rushing again
 

I was pressured (dirty rush) into joining a house. I did not want to appear rude or ungrateful and i wanted it to work out, however, now i am an initiated member of a house where i do not like the people in it. I want to disaffiliate, however, if i do is there any way whatsoever that i can rush again? Greek life is big on campus and I would like to find a sorority where i belong, this house is not a match for me, the girls are weird and kinda mean. any advice would be great. thnks!

Assuming you're in an NPC sorority and you want to rush other NPC sororities, the answer is no. Once initiated you can never go back.

Being "dirty rushed" does happen. However, if the manner in which you were rushed upset you, why on earth did you stay the whole way through pledging and initiation?

Try talking to your pledgemistress or big sister about your concerns and see if it can be worked out.

Echoing what others have said, why on earth would you go through a new member process and initiate into a sorority where the girls are weird and mean?

Your choices are: disaffiliate and join a local sorority that will take former NPC members, disaffiliate and remain independent, or try to make the best of things right where you are. It is not possible to join another NPC organization once you've been initiated into one.

I have no idea which NPC group you joined but just remember that the makeup of a chapter can change with a pledge class or 2. Those who were once mean and at the bottom can change and be extremely close and number one.

Talk to your pledge class members and see if they feel the same...and do something about it!!

If you truly don't think it is for you, then perhaps disaffliation may be better...but remember the NPC org is made up of more than just those members. While I may not have instantly loved some of my collegiate chapter sisters, I haven't found an alumne athat I didn't like/love.;)

well i just kept trying to give it more of a chance until it was too late. i feel trapped now! i really do regret not dropping when i had the chance.

i wanted it to work and it ddnt, does this mean i can never join a house where i would better fit in?

If you joined an NPC sorority...then no.

Are you in a chapter affiliated with NPC?

yes its npc

no, you can't join another NPC group--no matter how comfortable you feel with them.

Yes, that is exactly what it means.
Either make the best of it or drop out.

Make change or drop out.

That is your options.

Sorry, you're stuck where you are then, unless there's a local that wouldn't have any policies precluding them from accepting you.

It's not even November yet.

If you went through rush in - the earliest I can think of - mid August, that means you've been in the sorority for only 2 months.

As I said in my pm to you, to go through feelings of "what did I do" after the busy time of pledging is perfectly normal. Especially if you're in a larger chapter, to not feel like you've found your place right away is more common than you'd think. Give the girls and the sorority a chance.

If you still detest it next semester or at the end of next year - then disaffiliate. But you're not in a situation where if you move quickly, you'll be able to be in another sorority. You can't, unless it's a local or a non-NPC national group. So you might as well try to make it work, at least until the end of this semester.

it seems unfair that i am now stuck

Sorry, that's how it's always been with NPC organizations.

i wish i had known this!

??? are you the same poster?

ETA: You asked this same question back in April, and you got the same responses then.

my roomate, i forgot she logged on for a sec

I am sorry, but I have a problem with this. When you say 'pressured into joining a house', it sounds like you had a gun to your head or something. You say that you did not want to be rude, so does that mean that you did not want to join the house in the first place? Then why did you? I am not asking you to expose your business, but I do not understand how you could just let them talk you into joining. I can understand if you wanted to give them a try. But initiation = commitment. Pledging is not just about learning the sorority history. It is about knowing your chapter sisters and figuring out whether you want this for the long haul.
I told my chapter sisters that I believe joining a sorority is like marriage with pledging being the engagement. Make sure you are willing to commit BEFORE the 'wedding day/initiation'.
I am sorry if it seems like I am attacking you cause I am not. When a sorority wants you to join, they are giving you the option to decide if it is what you want. But I know that we are pass that point cause you already initiated. And I am sorry that it is too late to join another group. There are many reasons why that is the policy.
I agree with the others in trying to talk to your pledge sisters, but if you are really uncomfortable with them, then you can always join non Greek groups on campus.

Right.

You could always deactivate but remain a member of the sorority at large. Perhaps in the future alumnae membership will be more rewarding. But I wouldn't drop the whole org because of your experience with the chapter.

(BTW, this is not ariesrising, this is her roommate. Ariessetting)

*cue psycho music*

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...ad.php?t=81676

Let this be a life lesson to you to fully investigate things before signing your name to the bottom line.

Not only did you have the chance to say "no" or "i'm not ready yet" before accepting the bid, but you also had your entire pledge period to decide whether or not the group was something you wanted to be a part of.

Under these circumstances, you're not going to get much sympathy here.

As AChiOSnap said, this person posted the exact same thing back in April (actually, she posted it twice, the first thread she got lots of excellent advice in and didn't want to hear it. That thread disappeared, and another thread asking the same thing was posted)

Here's a link to that thread:
http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...ad.php?t=77622

OP, you will and are getting no sympathy whatsoever. I agree that you're acting weird in that you posted before and didn't listen. (And i find it hard to believe your roommate has the same problem.) If you hate it so much, disaffiliate.

Oh and OP, I forgot to add the... WHY did you stick it out through initiation if you hated it so much? And WHY didn't you listen to the advice posted before?? And WHY come back here after all of that???

Can we count the number of times that conversations turn into name calling and away from the original topic?!!

Back to the topic..again, excellent advice...stick with it and see if it improves or leave immediately.

Dear ariesrising's roommate, Just a point of information. Many collegiate sororities don't allow deactivitation in this way. If you are going to remain a member, you need to retain your affiliation to your collegiate chapter, pay dues and attend mandatory obligations. The only way to disaffiliate would be to leave the university (or with some sororities per local chapter bylaws: get pregnant or get married.) But those are drastic measures just so you can join an AA later on or wear letter shirts around campus. And besides, if she hates it so much now, why would she want to retain membership status on any level?

I know it kind of bites that you feel stuck but this is nothing new, we've done it this way for many many years. I agree too that maybe you should stick it out and try to make change. It seems today that college students take the easy way out instead of trying to lead or make change. I have seen the image of a chapter change with one recruitment--if this is your concern, talk to other sisters and see what you can do about it.

If you were INITIATED into an NPC group, you cannot join another NPC group. If you were INITIATED into an NPC group, you might be able to join a LOCAL, but other non-NPC sororities might not take kindly to this. If you've already initiated elsewhere, you might be viewed as..ahem..."damaged goods". I realize that can be harsh to be told, but I don't believe in sunshine blowing...

Once you're initiated into an NPC sorority, you are ineligible to ever join any other NPC sorority. You can, however, join a local sorority, a service organization such as APO, or a non-collegiate sorority such as BSP.

Did I ever mention that I love you? :D

I just want to say that in some cases this may not be an option. Some locals have by-laws against this especially if they plan to affiliate with an NPC at later date.

This definitely is true. My local personally wouldn't take anyone who was in NPC, but generally, looking at it from an NPC point of view, it's generally an option.

I agree.

That's true, although I only know of one case of this, where there was that Chi Omega chapter that became a local and then they became Alpha Chi Omega. So, of course, the "initiated into XO" girls couldn't become AXO's.