob, etc. I was better than you because I didn't listen to WSP, DMB, Phish, etc., didn't own 7 jeans, and didn't wear Chacos (all stereotypically "popular" at my high school). I made fun of "popular" kids because I thought they'd make fun of me, so I went on the defense. I am getting some of that from you. In college I decided to "get over myself" and discovered that I enjoyed some of those bands, really enjoyed dressing up occasionally, and even bought the damn Chacos which I now live in. Because the only real reason I steered clear of any of that was because I was 2 kool 4 scool. You might never like DMB, but you're still so very focused on your music and clothing choices as well as the music and clothing choices of others that you won't be able to focus on new friends and activities, even though you say you want to. I joined a sorority freshman year and found out that, like I said, I enjoyed some of the things I made fun of. I also found out that I still liked parts of my old wardrobe and music and remained an art kid (art major). Which means four years later I'm a lot more well rounded than I would ever have been had I not gotten over the notion that my music choices made me "different" and therefore superior. You're as unique as a snowflake-just like everyone else.
All that said your article on a small campus might be a problem. Making friends with sorority members and eventually bringing it up and letting them know you have changed your mind now that you've gotten to know some of them (if that's the case...don't lie if it's not, but don't join a sorority either unless you're truly able to drop the attitude) might help. They're probably just as offended by your assumptions and stereotypes about them as you are about theirs towards you and your friends. And no one likes a hypocrite.