GC's 1001st Race Discussion
 

Watching last Tuesday's Real World got me thinking...

Black, White, Asian, Hispanic....

If you had a friend of a different race who said something subtly racist or fails to understand your culture or struggles...would you ditch him/her? I'm sure this has happened to all of us before, more than once. What did you do in the past?

I've never had a friend who made subtle racist remarks to my race..yet. However, I do encounter people who feel that evertime they make references to Africa, its got to be about the animals or remote tribal people, as if there is no such thing as civilization in Africa. My typical response is "we have cities too, you know".


In any case, if I did have a friend who was still persistant on their views, I would simply part ways with them. It's really that simple.


I watched that episode of Real World and I was like :eek: @MJ. It was like an inner part of him didn't want to accept that African-Americans ARE treated differently ......

Honestly, if someone of another race says something disparaging about white people, it probably wouldn't bother me very much -- if she wasn't saying it to be a complete ass. I wouldn't necessarily expect someone to understand my culture, and, let's be honest, as a white person I really don't have any struggles because of my race and I'm perfectly willing to admit that. I can understand that there are people of other races who have been treated like crap by white people -- and although I'm not one of the white people treating others like crap, I could certainly understand someone's frustration.

How about the people that "fetishisize" another race?

-Rudey

That creeps me out. I know a lot of people at W&L that do that. I find it to be patronizing and insulting.

Anyone who I consider a friend knows how I feel about race and would not make such comments around me. But if on a crazy day something slipped out we would engage in serious conversation.

The only thing I can think of that might be remotely applicable happened when I and a (non Christian) friend who lived off campus were heading back to her place after class. As we were walking past the third floor landing up toward her apartment, she saw a small New Testament that someone had set on the railing and she knocked it off, sending it down two stories to the first floor.

I was very offended but didn't say anything. I just shot her a look then walked down to the first floor, picked it up and set it on the table in the vestibule. Then I walked back up to where she was standing and we went into her apartment. She looked sheepish and said she was sorry and that was the last we ever discussed the incident so as far as I'm concerned it's nothing to stew about.

That was such a huge thing for my ex boyfriend's friends back when he was at his Ivy League college and I thought it was obnoxious. These supposedly intelligent men were walking around talking about scoring with "Hot (insert nationality here) Chicks" like they were Beavis and Butthead :rolleyes:

My guess is that they were from small towns and had never had much contact with people who were different than they were, but I still found their behavior childish.

Outside of Texas I often hear people refer to hispanics as "mexicans". It always throws me for a loop, becasue not all hispanics are mexicans and you would never make a statement in Texas like I heard in Indy, "So we got to Denver early and decided to hit up this hole in the wall bar and got really piss-drunk with these mexicans that were just hanging out in there."

Wow.

Also, why identify by race? I hate that chit. If its not relevant, leave it out.

What happens with my family (everyone is either mixed, Asian, or Hispanic) is that people forget that we're not lily white because most of the people around us are--and they'll make some crack and then remember. Then they spend the next month apologizing. I hate that.:(

Of course, there are also people who walk right up and say rude things. My husband is a deacon at church and the church also has a Latino ministry. Last Christmas, this elderly woman walked up to him as he stood with my Guatemalan daughter and me and said, "Here's my Christmas offering. It's not going to any Mexicans, is it?"

Same here.

Re: GC's 1001st Race Discussion
 

Honestly, I'm more likely to ditch them than have a conversation about it. I am not obligated to educate someone where their parents failed.

I'm getting too old to take the time out to do such things.....nowadays, everyone I consider a real friend has passed the culture test, so I don't have these types of scenarios like I did in college.

This isn't a friend, but last year, when I was a new member of the Junior League, I was introduced to an elderly sustainer (sustainers are women over a certain age and have been in the League for ages and ages) by a friend of mine. The friend said that I played tennis at such and such a club, and told me that the sustainer was a member of that club as well. The sustainer just looked at me strangely, as if she was kind of shocked (or at least it felt like it). Weird, since there have been Asian members since the mid 80s or so.

ETA: If I made the JL sound like a racist organization, then I apologize. It was this specific person who was like this, and I guess it's all due to exposure. The person I was introduced to is probably in her 80s and didn't have same experiences younger people might have had.

When I was 18, I moved into a townhouse with two friends, Alex and Scott. Scott had a fraternity brother, Cliff, who lived in our complex. The four of us were hanging out soon after I moved in. We were talking, and Cliff decided to change the topic to that of groups of people the he hates. "I hate niggers, I hate chincs, I hate kykes," Cliff boasted, at which time I interupted and said, "I'm Jewish." He kept on rolling as if he didn't hear me and said, "I hate spics," at which time Alex said, "I'm hispanic." Alex wasn't technically hispanic, but he is Spanish, by way of Cuba, and he was also offended.

Anyway, I actually became friendly with Cliff, but on my terms. I wasn't going to hide who I was, and he was going to have to change for us to get along. My attitude was that he felt the way that he did because he lived a life that was isolated from these groups of people. I was going to be the one Jew that showed him that we are human.

A year later, Alex and I joined Phi Psi. We didn't join the "top" fraternity that Cliff and Scott belonged to, even though we could.

Robbie, my friend from work who happens to be black, said "...and I'll tell you who else doesn't tip, black people. We just don't. There's no explaining it."

Anyone who was looking for anything insightful from me is pretty disappointed. Unless you work at a restaurant.

I agree.

Re: Re: GC's 1001st Race Discussion
 

Co-sign. I tried educating peopl my freshman year, but doing that ish will give ya gray hairs. :rolleyes: So I don't have the time for people who are okay with their ignorance.

I'm glad you said this, my husband and I were talking about it the other day. We've lived in Germany for the last three years, and have come across people in our travels of all different types of people! We were saying how ONLY people in the US are picky about their label. For example, there's this awesome Chinese buffet right next to the base that we frequent. The owner is obviosly Asian, however, he was born and raised in Germany. He doesn't consider himself 'Asian German'...he's GERMAN. The same with a guy we met at our hotel in London. He's black, but he's ENGLISH, not 'African-English'.

My husband has encountered the same thing. He's Hispanic, and people are always asking him 'What are you?' or 'Where are you from?' He affirms that he's AMERICAN...not Mexican American. If you get him on a bad day though, you'll have to hear how his grandfather was in South Texas when it was still Mexico. That's a whole other story though.

I don't care for labels either, but I wonder how my 'mixed' son will be perceived when he gets older.

aj

I know what ya'll mean. The problem is that the government put these labels on us. I have met many people from Jamacia, Haiti, etc. that don't like being lumped into the category "African American" only because the color of their skin is like that of actual African Americans. People from places like Jamacia have a completely different culture than we do.

K....

It depends on the friend and what s/he said. Since none of us are immune to being ignorant, I will let one or two slightly ignorant things slide. I've said many ignorant things myself and didn't know better until someone called me out on it. If someone is that racist, I doubt that they will seek friendship with me in the first place. It also depends on how much I like that friend. I guess I have pretty much the same attitude as PhiPsiRuss.