[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by CALiMom

I have a question about how bidding really works. My daughter is at a VERY competitive school and she was a legacy to Sorority A.
All through rush, she was invited back to her favorite houses, the maximum number possible, every day. After pref night she called and said that she would be happy at either Sorority A or Sorority B but that she had put Sorority B first on her card. Although I am a member of Sorority A, I encouraged her to follow her heart... no pressure from me... but of course I was a little disappointed...
Then, to her shock, she got a bid from Sorority A. Unfortunately ALL of her friends went to Sorority B so she was extremely hurt and disappointed and unhappy with being at Sorority A (I'm not saying this was a reasonable reaction... just that it happened.) She actually considered withdrawing from her pledge class and waiting until next year to rush again so that she could be Sorority B with her friends. I STRONGLY discouraged this. But SEVERAL older girls from Sorority B told her that they all had wanted her and if she had "suicided" Sorority B, she would have been Sorority B, instead of Sorority A... that she was IN Sorority A because she was a legacy and so was at the top of their list. Could that be true? Could that have really happened? or are they just trying to make excuses for having put her at the bottom of their list?

This is hard to say because the membership selection process of every sorority is private. I don't know how other sororities decide who goes on which list. I will say that this type of discussion shouldn't be going with your daughter (concerning reasons why she may not have gotten a bid to their sorority). True or not, sorority members should know better than to talk about selection (be it true or excuses) with a PNM.

I would tell her to take it with a grain of salt though, because it could be true, or they could be just making excuses. No one here can tell you that. At the end of the day, she's in Sorority A, and hearing this kind of stuff from members of Sorority B doesn't change anything.