Quote:
Originally Posted by 33girl
I would tell her NOT to listen to what the girls from the sorority who "loved her" are saying. They shouldn't be talking to girls who are still in the rush process!!
Other than that, we weren't in member selection for those groups, so we really can't tell you why your daughter was cut.
|
To be perfectly blunt, I've heard more than a few sorority women say that "Ohh we loved you, we wondered why you weren't back to our next party!" line to disappointed PNMs when they felt "put on the spot" or to make the PNM feel better without really thinking about the ramifications of saying that.
Most of the time, it wasn't true. It wasn't that the sorority
disliked the PNM, usually, but I've found that they never had any intention of inviting her back for whatever reason and they just didn't know what to say. It was their poor attempt to avoid an awkward situation or to spare her feelings.
The gentle honesty approach (i.e. "I'm sorry you're disappointed, but we really can't talk about what happened. I'm so sorry.") is obviously the better option here, but I'm sure you can imagine how hard it would be for a non-confrontational 19 y.o. to go there. It's not right, but I'm sure that's why it happens.
Mamasue, the best advice I can give you and your daughter is for her to speak with her recruitment counselor, let the disappointment settle, explore her other options (COB, joining a professional/honorary/volunteer GLO, playing sports, joining clubs, whatever), and to NOT listen to what anyone in a sorority says about her being the "best PNM" or that "everyone loved her." I'm sure your daughter's a really lovely girl, but if sorority women are saying that to a PNM during recruitment, it's probably a whole lot of hot air.