[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by fantASTic

Obviously. But it seemed like the general consensus was that living together causes divorces, which is NOT necessarily true. Hence, the link, to show that just because two things are linked together does not make it a cause and effect.

No, actually that IS NOT the consensus. Try actually reading it next time.

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

I'm sure you realize this, but I have a feeling that the statistics have less to do with the actual act of moving in together, and more to do with the values, expectations, and attitudes of those who move in together.

Originally Posted by KSig RC

There are myriad problems with these studies, mostly because the correlation is about as far from the causation as you can get - and ironically, everything I've read is about the opposite of Drole's point, in that those who don't live together are also those philosophically opposed to divorce, or determined to "fight through" when others might feel a split is the best option.

However, I think Drole is exactly right in the YMMV portion - really, most opinions here are based on anecdotes, single personal experiences or remembering really good/bad things that happened to one or two people (selection bias). I don't think either solution is better than the other in general, and unfortunately I'm not sure there is a good way to tell which camp you'll be in until far after the point where you make a decision.

Personally, I think I would prefer to live with someone - I would doubt that it would occlude my desire to marry that individual because we're "practically married" and I feel like any smart scientist would prefer a test run. I'd like to know that person can handle space issues without resorting to an entirely different building, and I would prefer to get any money issues sorted out while the accounts are still split (or kids are involved), among other things. I also can't think of one good reason why couples that live together first would divorce any more than those who do not other than personal issues, at least not at the rate studies suggest - however, the studies are there, and I can completely understand why others would not, and I could also see myself adding to the statistic should things go wrong.

Originally Posted by MysticCat

Without question. I haven't seen a study that really examines "why" -- just that the bald statistic is that marriages where the couple lived together prior to marriage or more likely to end in divorce than those where the couple did not live together. Personally, I have a suspicion that KSig is right:


As to this:

the one other hypothesis I have heard is that couples who live together before marriage may carry over from the cohabitation into the marriage a feeling of "well, one of us can just move out if it gets to that." Granted, that may be very close if not connected to the personal issues you mention.