Corrupt-A-Wish
 

So I took this "game" from another board and here is how it goes. The person above you makes a wish. you grant it, but corrupt it in some way. Then you make your own wish.

Ex.

Person: "I wish for a new car"
You: "granted, but its lacking an engine and you are forced to walk everywhere"
You: "I wish for ______"

And we're off....


I wish a surprise deposit in my checking account.

Granted, but it's fradulent and the bank's going to charge you a TON for it.

I wish for a time machine

you can't control the destination time or place.

i wish i had Jessica Alba's phone number.

Granted, of course this Jessica Alba is from Arkansas and lives in a doublewide.

I wish that I could eat anything I wanted and not gain weight.

Granted, but it's cooked by a street-walker with the norovirus.

I wish for a never ending bottle of Johny Walker Blue Label.

Granted but it is never ending as it is being refilled by a water hose.


I wish Bill Gates left his entire Microsoft fortune to me!

Granted but unfortunately this is AFTER he donated much of it to charity, then lost the rest in anti-trust judgements

I wish for a pony!

Granted, but it's 45 years old and has hoof and mouth disease.

I wish for a castle.

Granted, but its a sand castle and the tide is coming in.

I wish I'd win the lottery.

Granted, but it was just the scratch-off kind, and it was $1.

I wish for a cure for AIDS.

granted, but it was a cure for the administrative aid's cold

I wish I could go back to bed

Granted but your bed has rusty coils coming out of it.


I wish I could marry Prince William of England!

You will marry Prince William in a dream. After you wake up, you'll go back to bed to try and recover the dream, but you won't be able to go back to sleep.

I wish I was Prince William.

Granted, but you are Prince Williams Jenkins from Southeast DC.

I wish David Bowie was my real dad. :(

Granted, but ShamikaT is your mom.


I wish I were 4 inches taller.

Granted, but you have a rare condition called gigantism which causes you to grow uncontrollably and within the year you will be close to 9 feet tall.

I wish I lived in a different apartment....

*POOF!* but it's a the smallest apartment you've ever lived in, which makes it hard to escape the giant rat. and when he drinks, he hits you.

i wish i had gladiator mice.

Granted, but the gladiator mice unite against you, and decide to hold you hostage in your home, their "Rome."

I wish I had a purple unicorn. :)

Granted but the unicorn likes to use his horn to wake you up every morning by gouging you in the eyes with it.


I wish my cats would clean their own litter box.

Fine, but they think your bed, and not the trash can, is the best place to leave all the clumps.

I wish gas prices would go down.

Granted, but they misconstrue the meaning of clean, and decide to dump the litter into your closet, ruining all of your favorite outfits.

I wish I had a gigantic house!

PS I'd like my cats to clean their own litter box, too.

granted but you would live there all alone with 20 cats and maid service will not come to your house.


I wish I didn't have to work today

Ok. You're fired. You don't have to work tomorrow, either.

I'll say it again. I wish gas prices would go down. :D

TA DA! your car breaks down!

i wish i could speak and read Russian, fluently.

You can speak and read Russian fluently; unfortunately, it's now the only language you know, making it impossible for anyone here in the US to understand you.

I wish for a puppy!

your puppy has worms, chews up your shoes, craps all over the floors, and gives you fleas......twice

I wish I invented the internet

Granted but you are now under investigation by the Dept. of Justice for fraud and tax evasion.


I wish I had an unlimited AMEX card payed for by someone else.

o dayum that was evil......


granted...but u find out your benefactor is 89 years old and wants you to be in a sex video with him to be posted on the internet.


I wish for world peace.

You obtain world peace, but with that comes a ban on sexual intercourse or any food; thus, the whole world dies of two forms of starvation.

I wish for a world party with everyone invited!

big party, and everybody brought their cups, but nobody pitched in.

i wish i could fly.

Granted, you can fly, but you are constantly getting pelted with birdy poop.

I wish for a time machine to go back and re-do all of the fun stuff I have encountered :D

granted but you can only do so 2 feet from the ground.


I wish for 3 more wishes

hahaha this is too fun. :p

Granted, except the 3 other wishes can only involve chitlins and dog crap.


I wish I had a better paying job.

granted...but it's sorting out the crap from the chitlins and mixing it with the dog crap...for 10 hrs a day 6 days a week....no breath mask is provided



i wish I could go to the movies for free this summer

Granted but they're running Gigli only all summer long

I wish for my degree without having to work for it.

granted but it's in Physical education and the only job you find only pays $20000 a year in a po dunk town at the edge of Idaho, so you are forced to moonlight in a KFC.

I wish I could go to the SUper Bowl

Granted, but the degree is from the Earp Institiution for Higher Learning and BACs.

I wish I had more vacation time.

He gets to go to the Super Bowl, but it's after the game is over

She gets more vacation time, but has to spend it in the company basement.

I wish for a nap.

Granted but you have nightmares of both of us and you slip into a coma

I wish for a new pc