how to get over the cheating incident?
 

/......./////////////////////////////

This can't be real.

Why would I make this shit up?

Why would you put it on GreekChat?

I just joined this greekwhatever today because i've just been upset lately and i was hoping people would respond and give me advice. I don't know a lot of people who take the person who has cheated on them back. How do you get over something like that? I just wanted some advice, not to be told i'm a liar.

I read another girls problem and it was about a cheating boyfriend and people responded and gave her advice. I thought it was a thread where people help others. It's in the dating and relationship section. Is it not appropriate?

break up with the loser. he cheated on you.

for some people they may be able to work through that and get past it, but I would venture to say most people can't get past it. you are always going to be wondering and it's hard to give him your trust back.

if he runs back to that other girl, well, she's crazy, and they deserve each other.

Assuming this is on the up-and-up, I'll hit a few highlights.
Or it will make him figure that if he's going to take the blame anyway, he might as well do the crime. Guess that strategy didn't work out for you, huh?

From your description, it sounds like his fears were well-founded.

Actual trust isn't working for either of you, huh?

Just wow.

Given how much lying you're doing here, why in the world would you expect him or anyone else to be truthful?

I'm still trying to figure out why he decided to trust you -- or put up with you, for that matter.

Huh. Imagine him thinking you'd get mad.

WHY?

Grow up? Start acting like an adult instead of a middle-schooler and start treating him like an adult? Stop expecting him to be honest with you when you're busy finding out his passwords to check-up on him? Get your own place?

I would say - break up with him and start over. Because, from the outside - looks like both of you have royally effed up this relationship.

Don't you just love it when newbies register on Greekwhatever because they think we're Dr. Phil?

Well, to be fair, I'm about the closest thing to Dr. Phil that currently exists anywhere - except for being fat. And I speak proper English. However, this shit circus really doesn't need too much help - all of it is insane and juvenile, and we're all lucky they used protection while banging.

But that's how you're behaving, cow.

Once again, slowly:

The internets are a mean, mean place. Do not enter the internets if you don't have a thick skin!

BTW geekshit BAHAHAHA

You forgot to yell "Bingo" at the end because, clearly, you won. :D

lol

ok what did I miss?

ETA: maybe it's the same needle dick loser who won't marry his fiance because he delivers pizzas.

Thanks Mystic for the blow by blow... ;)

Simplyme--

I am responding in a place of serenity and solace. You need to take several deep breaths slowly... And find your breath...

There are 2 things going on here:

1. Both of you are insecure personally and relationship-wise, which means you need to strengthen and buttress your own inner being before you move forward onto the "NEXT" relationship.
   
2. As far as why he cheated, who knows, did you ask him? :rolleyes: People with personal self-esteem problems and insecurities often cheat. What they are trying to do is to find something/someone externally to validate themselves... The feeling of hurting the other person is minimized so much because all that matters is that "next hit"--like an addiction--same as drugs/compulsive gambling/alcohol. Similar brain chemicals are activated.

As a suggestion: I would put a 2 month no contact order on the EX. I would erase all contact information you have of him. That means myspace/facebook, IM, text message/cell phone/landline, answering machine/house address/etc., whatever, no matter what... This is your diet you need to go on to lose that heavy burden DEAD weight... And if he shows up at your doorstep uninvited, unannounced, call the police...

Next: Shopping/Spa Therapy... You need to get that sexy dress from White House/Black Market, with the High Heeled shoes Rihanna just modeled. Then get your hair/nails/eyebrows/bikini wax done. The object heerah is to look uber sexxxy...

Your activity: Go to the happenest club and buy a chardonnay and sit at a very prominent chair--sexxxily. And be very, very flirtatious... Your mode of attraction must be telepathic. If you are clueless as to how to work it, then you need to train yourself with like minded individuals to make that happen...

How to handle encounters: What that means, you don't hoe yourself out, but you be mysterious without going into detail. Answer questions vaguely and turn questions back onto them. If they ask for your number, you can do that if you'd like, but I would make it very difficult for them to speak to you. If they want to speak to you, they'd find a way... They find a way to get game tickets at the last minute, they can find a way to contact you sufficiently... The objective here is to have public dates arranged--i.e. meet for coffee in 3-4 days, meet at the library, meet in a public during daylight hours something relatively inexpensive... Ice cream is a good one...

If there is a fella you don't like, and you want to get rid of him--i.e. he has jumbled teeth, his breath stinks/he has BO, he's very drunk, he has an incomplete grillz, he just grosses you out--just start talking about Jesus and how He saves, and invite him to Churtch... LOL...

It's called recruitment for BF bootcamp... Be a creature unlike any other!

PM me if there are further questions.

Dr. AKA_Monet

"Cow"?

Is this 1957?

As smart as you'd like to think you are - you have made it quite
obvious you suffer from self-esteem issues (meaning you're probably a fat ass).

And you probably don't have the willpower to succumb (and stick with) anorexia - you pathetic slob.

Just remember, I'm the one who came here for advice - not the one who has to put other people down to feel better about themselves, cow.


:D

I don't have to put you down to feel better about myself. I put you down because you make it so easy to do.

So here's some serious advice, so you'll stop this:

You should take a hard look at some of the decisions you made in the relationship, both prior to the cheating, prior to you finding out about the cheating, then after it was discovered. When I say "take a look", I mean this in the sense that your actions seemed more intent on punishment or expressing your own angst, anxiety or insecurity than actually solving the relationship issues or examining both a.) how to save the relationship and b.) whether the relationship needed to be saved.

The reason why I used the word "immature" before is because things like exchanging Facebook and Myspace passwords indicates a fundamental lack of trust, rather than a newfound trust - it seems like a mistake I would have made while younger, thinking that "sharing" is the same as "trust" when instead it's a total lack of trust.

Your contact with the other woman is likely the worst possible way to handle the situation - your problems were with your boyfriend, not the other woman. She is, in all seriousness, totally irrelevant. The focus on her instead of him indicates insecurity on some level, and you should examine whether you're ready for anything serious at this point. You have to care for yourself first, before anyone else can.

You also seem quite closed off to any reasonable criticisms - which calls into question why you even posted this. Take a deep breath, and listen to what people are saying - you seem young, you still have plenty of time to get it together. Someday, you'll look back at this and laugh (that day is today, if you're trolling us).

Senusret I, I am sorry that she is not intimidated by your hotness!

I'm ashamed of Senusret I that he could not give in to anorexia.

Sister, your posts just keep on getting better.

LOL I just think it's ironic that I'm the pathetic slob...

Hey, I was away from greekchat and the internets in general for a year and a half! I'm just now getting my snark back.

I had taken a psychology class and almost every girl did a presentation on eating disorders. I did one on the overprescription of prescription drugs to children without any oversight, and one other woman did one on the psychology of non white women.

So I had my handouts and my college roommate found them interesting, and calculated the amount of weight she'd have to lose (according to the handouts which were not cited well) to be clinically anorexic (all in jest to mock bad research skills). On the calendar for the rest of the year she'd write "lose 30 more pounds to be anorexic" or "don't forget to skip dinner and waste the money you spent on a meal plan."

Perhaps you should folow her lead Senusret I, to quote a Lifetime Movie "It takes discipline to be thin!"

Was that from the movie about the anorexic ballerina? I can't remember the title, but I know it starred Kimberly McCullough.

"Don't forget to 'forget' to eat!"

Our personal favorite was the one about the girls who had a pact, and Lynda Carter (Wonder Woman) played the mom. The one girl died and the other would have visions of her on the beach and what not. It is called Moment of Truth: A Secret Between Friends and luckily will be on tomorrow night on the Lifetime Movie Network if you need Thinspiration Senusret I.

You're thinking of Dying to Dance but the one I was thinking of was Hunger Point with Barbara Hershey, where the mom said to her preteen girls "first one to lose 10 pounds gets a new bathing suit" when she's putting them in the car. One sister fights the battle, the other doesn't and is quoted in the commercials "It takes discipline to be thin."

Wow - you know way more about Lifetime movies than I do. I'm jealous.

I missed the one about Coco Chanel - is it as good as it looked? Should I try to DVR a repeat??

I haven't seen that yet, I considered downloading the preview/trailer to my IPod to watch at the gym. I have so much crap on my DVR to watch this weekend while I finish my knitting projects.

You can search at www.lmn.tv for your favorite flicks by title, cast, or subject.

OMG they have a clip from Dying to Belong where they circle the fat!
http://www.lmn.tv/movies/details.php?id=MOVE+3214

A co-worker saw the Coco Chanel one and said it was excellent... told me to try to get it on the DVR.

It's on iTunes so I might just download it - or maybe convince boyfriend to do it because he has a DVD burner.

Glad to hear it's good though - I like Shirley McClain and the commercials made it look awesome.

AGZG: 2
SimplyStupid: 0


My snarky never goes out. :)
I saw that one on YouTube (and am now convinced that I can finding ANYTHING on YT...except that one ep where Tyra ran away from dolphins, but I'm sure it'll pop up somewhere). It was a good movie and I enjoyed it...as far as you can enjoy stuff like that I guess. I was stoked that the dad is Roman from Days of Our Lives.

My favorite Lifetime Movie EVER, starred Judith Light as a spousal abuser. It is called Men Don't Tell and her husband is a construction worker and she is abusing him. Now I realize spousal abuse is nothing to mock in opposite or same sex couples, but It was so hard to take as realism since it is Judith Light (AKA Angela from 'Who's The Boss") and there's a scene where he calls a battered women's shelter from a phone booth in the rain, and they hang up on him because they think he is making a sick joke. I love that Lifetime shows it (they didn't make it) because men being abused by women is real and it does happen, and hopefully men who call for help are treated better than they were in this film.

It's soooo sad but, when I was in high school, I would hit a lot when I was mad or offended. I didn't know any other way to express myself. My guy friends said that I'd probably end up in an abusive marriage--I'd be the one beating my husband all the time. :rolleyes: Thank God I grew out of that, but it's so sad that that happens and people don't take that sort of thing seriously.

You guys are sick. I love you. Don't ever change.

So, is the answer that the op should watch Lifetime movies?

Nah - the answer is that the OP should stop being a troll.

The thread just flowed right into Lifetime movies. Because really, what thread shouldn't?

I understand the wanting answers and all that jazz about your cheatin piece of shit; I too have recently learned that my boyfriend cheated on me this past summer, it hurts and it sucks..and the girl..well she's a bitch who well...lets just say wont be trying to get around my bf or me anymore... but back to the point. It took a lot for me to even look at my boyfriend let alone you're living with him, thats harsh... I think if you're going to take him back and stay with him then you really need to give yourself the time to get over it, dont let pety things get to you or you'll always fight and bring up whoever ur significant other was once with. It takes time; lots and lots of time, i still question my boyfriend sometimes, although i know he isnt doing it anymore its always going to be in the back of your mind you just have to leave it there and do your best not to bring it up. Start by checking yourself first, you may be to blame in the situation, especially if he is afraid to tell you anything at all, maybe you're a little too aggresive and naturally not good at trusting someone. spend time with him not badger him. Dont be up his butt 24:7. let him live his life and trust that he isnt going to cheat again, and if you cant let that happen then you yourself need to do some growing up and leave him. I understand shit happens and people mess up but part of life is learning how to cope and get over things move forward and not always dwell in the past. If you cant look forward and see him/her in it then you just need to peace out on him and move on instead of wasting each others time.

Nice 'stache.
http://i36.tinypic.com/24b4rpj.jpg