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Originally Posted by luvgoldens24
This is one of those posts where the mom is sad that her daughter didn't get into the house she had always aspired to belong to. We had an exhausting weekend! Although we had done lots of research over the past year, I didn't realize that I could have solicited recommendation letters from alumni we are acquainted with. My daughter had hoped that the fact that she was a Brownlee would have helped, and we thought it was really cool that they had our family crest as their own. In fact we took it as sign that that's where she belonged.
She was picked to continue with them until when she arrived Sunday. She called me devastated that she wasn't invited back, but went ahead with an open mind to visit the two houses that had invited her back. She politely declined an offer from one house, but went back last night and received a bid from the other. She really has been trying to have an open mind, but she says she has little in common with this group of young ladies, and her heart is just not into it. She hasn't met anyone there she can relate to, and is wondering why they even would pick her.
My question is this: Should she keep trying to find some common ground with this group, or should she wait until next year and re-bid? And if you were rejected once, are the odds against you for a successful bid the second time? She is feeling so discouraged with the whole process.
My daughter is extremely social, was a cheerleader for four years in high school, also played in the marching band for two years, & had a 3.8 gpa in high school. She's very cute and gets along well with almost anyone.
Anyone have any ideas what she can do to help her chances next time? Or would she always feel that since they didn't choose her the first time, she didn't really belong? She has dealt with rejection before, so this is not the big issue. It's more a matter of she really liked these girls and felt like she fit in, what went wrong? Thanks for any advice, mom
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Hi there. Sorry you daughter did not get the bid to her ideal sorority.
I would strongly recommend that she stick with the house she pledged. Many girls feel so-so about the houses they pledge for a few days or even weeks. But often by initiation they are feeling great about the chapter and couldn't see themselves anywhere else!
I don't know the specifics of ASU, but oftentimes it is difficult to get a bid as a sophomore. It's also nice to have impressive statistics like your daughter does, but that doesn't mean much in formal recruitment. Many of the girls will have the same or similar lines on their resumes.
The one thing that might have been a problem is the recommendations. At some schools those are very, very important to have. However I do NOT recommend thinking that going through next year with recommendations will solve the situation to your satisfaction. There are many other reasons why a PNM can be released. None of us can really answer why your daughter was released. To respond to your question of "It's more a matter of she really liked these girls and felt like she fit in, what went wrong?," the most likely reason is that Pi Phi did not feel a similar fit.
I'm sorry for your daughter's hurt and I truly hope that she grows to love the chapter she has pledged. I think that is way more likely to happen than you realize.
