What's happening to boys? Young men living at home.
 

:(

It's interesting; in my own circle of friends (from high school and college), there were quite a few who ended up back at their parents. It wasn't a high percentage (probably around 10%), but higher than I thought it would be. I didn't realize there was actual research being done on the subject.

This is quite the norm in Canada - at least in the major cities. Not so much moving back home, but actually living at home until your mid to late twenties. Both males and females. Maybe in Vancouver it has something to do with the fact that the average price of a home is roughly $500,000...

I think in places like Vancouver and Toronto, you have lots of "kids" who are first generation Canadians. In more traditional cultures, one usually lives at home until marriage. Since people in cities marry later in life, they're going to live at home longer!

I know a lot of people who went back home after graduation. For most of them, however, it was their desire to stay close to home and their families. They would major in engineering/biology/etc., but arn't able to find jobs in W.Va. So they go to the mines or the chemical factories, and never leave. Also, a lot of people just arn't able to afford moving out on their own. I'm going to have about $40,000 in loans when I graduate (add $100,000 if I go to law school), and while I have no deisre to go back home, I may have no other choice.

I should also mention my older sister, who majored in art, moved back home because she couldn't find a job, and now works for a call center. She's really hoping to get a job at A.C. Moore. My parents are rather upset with spending money to send her to school for five years, only to have her make minimum wage.

I think cultural differences probably do play a part in why kids are living at home longer. I really do agree with bcdphie that the cost of living in cities like Vancouver and Toronto make it extremly hard for them to live on their own.

I'll admit, I'm currently living at home with my parents. I am in school full time (graduating in April), and I'm 25. There was no way in hell that I could afford to pay for school and live in Toronto on my own. It's just too expensive here.

Now I have a job starting in may and with any luck I should be able to move out in the fall. However, I'll be moving in with my boyfriend because on the salary I'll be making it would be too much of a stuggle to do it on my own.

Granted, there are people that are living on minimum wage here and are mananging to put a roof over their head and food in their stomachs, but I would venture to guess that most of them are doing with the help of some kind of social assistance, whether it be that they are living in Ontario Housing or using the food bank to get food. But it's not much of a life. Even students in this city have to use the food bank because they can't always afford to feed themselves.

The problem started a long time again when everyone would complain when a man would show tough love in raising his son. We are now in an era of the Pu***fication of men, thanks to a lot of women and state agencies we have succeeded in turning men into full blown punks.

You guys should watch a movie called Baby Boy.

-Rudey

Yes. Those damn women are always to blame. :rolleyes: Perhaps, men should take responsibility for themselves and stop making excuses for the ones who act like losers... Or, even better, men could stop blaming women for the troubles in the world.

I think I would kill myself if after spending four years in college and getting a degree my only choice was to move back home.

I love my parents, but there is no way I want to be dependant on them after I should already be grown up and on my own. I don't see how anyone-employeers, girlfriends, friends, etc can take someone seriously if they live at home with their parents without dire circumstances.

Is it part of the Me Generation or is the Economy just so bad?

Hell, if You live under parents roof, You are still their little one and treat You like it!

Yeah, I feel the same way.

I think it comes down to traditional vs. non-traditional upbringings. The guys I grew up with--none of this would happen. They were all taught from an early age how to provide for a family. When I got to college, I was really disappointed by all the wimpy guys I came across. Now they're all doing things like being trapeze artists or baristas. They suck.

Oh.My.Freakin.God.

Rudey - I've seen this movie, and not by choice either. I saw it on my last deployment before I got out of the servie, and there was a TV in my office that all my coworkers would use in their offtime. There was this one guy who watched that movie I swear twice a week - he thought it was the COOLEST movie ever because it had snoop dogg and tyrese in it. whatever. The movie was about absolute trash.

Not only is it SAD to live at home with mom and dad, but it's PATHETIC to have several "babies mamas" out there, and refusing to get on with your life.

I lived at home with mom and dad for 8 months after getting out of the service. That was about 7 months longer than I wanted to.

I don't give a rat's ass whether people live at home with their parents. How is it any of my business?

I would say co-sign, but I don't want anyone to get mad at me.

Yeah, I think it's weird to be a grown ass man (or woman) and not wanting to have any financial independence, but some of the guys mentioned in the article did have jobs and paid bills...I guess they were saving up for bigger and better things.

As for the bartender in the article, I fully agree with him. Being married, having kids, getting the corner office, and owning a house with a white picket fence doesn't complete everyone. While those things may provide you stability, it probably will compromise your freedom and fun. It should be up to the individual to choose which one is more important.

Personally, I wouldn't want a guy who has no money. But if he does, I would not care if he lived with his folks or bartended for a living. Now hopefully he has goals to move out and start his own business, eventually.

If I was involved with someone who was living at home, I would be concerned about the reasons why and how that might impact our having an adult relationship. As for Joe Blow down the block, I don't care.

I don't see much of a difference between living at home and living with roomates. Each situation is about financial dependancy and in neither situation can you claim to be fully indepenant.

So if you have cool parents why not live at home rather than with roomates?

And don't come after me, my parents died when i was young so this wasn't/isn't an option.

Also, by the same token, wouldn't it be pathetic to receive financial help from your parents?

ETA: Like you are living on your own but your parents chip on for your car, car insurance or housing.

Financial independance is relative.

I think it's an interesting sociological phenomenon rather than caring about a specific individual who is living at home with their parents. It's a general trend of avoiding adult responsibility which may have an effect on our society as a whole down the road. I'm curious too about the effects it could have on the economy (housing markets, car sales, other sales) if the trend were to continue and even grow. Also, if young people don't enter the workforce until later, how does that end up effecting their retirement savings/options in 30, 40, 50 years?

James: There is a different level of responsibility if you're living with roommates than there is when you're living at home. With roommates, you still have bills to deal with, household work to do, and far more responsibility than some of these "kids" they are talking about in the article who live at home, won't look for a career type job and do nothing but play video games. It's like a Peter Pan syndrome (I'll never grow up). Much of seems to be really permissive parents (big surprise) and a total lack of a work ethic.

At what age do people think it becomes "weird"? I can say that my ex-husband was sort of one of those guys. He stayed at home and went to a commuter university. After he got his first job as an accountant, he stayed home. He was working and going to grad school and not having to pay hardly any bills or do any housework. It ended being a total nightmare for me because, when we got married, he had to learn how to budget, how to cook, how to clean, do laundry, etc. He was totally clueless about all of it and he was 30 years old. It is probably 40% of the reason that we ended up divorced. At least he was working in his career and working on his MBA. He'll probably be a much better husband if/when he remarries, because he's so much more independent now than he was when we marrried.

I'd say that it's weird when one reaches their 30s. Also, many of these guys (and gals) have been away at school, and probably didn't live in dorms their entire four years. They've probably experienced having responsibility.

A specific age...After 25.

What if they're still in school at 25 (e.g. med school, law school)?

You know, I'm 25, and this time last year, I moved out on my own - no roomates. And sometimes - it sucks to make ends meet. Sometimes (not often) I DO wish I were back home with mom and dad. But the way I look at it is now is mom and dads time to do their own thing and not have to worry about the kids being around all the time. My folks help me in those rare extreme circumstances, and I'm willing to bet that they would rather help me out once in a blue moon than for me to give up and say "the hell with responsibility, mom and dad, I'm moving back in."

Anyone over 35 who has roommates at a place they do not own is not long-term relationship material. There comes a time where one has to grow a pair and grow the %$@# up.

I have to admit when I moved to the States I was surprised to see all these young people moving out of their parents houses and living on their own (my folks, sister and I lived with my grandparents in our apartment till I was around 5 or so). What it boiled down to was I couldn't understand how people had the money to afford living on their own. Then I realized that most still got helped out by their parents, even if they were 25 and up living by themselves.

Someone I know was still living at home well after college when I met him(he was 28) and never experienced living out as he commuted to college. He's now 35 and still living at home. Granted he has a job, but he didn't contribute to the household at all until his dad had a stroke about 3 years ago. Didn't even know how to cook or do anything other than prepare Kool-aid.

Seems sad to me, and not sad boo-hoo...sad pathetic.

I've got one for ya--my dad lived with his parents until he and my mom married (he was around 25, I think) but insisted that they live next door. He spent all his free time at his parents' house, not his own house. After he and my mom divorced, he moved back in with his parents and stayed there until they passed away. I was in high school then. :o Now he's built himself a house and is independent, thank goodness, but wow...it only took him until he was almost 50!

I lived with my parents for about a year after I graduated from undergrad because of unfortunate circumstances (e.g. health problems), but it wasn't ideal. Now that I've been living on my own for a couple years, I can't imagine going back. My friends in the U.K., on the other hand, live/lived with their folks for a long, long time after college. It's normal, from what I gather. The kids have jobs and contribute to the bills and stuff, and they pretty much come and go as they please.

I know a couple that got married last year, I think they were probably around 27. Both had college degrees, the husband had a law degree was was making good money at a fairly sizeable firm here in Pittsburgh. Neither of them had ever lived anywhere on their own. They lived at home until the day they got married (they bought a house), and their parents did EVERYTHING for them and paid for everything. They got married a little less than a year ago, and they've had a lot of problems, because neither of them knows how to do anything on their own.

It's one thing if you (or a family member) has health problems or there is some sort of special circumstance. But when everyone is healthy, ablebodied and not in financial ruin.... GET A LIFE!

Oh... this is so relative.

I mean, in many places it's common to live with you parents (or one parent) until they die right? So really it depends on cultural practices and finances. I have to say, since I'm in school I would consider living with my parents if either lived close to me. Saving $700 a month? Crazy good.

Absolutely.

I think some people will curl up in fetal position if they went to a commuter school where this sort of thing is common.

Hmmmm....that sounds a lot like my folks. They moved out once they got married, at age 27. Both were working. But, their parents DID not do everything, all they did was provide a roof. They will be celebrating their 26th wedding anniversary this summer. You have to judge people case by case.

Whatever. If you have an additional 600-1000 dollars on your hands, you could probably afford to have a life more than someone cleaning out their wallets to pay rent. Even if you're not the type who's always out doing things, people can save that money to pay for a house, start their own business, or pay back student loans.

home-owner at 26 and been living on my own since grad school. had roomates in undergrad.