Where are all the old fashioned guys?
 

Why is it so difficult to find nice, old fashioned guys these days? Yes, many guys I know do dress well for work, but once the weekend hits, they become grubby, and yes, even those who are in their early 30s act like they're still 21 (or sometimes even younger). They aren't as gentlemanly as they could be either, even when they're dressed up. I'd like a guy who would open doors for me, who doesn't fist his cutlery (trust me, I know at least two guys who can't hold their fork and knife properly), who'd help me with my coat if necessary. Someone who doesn't feel uncomfortable when dressed up. Why is it so hard to find these guys? I know that they're out there!

Don't know where you live, Taualumna, but it has been my experience that gradutes of the armed services academies (USNA, West Point, USAFA) have acquired good manners in general. They tend to open doors for ladies, pay for dates and know which utensil to use and how to hold it :)

This true. MOST (and I mean MOST) guys in military academys know how to treat a lady. There is the occassionally nasty youngster however.

I'm from Toronto. The guys I know who have professional jobs seem to sort of know what to do, at least in terms of etiquette, but they're still not "old fashioned". Even then, they're mostly in their early 30s and not their mid to late 20s (I'm almost 25). I was at a party last summer, and a guy (early 30s) who has got to be at least 200 lb, DECIDED to go into a kids' bouncing castle, which then deflated. At another party, one that was a somewhat dressy, post-work affair, a guy in his late 20s sticks his face in front of a window air conditioner unit "just because". And he wasn't exactly drunk at that time either. Both these guys are well educated, from families with well-caring parents and have stable jobs.

The guy I'm currently dating has great manners. He says I have his fraternity to thank for that. On our first date, he stood when I came to the table and when I left for/returned from the restroom. After dating for a bit, he grew out of some of it but not all of it.

But he also falls into the "metrosexual" category so he's not everyone's type.......

theyre around...too drunk to elaborate will do later though.

You're offended because someone stuck his face in front of a window air conditioner? For real?

These old-fashioned guys exist, but they aren't as perfect as you'd think. For starters, any guy with truly impeccable manners was taught to behave that way by his momma. And, no matter who she is, you don't hold a candle to her. SHE is the one who taught him how to dress so properly, but she's also the one who used to iron his boxers and undershirts. He'll be surprised when you think that's a stupid idea. He may be able to hold his fork correctly, but he'll be doing it at his mom's house, with or without you, until she dies. I don't think I need to tell you that this is not the type of man you want in your life.

In addition, old-fashioned men often come with old-fashioned ideas and opinions. Yes, he may throw his coat over a puddle so you can avoid soiling your feet. But he probably will want you to be barefoot around the house- and pregnant. The highest, most ridiculous levels of chivalry are typically accompanied by sexism. You may be placed on the highest pedestal, but you might just have to stay there instead of moving into the 21st century.

I'm not knocking your desire for an old-fashioned guy... just saying be careful what you wish for. You just might get it :p

I think Prince William is still single, better get in line. Or say they say "in queue".

I agree with EVERY word you wrote!!!

Preach ON Sister CarolinaCutie!

Also, chivalry has NOTHING to do with family wealth. Just so you know.

valkryie, I'm like, WTF?! too...

he probably went in b/c those things are fun. i still go in when i'm somewhere there is one.

The party was held at a small law firm in a "hip" district in town. Mr. 20-something's behaviour just didn't "fit in".

To mu_agd re: bouncing castle: Yes, bouncing castles are fun :), but they're not too fun when they've been deflated. They had to close it down until it could be repumped. The REAL kids weren't happy :(

CarolinaCutie, excellent points! You have to find the right balance in a guy, between knowing how to dress and use silverware properly, and "a woman's place is in the home, so get back in the kitchen and bake me a pie!"

There are men out there who do know how to treat a lady properly and how to dress and behave in public, yet don't have the old-fashioned notions about women being barefoot and pregnant. They do exist! :) And, to some extent, some of these behaviors can be taught - look at any episode of "Queer Eye" - so if a guy is a little "rough around the edges" it can be ok. You can't change a man, but you can refine him a bit.

Don't some fraternities incorporate information on things like table manners, etc. into their member education programs?

If you were upset because you didn't think that some guy who held his fact to the air conditioner was fitting in, well, you have more things to worry about instead of trying to find that old-fashioned guy.

Hell, you seem damn picky about the smallest of things. You may want to revamp your search under the "where can I find A man campaign?"

Word...



-Sticking my face in front of air conditioners "just because" since 2000!