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TheEpitome1920 03-24-2005 01:18 PM

Your Crush and His Ex
 
Would you date or pursue someone who still lived with his kid's mom? Even if they had seperate rooms and were only living together because of their young child?

btb87 03-24-2005 01:55 PM

Re: Your Crush and His Ex
 
Quote:

Originally posted by TheEpitome1920
Would you date or pursue someone who still lived with his kid's mom? Even if they had seperate rooms and were only living together because of their young child?
How can you be sure that he's in a separate room? And if he has no intentions of marrying her, then why isn't he in his own place (or at least have a different roomie elsewhere)?

nikki1920 03-24-2005 03:48 PM

No. Too fishy.

Gyrl7 03-24-2005 03:55 PM

Re: Re: Your Crush and His Ex
 
Quote:

Originally posted by btb87
How can you be sure that he's in a separate room? And if he has no intentions of marrying her, then why isn't he in his own place (or at least have a different roomie elsewhere)?
And for that matter how do you know that is really his ex??? It could be one of those new age couples who love open relationships, but don't tell many people because many people are not so accepting of them. Sure you have a "crush" on him, but that ex is the only thing standing in the way of your happiness. NOT!

Some people will say that same old tired line, I'm only with her/him because of my child. When in fact it's because of their own selfishness. No one is happy, yet no one will leave. If one is that concerned, they would "for the sake of their child" separate for a minute and not let the child continue to see them unhappy and or sleeping in separate bedrooms. Most kids know how to play "house" and most kids know that in the game of house mommy and daddy sleep together. In short that "for the sake of the kid" is tired and played.

In answer to your question though, heel naw:mad: I wouldn't date them. If they had their own place as btb said, yes I would. Even if they had to move back in with MAMA for a minute until they found their own spot yes I still would. However, that would be my only exception.

_Opi_ 03-24-2005 04:00 PM

If they were truly living together for the child, they would get married.

So no, I wouldn't try to get into a complicated relationship like that.

TRUBLUBU2 03-25-2005 08:44 PM

um....nope!
 
imho, something isn't right with this situation, and only one person's viewpoint has been presented.

soror, trust me: if a man *really* no longer wants ANYTHING to do with his former lover, he will do EVERYTHING within his power to not be in her presence...

hopefully i'm wrong, but it sounds like this dude is just trying to get others caught up in his web of lies...

SummerChild 03-25-2005 10:02 PM

Re: Your Crush and His Ex
 
Come on now Epitome.

SC

Quote:

Originally posted by TheEpitome1920
Would you date or pursue someone who still lived with his kid's mom? Even if they had seperate rooms and were only living together because of their young child?

TheEpitome1920 03-27-2005 10:58 PM

Re: Re: Your Crush and His Ex
 
Quote:

Originally posted by SummerChild
Come on now Epitome.

SC

Whaaaat? lol. It was just a question to get ya'lls opinion.

BlueReign 03-29-2005 05:00 PM

Hell no, I wouldn't.

This is why I don't like to get seriously involved with men who have children. :rolleyes: Somehow, they think (or rather are allowed) to have their cake and eat it too.

Glamour Poodle 03-29-2005 06:25 PM

If it was the other way around no brother I know of who is seriously into a woman would ever go for something like that.
Heck, I do not know too many women with the guts to even say such a thing to a man she is seeing.

It just never ceases to amaze me the types of things that some women will consider going for when their feelings are envolved.:o
I say this because I personally know of women who have gone along with a simular version of this senario.:mad:

DC_Zeta1920 04-01-2005 10:59 AM

Re: Your Crush and His Ex
 
Quote:

Originally posted by TheEpitome1920
Would you date or pursue someone who still lived with his kid's mom? Even if they had seperate rooms and were only living together because of their young child?
If you have to question it....it should automatically signal NO soror :)

elldawg 04-01-2005 12:53 PM

Hell Naw!
 
My knee-jerk reaction is that is a bad idea. Having said that, if you approach the relationship cautiously, it might work out okay.

AchtungBaby80 04-01-2005 12:57 PM

Re: um....nope!
 
Quote:

Originally posted by TRUBLUBU2
soror, trust me: if a man *really* no longer wants ANYTHING to do with his former lover, he will do EVERYTHING within his power to not be in her presence...
I tend to agree with this, in light of an experience I had with a guy whose ex was still a big part of his life (i.e. they talked regularly, saw each other, etc.) even though he never said a word about it to me and pretended that it wasn't going on. The whole time we were dating I just wondered about it...and I'm so glad I'm not with him because I hated the wondering.

SummerChild 04-01-2005 02:46 PM

Re: Re: Re: Your Crush and His Ex
 
LOL. Whew! Thank goodness. :)
Yes, I guess that we are in Black Metropolis. Although what is interesting is that I think that although there are more AA here than anywhere in the country, in some parts of the country, we do a little better as a group in terms of numbers of professionals, mobility, the work environment. It's interesting.


SC

Quote:

Originally posted by TheEpitome1920
Whaaaat? lol. It was just a question to get ya'lls opinion.

TheEpitome1920 04-01-2005 04:18 PM

Re: Re: Re: Re: Your Crush and His Ex
 
Quote:

Originally posted by SummerChild
LOL. Whew! Thank goodness. :)
Yes, I guess that we are in Black Metropolis. Although what is interesting is that I think that although there are more AA here than anywhere in the country, in some parts of the country, we do a little better as a group in terms of numbers of professionals, mobility, the work environment. It's interesting.


SC

I'm going to my 1st First Friday's tonight. I hope that rings true,lol.

Strive 04-02-2005 10:24 PM

heck naw

Shortfuse 04-05-2005 09:45 AM

Re: Your Crush and His Ex
 
Quote:

Originally posted by TheEpitome1920
Would you date or pursue someone who still lived with his kid's mom? Even if they had seperate rooms and were only living together because of their young child?
As a man, living with my baby momma. Trust, I'm still knocking boots. At least I'm getting domed up. If a man tells you that he's not, call him a liar.

Shortfuse 04-05-2005 09:46 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by BlueReign
Hell no, I wouldn't.

This is why I don't like to get seriously involved with men who have children. :rolleyes: Somehow, they think (or rather are allowed) to have their cake and eat it too.

Women are like that too. And that is why I'm not serious about women who have children. Unless her baby daddy is either

1. Dead
2. Gay
3. In jail for the rest of his life
4. Dating a hot chick.

Glamour Poodle 04-05-2005 10:40 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Shortfuse
Women are like that too. And that is why I'm not serious about women who have children. Unless her baby daddy is either

1. Dead
2. Gay
3. In jail for the rest of his life
4. Dating a hot chick.

1. Dead
3. In jail for the rest of his life
:eek: :eek:
These two are just cold blooded!:o

Shortfuse 04-05-2005 10:44 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Glamour Poodle
1. Dead
3. In jail for the rest of his life
:eek: :eek:
These two are just cold blooded!:o

Just gotta keep it real. I'd be kidding myself if I thought baby daddy wasn't getting some or at least thought he could get some. When visits his little one and there is no way I can keep him out of her life because of the kid. I dated a lady with a child before and it didn't end pretty.

Glamour Poodle 04-05-2005 11:27 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Shortfuse
Just gotta keep it real. I'd be kidding myself if I thought baby daddy wasn't getting some or at least thought he could get some. When visits his little one and there is no way I can keep him out of her life because of the kid. I dated a lady with a child before and it didn't end pretty.
Oh, I know you tellin the truth! That is why what you said was soo cold blooded.:cool:

You are the first man that I have seen actually admit that they really think like this when it comes to dating women with kids. I would much rather a man tell me straight up how he feels about me having a kid instead of acting like everything is cool, only to have him act an ass later on.:rolleyes:

Shortfuse 04-05-2005 03:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Glamour Poodle
Oh, I know you tellin the truth! That is why what you said was soo cold blooded.:cool:

You are the first man that I have seen actually admit that they really think like this when it comes to dating women with kids. I would much rather a man tell me straight up how he feels about me having a kid instead of acting like everything is cool, only to have him act an ass later on.:rolleyes:

I always try to keep it real. Now I won't say that I can't fall for a chick with a kid but, she has to be something special. I'm not down for the drama and I'd hate to slap a dude in front of his little one because, we all know that guys be trying to play the role.


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