[SOPi_Jawbreaker]

Originally Posted by KSig RC

This is pretty solid, but it could be even more asinine and everyday, like:

This women nowadays, I tell ya - all they want to do is have sex, enjoy themselves, and vote. Notice how I used the Oxford comma there. Not me, though - I just want a women to settle down, cook pies and shut the fuck up. Notice I did NOT use the Oxford comma there. None of these new-age voting whores for me - hell no. Sexual promiscuity is a scourge upon my 1950s ideals - write it in the sky in gossamer tears: I WILL NOT DATE A WOMAN UNLESS SHE BLEEDS ON MY WEDDING NIGHT, A LA THE DARK AGES. I have not read "Chronicle of a Death Foretold" by Marquez, but if I had, I assure you I would understand the irony.

Whew, I blacked out there - sorry, I got a little out of control.

And yours could have been better with the addition of:

I need a woman who takes care of her feet and legs. She needs to be going in for a pedicure every week. I can't stand a girl with nasty-looking toes. And she's got to lotion up those legs. Nothing worse than a girl with ashy legs.