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undacuva22 04-09-2002 11:04 AM

Is it wrong to Date/Marry Someone for What They Have?
 
I was wondering what you all look for in a relationship.

We had a very interesting discussion in my class the other day about marrying someone for money or atleast what they have to bring to the relationship?

I personally have dated guys that did not have money and it is not fun having to pay for things all the time. I think that for me I would like someone that can contribute and atleast has some type of stable income coming in. Of course I have my own money but he needs to have his own money too. I think that many people who say that we are suppose to be women on the 2k are thinking that since we are "trying to be so independent" that is the cue for men to think that we are suppose to start paying for them when we go out. Now taking turns paying for meals and dates, I am with that......... But I am not with the whole idea of myself paying everytime. I know that in the past men have paid for us (ladies) to go out but i think that goes back to the earlier years when men were suppose to have chivary towards women. But of course you still have to look at the pay gap between men and women? No matter how hard we try ladies men are still making more then we are and did you know that more black women obtain college degrees then black men and we also obtain more MA's and Phd's also. But other then that I want to here some feed back. Do yall think its wrong to date people on what they have?

Japera1920 04-09-2002 01:19 PM

MMMMMMM....sometimes there are topics that one just do not want to touch at all but I am goign to lightly tap it.

When involved in a relationship, there are a lot of factors that will play in a up and coming commitment. You have to see if you are ready for a relationship or just play the dating field.

You have to ask what do I want out of the relationship. Do I want a long term boyfriend and girlfriend relationship? Do I want just a physical partner? Etc., etc.

Is it wrong dating a person because of what they have. Yes and no is the answer. Yes, because you would want to be compatible personally and professionally. The reason being say person A works in corporate America making a six figure salary and attends a lot of cultural events. Person B is just a around the way girl. Never interested in cultural events. Not looking to better herself. Comfortable are making minimum wage. (I know it is a extreme example)

It will become a strain on person a to date person b. The reason why I say no because you never know what a person situation is. Maybe the person has hit a hard bump in the road. Maybe that person might be in transition of a change in their life. Just maybe that person has a lot of potential.

When you are dating a person, you have to look to see what they are into in their personal life and professional life. You do not want to date someone that is unequally yoke. JMHO.

TLAW 04-09-2002 01:59 PM

Men and women have a different idea on this. I was watching the trailer for some TV show "The Bachelor". Seems like some rich guy get to pick from a couple dozen ladies to choose his bride. Smacks of the other one, "Who wants to marry a Millionaire".
These shows move me to cussing. They objectify women worse than Playby does. Just thinking of them makes my black skin flush with uncontrollable rage, and I feel like screaming...
... now that I have regained my sanity, I see nothing wrong with woman wanting particular things from a spouse. Now, if you are immature enough to solely align your happiness to some dollar bills, you have what is coming to you. Sometimes, ambition is what matters. Some sistas look for the "now". What was it that Ralph Tresvant said about money again?


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