Most crazy date?
 

What crazy or fucked up dates have you gone on? Any kind of date. Single or double. Blind date. Even professional or platonic dates, like the first time you did dinner with a new friend or ate lunch with a new boss. Whatever.

Last weekend, I went out to dinner with the most gluttonous person I've ever met! She's a friend of mine, and I've always known that she was very fond of food, but not to this extent. I've known her for about 6 months, I asked her why did it take her 6 months before she invited me to dinner or whatever. She said, that I didn't eat enough, and that I would embarrass her and waste her money.

Anyway, we went to Red Lobster, not crazy about the restaurant, but I love their cheddar garlic bisuits and she paid for my dinner. As the biscuits arrived, it occured to me that I forgot to wash my hands. When I came back from the restroom, ALL of the biscuits were gone. :mad: She ate all of them. :o I told our server that we needed more. My friend insisted that the server should bring back two baskets of biscuits, one for her and one for me. When we got our baskets, she ate up all of her basket. I ate only one or two, since I didn't want to get too full before my dinner came out. So, she ate the reamaining biscuits in my basket. In other words, she ate THREE baskets of biscuits, and that was before we even got our dinner! When we were done she LITERALLY could not stand up after 10 minutes that she was so full.

The whole time she talked about food or stories related to eating. On the car ride to the restaurant, at the restaurant, and the car ride home. She kept talking about a bag of cookies she took home from a party, that she was going to eat all of them once she got home. A couple of people called her on her cell phone, all of the conversations had to do something with food. She talked about how she eat so much sometimes that she throws up, and I'm not talking about bulemic style, I'm talking about from overeating. My friend said that she and her family get kicked out of buffets sometimes because they go there for lunch, camp out at the table for several hours, and then eat dinner.

I have a rule that no one can eat in my car. Well, she had leftovers, and got hungry again on the way home. When we got only four blocks, and I mean literally four blocks away from her apartment, she whipped out her food and started eating. She said, "I'm sorry girl, I just couldn't help myself".

She is blessed to have a lightning speed metabolism. You would think that she's extremely overweight, but she's just a little "healthy", not close to being obese at all. I'm 98% sure that she doesn't have an eating disorder, and she claims that she doesn't smoke weed. I think her attitude was passed on from her family. People from my dad's side of the family are similar, but not that bad.

^^^Wow, it sounds like she either has just general psychological food issues, or a tapeworm.

Wow Dionysus that is AWFUL!


Last year I went out with this guy who would ask me every weekend if I wanted to go out. Most of the time I was actually busy, but other times I just didn't want to go out with him. So I gave in and we went to the movies. He kept asking me about scenes in the movie as if I had seen it before.

Then I noticed that something smelled funny, but I tried to pay it no mind. The more he talked the more I smelled it. I am one of those wierd people that gag when something stinks, so Ii am leaning allllll the way to the left (he was on my right). I wanted to lift the arm rest and scoot to another seat. He kept talking and I said, "Do you smoke a lot?" He said yes and asked why I asked. I then told him, "You should smoke a little less or something."

Now don't get me wrong I know other people who smoke and thier breath is not that rank. Well after the movie he wanted to go to Starbucks and I was too disgusted to do anything so I thanked him and went home. How about I am in my car and I turned my head and I smelled that funk again!

He talked sooooo much that His STANK breath got stuck to my hair and face (the side he was sitting on). GROSS!

That guy was soooo weird. He was staring at me during the movie and he even tried to hold my hand (BARF). That was the first time we went out....he should not have been oogling me. Not to mention he was not cute. It was strange. He called yesterday and asked if we could go to dinner and to the Wine Loft for Valentine's Day......ummmmm I think not.

It's sooo a tapeworm ;)

Seriously though, that's kinda gross. I consider myself a little fat kid cuz I genuinely enjoy eating, but I do actually get full and I do stop eating when that little satiating hormone kicks in and tells me to stop eating. Please tell me there's no date #2 with this girl...

Here's a good one. Guy from summer job asks me out. Ex-military, guy, I might add, and later on I did find out he's a pretty up tight republican (this is important to know as the story goes on). Normally my inter-office romance policy is that it is never a good idea, but meh, summer job with only 1 month to go, somewhat bored with life and the romantic department in general. I said okay. There were worse things in life.

So, after work on Saturday afternoon, we meet in the company parking lot, him wearing a "Navy" t-shirt and me in some cute but casual clothes. He says he heard about this "music festival" at the park and thought it sounded fun. Sounded like a cool first date to me, too. We get there and realize it is a gay pride festival. I'm cool with the whole thing, but I think he was nervous about what to do. We walk into the festival and everything and I start to talk to some of the leftist political booth people. Then we sit down and start to listen to a joan jett cover band. I run into my fabulous and extremely "out" guyfriend from high school and start catching up on our lives. Guyfriend's "friend" tries to give my date a high five when he sees the Navy shirt... and I don't think my date was too happy about being mistaken as a gay miliary man. After a couple songs he suggests that maybe we should grab a coffee, and then on our way out I run into another "out" guyfriend, this time from college.

All in all, true colors were shown. And I got a great 1st date story about a religious conservative who accidentally took a fag hag to a gay pride parade.

The end.

ewww...gag at the funk breath.

Probably the worst (if not the worst, it ranks right up there) lunch I ever had was with a customer from work. He asked me to lunch after we had finalized a deal for a major piece of equipment. We went to the restaurant and while we were waiting to order, he suggested that we just skip lunch and f*** instead, since he just spent a lot of money with my company. I refuse to talk to him (fortunately, he hasn't come back to my office, but he does call for supplies and service) unless absolutely necessary, but he still has the gall to ask me occasionally if I want to "give him a raincheck". Even typing this makes my skin crawl.

^^ Weird. It's almost as if he was implying that kids didn't really count unless they lived with you, which is a horrible display of parenting values, IMO.

This is a true story.

So I met this guy from online and we went out to one of my favorite areas of the city to take a first date (Friendship Heights -- there's a Borders, movie theater, upscale shopping, and both Maggiano's and Cheesecake factory -- just good places to walk and talk and eat)

Problem number one....his breath was SOOOOOOOOO BAD! Like, I seriously thought he had some kind of illness it was so bad.

Second problem.... his bottom teeth were sooooooo bad. Bad teeth made me want to gag worse than bad breath.

Other problems.... he wasn't "out" but was in a gay fraternity. I was like ummmm that makes no sense. He also was SO CLOSETED that he would log into that same dating site and tell people that they shouldn't besmirch the name of his school by putting it in the profile.

Major douche.

He's also in an NPHC frat which rhymes with Shmiota. Which should have been a deal breaker off the top, but alas....

You need to go to the corner.

http://americasfamily.innovatorz.org.../dunce_cap.jpg

One of my friends is notorious for the most awesome bad date stories. This is kind of long but awesome. I cut and pasted this from her email about a bad match.com date:

Oh my gosh - the date was awful! I've been going over it in my head since I got home last night and then gave a summary to my mom this morning and the girls at work when I got in.

Ok, here's the scoop - mind you - most of the time throughout the date I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt and it didn't all hit me as being so awful until it was over and I was in the car and was like, man that was awful. I think it's like when you think you might throw up and you're holding it in as long as you can, and then suddenly as the toilet gets within sight it just all comes raging out. Hahaha.

So in a nutshell, he was spastic, manic, inappropriate and a skosh creepy. He was not as good looking in person and was dressed kind of like a dork in khakis with the belt a little too high, sneakers (good right? wrong) that had giant floppy, 5 year old boy looking laces hanging down to the floor like bunny ears, and a polo. Whatever, his looks would have been ok if he had been a normal person.

He used the word 'right?' to end every sentence and after about 20 times when I said "you use the word right a lot" he said, "oh, I do, right? Oh I said it again, right? Aahh! I know, I will say something nice to you every time I say it, right? Ahh, I said it again. You have a pretty watch."

So that was the general manic disposition I got from him. He ate the dessert like a little boy, swirling it into soup and then shoving a giant pile of soup into his mouth and making noises like he was trying to be funny like "aaaa laaaa aaaaa" like he was a monster. Ok, so whatever. On more than one occasion he wanted to find out if I smelled good and tried to bury his face in my neck and hair and then went "ooooh, you do smell good. I smell pretty good too, right? Ah! I said it again. You have a nice sweater."

Then it went really down hill when his leg touched mind so he reached under the table and started rubbing my pant leg and said "oooh, those are nice, let's see if you shaved your legs, OH you didn't!!!!" As he rubbed my leg under my pants. I was horrified! Then he abruptly asked for the check after literally less than a half hour saying he had to be at work at 7:30 - and it was like 7:40 at that point cause we met up at about 7:10.

Other spastic things: when we get outside he suddenly wants to take me somewhere and I'm like "but you just rushed us out of there. Um no I don't think so." He wants to show me his car he says is so sweet and just got in Sept. So we walk up to it and I'm like "um, is it new?" And he goes "do you think it's new?" and to be polite I go "uuuuhhhhhh, yeah?" And he goes "ah! hahahahaah! you think it's new! hahahaah - it's not!!!" (it's a 1991 Toyota MR2). And I'm like "well I was trying to be polite". So then he wants to walk on the pier instead. Ok fine (only like 40 minutes have still gone by). He not only puts his arm around me but puts my arm around him and goes "no spare tire right? pretty nice, aahhhh, you have pretty toenails" (which you can hardly see btw).

We get on the pier and with his arm around me goes "hmmm, you're curvy, let me see" and then turns me to face him and pats me down!!!! "Ooooh, you are curvy, nice" (ugh, this hurts just to type).

Ok so the grand finale: we're sitting on a bench side by side, he puts both arms around my waist, rubs my belly and starts grabbing at it and goes "hmmm, let's see how much fat you have. Wow - you have like no fat. Oh wait, yes you do, you have a little! Ah hahahahaahah!" Um, really?????

A few seconds later he tries to kiss me, I go "NO!!" he doesn't listen so I turn my face, then I have to turn it again and go "uh we just met!!!", he goes "oh right right, we have plenty of time" and a few moments later I go "ready to go?" and hop up.

We walk back toward the restaurant and I go "uh this is me!" as he's walking right past the valet. Tries to kiss me again, I turn my face over and over like f*cking Max Headrum, say "talk to you later" and he basically just walks away. I don't remember if he said anything or not, I was half way to handing my ticket to the valet. Total time lost: hour ten.

There hasn't been a thread that's made me laugh this hard in a very, very long time.:p

She didn't eat til she got full...she ate until she got tired
- Robin Harris

Talk about 3rd Wheel....
 

Ok....


I remember there was this young lady I met and we kept missing each other for whatever reasons (busy, car trouble, she couldn't find baby sitter etc) so finally after 2 weeks, we nail down a Friday evening dinner date...so I get off from work, go home take care of the 3 S's, get dressed, make sure I got enough money and leave. On the way, she calls and tells me that she is running a bit late AND that if I don't mind her bringing her friend which is almost an afterthought since THEY are already on the road anyway. So, saying no is out of the option really since I am almost there. We meet and her friend apologizes because her husband had to work late and she was bored so she decides to tag along.

Well, we get to the restaurant and get seated and what's really jacked up is that my date's friend is more talkative (and more interesting) than she. And we tried several times to kind of leave openings in the convo for her to chime in, but alas, she doesnt aside to the occasion.

Well dinner comes and goes and my date's friend....welll...damn she ate enough to feed a small country.

When the bill comes, I go over it, take out enough money for myself and my date ( who by this time has loosened up a bit) and hands the bill over to her friend who then says there is not enough here to cover (BTW did I mention her portion is the same amount as both of ours???). I tell her that I have enough to cover myself, my date and the tip. She says that she didn't bring any cash but, luckily she has her card.

She excuses herself to go to the ATM, my date excuses herself to go to the bathroom ( no they didn't try to ditch!) and then the bill gets paid and we leave.

My date all of a sudden has to leave, but her friend is trying to hang out and go clubbing. They debate the issue (apparently they didn't get their signals right) but 15 mins later my date just up and bounces, friend in tow.

3 says later, I get a scathing e mail about what kind of a cheap guy I am for not covering the entire bill.