33girl, I completely agree with "not shoving it down their throats." after the death of a friend. As I said before, that would be totally insensitive. (and you're right in that my kids didn't know him)
But, in the case of the death of a friend, I might take the time to gently tell my child how much I love him and how hard it would be for me to lose him - under any circumstances - and to please be careful and use good judgement. I don't think that is "shoving it down their throat"
There has to be sensitivity in everything, but as we all know, that is not always the case. I can see how, out of fear, a parent might freak out and say something in the wrong way. Or how someone, out of a feeling of frustration and loss, might try to turn the death of a friend or relative into a crusade. Noone does everything perfectly and to everyone's satisfaction all the time, especially in parenting. We are all just doing the best we can and are learning along the way...
But, this is a completely different discussion
