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I had an employee that definitely out-earned her husband by a long shot (even though he had an MBA and good job in his own right). He opted to stay home with their kids and has done an amazing job with them. I'm sure there's some level of self-consciousness he has in some situations (their holiday newsletters talk about her promotions and the company going public, his volunteer work and participation in the PTA), and she expresses some guilt and feels some loss about not being the one with the kids all day and seeing all the "firsts" and getting all the hugs and kisses. But they also like their really big house and lifestyle and her career is the one who can fund that.
I know people who get red in the face arguing on both sides of this issue and it just wears me out. It will always be an issue. People's economic circumstances will always come in to play. People's values will always come in to play. I have friends who will flat out tell you that even if they could, they wouldn't choose to stay at home because they just "couldn't take it". And if that's the case, the kids probably are better off in another care situation. Other friends can't imagine someone else hugging their kids, seeing their "firsts", etc., and can't imagine those who do miss all that.
And unfortunately, I believe never the twain shall meet.
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