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phimuladee, how sad. i am so sorry that your big isn't into being a big. definately one reason not to force people to be a big if they don't want to be-and that's what this sounds like.
is there some older girl that you do feel close to? close enough that you could talk to her and maybe unofficially adopt her as your big?
no matter what, i imagine that you will be an awesome big this fall when you get a little. maybe you and your future little will have the bond you are missing. good luck!
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