Quote:
Originally Posted by PeppyGPhiB
I think you both got what I mean. I'm not suggesting you make no effort to keep the place tidy, I'm just saying that if you are afraid to have your serious boyfriend over because the place isn't tidy, yes, I think there's a problem there (assuming the place isn't scary). Some of you may have time to stay at home and clean a lot, and if you plan on being a stay-at-home wife/mom, maybe you won't ever have to have a messy house, but a significant other should be able to see your messy apartment every once in a while without judging you for it. Realistically, my place is probably never going to be spic-n-span every day, so I'd rather he see that when we're dating than hide it until we're married.
My place is always clean, but I have days where I don't have time to pick my shoes up off the floor or to fold the laundry. And I just can't imagine freaking out about that to the point where I'd tell my boyfriend he can't come over or shoving it all in a closet. That just wouldn't be me, and frankly, my boyfriend comes over so much that it's not exactly a special occasion the way it is when my married friends and family come over. He's the same way with his place.
|
Yeah I get what you're saying now, and I think we agree. When I first read it, I thought you were essentially saying that by making an effort not to be sloppy, it indicated "obvious problems" with the relationship. My thinking was that, in the same way I want to always make an attempt to look my best, I want my place to always look its best. Of course I'm not going to freak out if my boyfriend sees me in sweatpants or my apartment isn't always clean, but if schedules/health/etc. permit, I'll always make an effort.
This thread has been really interesting to read so far and it has given me a lot to think about. In a very extreme example of this topic...one of my best friends just announced two days ago that she is
buying a house with her boyfriend, whom she just met in
May.
It's honestly hard for me to be happy for her because I can't stop thinking about the likely mess she's getting herself into.