Why don't you check out that book "CoDependent No More." It sounds like you may be exhibiting codependent behavior. If you decide to read it, hope it helps!! Good luck!
Also, I'm sorry that you were hit! That's awful. The fact pattern that you set out below sounds like alot of drama. Do you have any older women whom are in stable relationships that you are close to and can talk with regarding your relationships. A woman of this caliber would have been able to spot that this was some mess a long time ago and given you some good advice *before* someone put his hands on you. Because you could not spot that this was some mess a long time ago (or you did not listen to your instinct if you had an instinct about this) it sounds like you may need some help with fine tuning your judgment. If you agree, consider running the men that you interact with (whether as a friend or more than a friend) by her and discuss these issues with her. Eventually you will be able to see mess coming before it even gets to you. That way you will not even get yourself in these situations.
SC
Quote:
Originally Posted by sexybrownmocha
Ladies thank you for responding to my
post.
As far as the men I am referring to I broke up with him in September after he hit me. It was a "clean" break no lingering no continued communication what-so-ever. I wasn't with him because I felt powerful by helping him. I simply believed as I do with everyone that he good would EVENTUALLY lead him to do better. One of the things I have struggled with is making allowances with peoples problems. I have always known that more than likely if the situation is reversed where I am struggling and in need most people tend to go their own way. I tend to always try to give someone a chance to get it together because I feel like I was afforded the chance to correct some of my mistakes. I do realize that basically you can try to help a person all you want but until they really azquire the drive to "really" want to change nothing happens.
Yes I have exhausted myself emotionally and here recently financially with a friend, but honestly I thought I was helping him until he recently told me the "rest" of how his situation was. Basically he lied by omission of important facts. I thought I was helping him get out of a bad situation and move on to better himself and his son , but in truth what happened was basically a girl played him. She made him believe she had set up some things for him in the music industry then when the day to perform came he not only found out it was a lie but that the young lady was with another man. I was under the impression that he was only involved with the lady for business purposes and that they had only known each other a few months. He actually had been sleeping with the girl on and off for a year and a half. Him and I were not intimate , we were friends, the guy that hit me was his best friend and when that situation occurred he was just there trying to support me and motivate me to move on.
I apologize if this offended you AKA_Monet. I was simply wanting to hopefully spark a conversation about something that I have struggled with for a long time and I was wondering how many/ if any other women had this problem and how did they deal with it. Thanks for everyone that responded.
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