Eliminating Bigs and Littles?
 

SAE did have, for many years a Little Sisters program. And those Little Sisters did become Big Sisters to the pledges. But several years ago, that program was stopped.

My big sister is still, to this day, my best friend.

Not sure about current status of Big Brother program. We had that in my chapter.

Jon I think what KSUviolet is talking about is eliminating bigs and littles from within the chapter. Offically our campus didn't allow sorority woman to have "big bros" for years and when ti was done it was always stated to be unoffical for that reason. I think KSUviolet is talking about eliminating sorority woman having big sis's competely and same for the guys not have big brothers.

Anyway to the point I haven't heard anything about it, but I am finding I am out of the loop these days. :(

I thought so. The Little Sister program was set up by National and IIRC was ended in part due to legal issues ( what program these days does not have an oar or two in that puddle for many reason :( )

Am interested in hearing what is going on/happening with Big Brother/Big Sister within chapters.

gosh, i hope that that is not true-i think that big sisters serve a great purpose in a chapter. they serve as guides, role models and a special shoulder to lean on when needed-not to mention the provider of cool new member and initiation gifts!!

My daughter is getting her big sister at Bama in the next few days. She is super excited to see who she gets from the chapter. It seems a shame that some sororities may consider abandoning the concept.

As a member of my chapter's charter class, we didn't have big sisters (obviously) and I know that it would have been nice to have that experience. I have the best little sister ever, and I would hate for some groups to not continue the big/little tradition.

I don't know of any chapters of SAE that don't do big/little.

Big Bro night is as fun as it gets.

ALPHA DELTA PI has not mentioned anything like that happening. In fact, we not only have diamond sisters (big/little) we have prides, and roar teams. "Set ups" like this help to diseminate specific cliques, plus get the new members involved sooner by learning about the sorority faster. Diamond sisters remain the same throughout the membership but prides and roar teams change up year to year or semester to semester.

I see no reason to get rid of this. There is no hazing or special treatment by the chapter for different sisters. And, yea different prides or diamond sisters might have more fun (and might accomplish more) but that is because of the differences of the sisters in the groups, not a mismanagement of the chapter.

That is so COOL how ADPi has all those groups!:)

That is was Bro, that is was.

big bro night was one of my favorites of pledging.

I think it would be an awful idea to eliminate bigs and littles. While it may cause problems initially with the selection process, usually that drama settles down pretty quickly. The purpose of a big sister is to help the little sister get to know everyone in the house and act as a mentor during her new member period. I think that's so important and I can't imagine my sorority experience without my big and little!

I believe KKG eliminated it, realized it was a horrible idea, and brought it back.

Getting rid of bigs and littles is ridiculous - brings us closer to being a club than a Greek organization - and any reasoning along the lines of "it gets rid of cliques" is completely asinine. Sororities are always going to have cliques within them, everyone just needs to deal with it. If it wasn't bigs/littles and families, it would be class standing or everyone who lives in the left wing of the house or something else. If the NPC doesn't want cliques, they need to change their expansion procedures so the houses don't get so huge that cliques are pretty much guaranteed.

Another reason that I have heard mentioned for getting rid of the Big Sis/Lil Sis program doesn’t have anything to do with cliques. It has to do with spending. Some Bigs are in a position to go overboard spoiling their Littles with elaborate gifts. (I’m talking spending in excess of $1000.) That’s all well and good but it makes some initiates less inclined to be a Big if they cannot provide what others may be expecting. Setting spending limits per event does help to even things out but things can still get out of hand. A good solution that I have come across is that all Little Sister gifts are purchased and handed out by the chapter. An additional and more personal gift may be given for initiation but there is a spending cap. I believe that it can be a valuable program and affordability needn’t be a factor.

On paper it sounds like a great idea to refocus programs with the intention of eliminating cliques. In reality, it is human nature to bond with others and that is why cliques form within cliques. ;) Heck, isn't that why we join sororities? Looking for a place to belong? And within that place to belong, you'll find another subset-- a clique.

ADPi's Diamond Sister program was formed with this intention. On paper, the Delta (initiated sister) sponsors the Alpha (new member) through her new member period as a personal mentor and guide to acclimate her to Greek Life and serve as her sponsor through ritual. All new member gifts, on paper, are to be budgeted through the chapter so that more women can serve in this sponsor role without assuming a financial burden. On paper, there are no "families" and the Diamond Sister relationship formally concludes with initiation.

It sounds great on paper, but in reality, ADPi's want Bigs and Littles like every other sorority. So you'll hear collegians referring to their sponsors as their "Big" or their "Big Diamond," there will be family cliques with "Grandlils" or "Grand Diamonds," and in my chapter there were even "adopted Diamonds" or "Cubic Zirconias" (if you ever see an ADPi sign a letter "CZ Love," they're adopted! LOL).

The Pride Program is a great concept-- rotating small groups to help members get to know one another better, serve on committees and support the chapter (IE. XYZ Pride takes on Task A, ABC Pride takes on Task B, etc...), but it's another system that really doesn't work well in practice when you have members who are already overprogrammed enough as it is with school, sorority and life. Getting together as a pride to bake cookies is sometimes just one more activity that can't be crammed in there-- it's like setting up a playgroup!

I think they're all great ideas on paper, but the execution needs to continue to evolve. I've no doubt it will.

Sororities need to continue their sponsor sister programs, but there should be more emphasis made on gift giving coming from the chapter and not the individual's pocket.

ETA: My chapter had a rule that any gift giving outside of a note or something small like a bag of candy or a little stuffed animal had to be given off sorority property. I think this helped discourage "keeping up with the Jones'" and getting carried away with gift-giving so that one new member didn't feel like she got stiffed in comparison to another. I think it was a good idea and that the alumnae directors who supervise sorority programming should continue keeping an eye on budgets and being mindful of the tradition of gift-giving. New member sponsors aren't going anywhere anytime soon: they have been an integral part of the new member period for far too long to disappear in a hurry.

I completely agree with a spending cap on things for littles. It's not supposed to be about presents, it's supposed to be about the relationship.

We not only had caps...we had specified items that the bigs purchased/made for littles. I think it was good, because no one felt left out because their big didn't get them as much as someone else's big.

My Sigma Kappa family is very close, and it would be a shame for others to miss out on this experience. In addition to big/little, new members have heart sisters (like a bid day buddy, often someone they met during recruitment), Senior Shadows (so that Seniors aren't put on a pedestal), and some chapters even have recent alumnae mentors. At our last formal, our seniors had sisters (non-Seniors) read them letters saying good bye to them at formal.

I would have to agree with 33girl, that large chapters are inevitably going to get cliquey. I personally think that the answer is more mentoring programs instead of fewer, because new members branch out to more women in the chapter. If there were no big-little programs, I think that sororities would only get cliquier (is that a word?) because they'd be more divided by new member class since they aren't branching out to the rest of the chapter.

Around '98-'99 Kappa introduced Kore Groups, which are structured more like a family than a big sis- little sis relationship. Though I'm not involved on the chapter side, I believe there is still a similar type of organization in place.

I loved doing the big/little in OPA. Its a great way to really become close to at least one person in the sorority. I loved my big sister, we made starbucks dates before my pledge meetings so she would help me study for my pledge quizzes. I can't imagine never having a big/lil sister program!

I'm trying to start an OPA colony/chapter here at the school I just transferred too, and my organization makes it so that the girls who are the founding sisters get big sisters too, they just come from nearby chapters! Then those big sisters usually come to the chapter initiation ceremony!.

Are you sure he/she wasn't talking about auxiliary groups like fraternity Little Sisters? I think most NPC orgs. have come out and said that they do not sanction them...because they're called "little sisters" it sometimes gets confused with the intrasorority li'l sis programs.

I am just as close to my heart sister as I am to my big & my twiddle. I didn't have a Senior Shadow, but I love that idea. :)

There is still somewhat of a big/little type relationship called Key Sisters where a sophomore or junior is paired with a New Member, but it's not nearly as exclusive as the big/little relationships previously tended to be. They also have Kore groups where (ideally) a Senior, Junior and Sophomore are matched with a New Member and serve as her mentors and "family" throughout the New Member program and even her first year. If the chapter is a larger chapter, the Kore groups can help lessen the intimidation a New Member may be feeling and help increase sisterhood within the chapter.

The Fraternity also recently reconstructed the New Member program to allow chapters more flexibility with the utilization of Kore groups. Previously, the Kore groups were to be rearranged every semester. I don't believe they require that any more.

I think chapters are still adjusting to the New Member program, and it will take a few more years before it is as effective as it could be.

wait, you only have 1 heart sister? We had one a week until initiation.

it seems to me that the chapter drama on jocelyn's campus should be dealt with as an internal problem, not a panhellenic problem, and should be handled internally, or at the most by their national office.

I agree. I can't picture a fraternity/sorority that doesn't have some sort of a big/little program. Heck, at my college sports teams had bigs and littles. Freshman year, two girls on my floor was on the crew team and the night before a big match, they got posters on their doors that said "good luck! love your Big" and stuff like that. I believe that the soccer team has them as well.

We had Heart Sis, Big Sis, and Violet Sis. I was closest to my Violet Sis's. I had one as a pledge and then had two as an Active.

I think I've also heard of Dove Sis's but not sure how they work.

When I was a collegiate my chapter had Sigma Sister of the Week. Each week you were randomly paired with another sister. At the next meeting the girls would brag about what they did with each other that week. The girls with the best activity/story won a prize.

With Big/Lil gifts my chapter always had a list of what the gifts were to be and also a budget. I always ended up over budget. There was one family that always seemed to have the sisters that could spend $2 on something but it would look like a million bucks because they were creative. So it's not always about money. :)

mmk.. from what i remember the diamond sister relationship is to continue after initiation, but you're right that a lot of people call them bigs/littles (i myself now have a great-great-grand litte, ack!).

and about the pride system, while good in theory, doesn't really exist anymore. the new leadership program which started the class coordinators system seemed to replace prides, and we're now supposed to do things with those groups.

Adpiucf is correct that technically, the diamond sister relationship concludes at initiation - learned it at DLC two years ago from my DTD.

The pride and class coordinator systems are awesome in theory, but I was so unbelievably overprogrammed in college, I never had time to go to any events. And I was a very involved chapter member.

I dont think that elimanting Big/little would be a good idea. New members/ pledges need at least one sister they know they can always turn to. During the "last week" of my pledgeship it was my big sister that got me through. Big/little, Diamond sister It doesnt matter what its called. Unless we were calling them something degradig like "lil saves" I also dont see the point in changing the name.

This is purely speculation on my part, but I assume the name change is simply because that's the current NPC trend. Rush is now recruitment, pledges are now new members, parties are called events, etc... I think our (I)HQs believe that it may seem more PC if names are changed to be more reflective of the specific sorority. Like ADPi's have Alpha/Delta members and Diamond Sisters; Sigma Kappa has Violet Sis; Tri Sigma has Pearl Pals; the list is endless.

But, like someone has previously said, even though sororities are unique, the women in them seem to want pretty much the same things. When I was VP-Pledge Ed, my Tri Sigma roommate was VP-New Member Education. On my campus, Sigma was the first org to use "New Member" instead of "Pledge", and those women WANTED to be called pledges. Probably just because all the other new members on campus were still being called pledges.

Like most others here, I think it would be a mistake for NPC to do away with the Big/Lil programs. While my Big's "responsibilities" ended upon my initiation, we're still extremely close. And, while I realize we might have developed this close bond without the Big/Lil program, it certainly helped start that bonding process. It would be a shame for that aspect of sisterhood to be lost.

I don't think Big/Lil is going anywhere, but chapters and Greek systems need to enforce the spending caps so more women will take on the opportunity to sponsor a new member.

As explained by the ADPis on here, Diamond sisters are supposed to NOT be the same as a traditional big/little relationship (theoretically).

And as for SK, they have about 3 different names, all of which are different kinds of relationships. ASA has a "Ruby Sister." She's NOT a big - it's a totally different thing.

I have no problem with calling things different names, if they are different things.

I would assume that heart, violet, and dove sisters are essentially the same, just that NMs would get them at different times during their NM period.

I for one would be horrified if the Big/Little system were eliminated from DSP or any Greek organization for that matter (and no, there's been not even a sniff of that anywhere in DSP).

Not only is Big Bro Night one of the best nights of pledging as others have indicated, but by placing a strong emphasis on lineage like our chapter does, you have a greater sense of connection with both the actives and the alumni.

I'm extremely proud of my lineage and I talk to my big brother and grandfather (as we call two generations before us) often and lineage is something I intend to strongly stress with the little bro I have this semester.

Many sororities are discouraging of the whole lineage bit, though, as a way to discourage cliquish behavior and excluding others.

I don't think that will ever go away, though. When you're Greek, you just want to be "related" to everyone: Big/Lil, Grandbig, Adopted Lil, Flower Sister, Diamond Dyad, Twin, Panhellenic Sis, Fraternity Big, etc...