Quote:
Originally Posted by AOII Angel
In what way does "XYZ doesn't know what they're missing" give PNMs false hope? Do PNMs somehow think that GC members will get a vote at recruitment? I think it is completely reasonable to tell a PNM (even if you've only met her online) that she would make a great member even if the blind girls at her school don't see it. It's a personal opinion that I'm sure a PNM won't confuse with the thoughts of another sorority at another campus. There are some people who need pep talks along the way. I'm not one of them, but my bio sister called home crying after signing her bid card. While I thought she was silly, who am I to tell her that her feelings are not valid. One positive word can make the difference to a hurting girl who isn't sure what to do. If Soliloquy wants to give it another try, more power to her. She WOULD make a great asset. That does not mean she will actually get a bid, but she definitely never would if she didn't try.
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The problem is...you may know her personality, what she's done and other stuff about her, but you DO NOT KNOW that she will "make a great asset". You don't know little stuff - some people sound GREAT on paper or online, but in real life they're incredibly annoying and self-centered. [Not that she necessarily is...but YOU DON'T KNOW THAT.] Someone who has a high GPA and many activities and positions on her resume does NOT a good member make. And THAT is the key.
And, the problem with telling them that they'll make a great asset to a sorority is that for girls who will NEVER fit into the greek system, it only encourages them to keep trying and keep trying and keep trying...and keep failing. I don't know if you've ever read the "Weird Rush" stories, but there are definitely some about girls who keep going through and going through and going through and NEVER getting bids, because even though they think they're perfect for it and Mommy and those nice girls on the internet tell them that they're great assets and should do it again and again, they don't realize that maybe Greek life isn't for them. Maybe if someone had sat down that girl and said, "You need to seriously reconsider never rushing again, because Greek life is NOT for everyone", then they wouldn't get that heartbreak over and over again.
If Soliloquy gets cut from all 4 sororities again, are you STILL going to say that she would make a great asset? What if she rushes again and gets cut completely again? Unless you're prepared to tell her that all those horrible chapter sisters at her school are so bad and wrong for cutting her not matter HOW many times she rushes, [since that's basically what you're saying, that you don't trust their judgment] then you should not say it in the first place.
And in case that last part was unclear, any girl who rushes multiple times and does not get a bid is probably not a good fit for Greek life. I trust my sisters to make decisions, and I would NEVER head over to any other chapter and tell them, "You made a HUGE mistake cutting this girl!" especially if I didn't know her in person or before recruitment. We simply need to trust their judgment.
To the OP: Please don't take what I said above as an attack on you, because it isn't. There ARE women who fall through the cracks, and if you're one of them, then you should be fine when you re-rush. This is less about you than it is about people making misleading promises. Even if you don't take them like that, others will. Good luck with recruitment, and let us know how it goes.