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Open Letter V
let me preface this by saying: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:
to the person who hit my car: why, when we were the only ones on the road and the light was red, would you slam into the back of my precious car???? the light was red, my brake lights are red...RED MEANS STOP!!!! and if you are going to go around running into people's car, HAVE INSURANCE!!!!!!! and, if you're going to be driving, HAVE A LICENSE!!!!! stupid mofo!!!!!!!!! to the police officer who was dispatched: WHY DID YOU TAKE SO LONG GETTING THERE???? to the officers who got there before: eff yall!!!!!! how you gone act like you can't assist me?? how you gone get mad because we called for some other officers. you dummies straight up told me that you were going to go talk to the people inside the store that was closed about a drunk man hanging out there that wasn't!! then get mad when we call for another officer!! then act like my precious car getting hit aint a big deal!! then act like you don't want to do a police report!!! tell DPD get ready for my complaint again, to the officer who was dispatched: how dare you come on the scene yelling at me?? punk, i'm a grown woman, and aside from that, i'm the QUEEN OF CRUNK!! i aint scared of you!!! as you could tell, i can yell with the best of 'em!! how dare you tell me it's a civil matter when a person with no insurance and no driver's license runs into the back of my car!! and the way you were acting made things turn real uncivil real quick. and i don't care about what YOU thought you WASN'T gone do, bet i got my police report outta yo' punk azz! to my insurance company: thank yall for handling this matter so quickly. but please, let us not have any drama. i don't want to have to go holla at the gecko to my parents: i love yall so much, but why don't we we have the uninsured motorist and the rental car clause on our policy??? ESPECIALLY living where we live, we need that uninsured motorist clause!! to russell & smith honda: i told yall punks you wouldn't get another dime outta me after you screwed me out a $100 referral. you better be glad my parents will pay the deductible and you better be glad you're part of my insurance company's blue ribbon program!! to CT4: girl, it was shol' hard to respect the forum rules on profanity. i wanted to write soooo many curse words, but i refrained from typing them--i just yelled them out instead!! i'm sure my neighbors are wondering who i'm talking to. lol |
TO MY JOB: Why in the world do you INSIST on sending me out of town every freakin' week? I feel like my life is traveling, living in hotels and airplanes. Find another freakin trainer to give me less work man!!
TO ALL OF THE PLACES WHERE I HAVE SUBMITTED RESUMES: uh..can one of you please call me back for an interview and hire me for the love of God???!!!!! TO BUDDY THAT WAS STANDING NEXT TO ME AT THE BAGGAGE CAROUSEL TONITE AT THE AIRPORT: Mr., it is JULY!! I am gonna need you NOT to have on that black leather bomber coat, pimpin'!!!!! You made me sweat just looking at you!!! Respectfully Sumitted: LostNFound |
TO my place of employment: See, I thought it was just me that you had a problem with and that's why I got a crappy review. Nope, appearently you have problems with EVERYBODY and so everybody got crappy reviews. What's up with that? Are we having money problems, is that why nobody got any raises? Then you act like you're surprised when people call in. You know what's the deal. You might as well start advertising, because I feel a lot of us are going to be there much longer
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To my Husband: Thank you for making our annivarsary so special!!! I love you:D !!!!
To Hector: I told you not to get married....how are you going to say that you're tired of your wife and you want to end the marriage??? Can we say stupid:mad: !!! To my Step-Father: When mommy finds out about your little side thang...its going to be trouble, trouble, trouble!!!!! |
Re: Open Letter V
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To MeezDiscreet: BWAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH @ you and respecting the rules but THANK YOU. To Everyone: I just got back from a aFAB U LOUS weekend in NYC and am dog tired so any PM replies won't happen today. I will scan each thread now but I am dog tired. I had a flight back home that left 3 hours later than it was supposed to. More later. :D |
To Usher: Everytime I see the "Confessions pt 2 video, I have to wonder to myself, why do you have to do the confessing with your shirt off? I understand the concept of the video but am totally clueless as to why it requires you to have your shirt off. See if you would have kept your shirt on in the first place, you wouldn't have to do any confessing:o :) ;)
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TO CHRISTINA MILLIAN: Ok , I was just asleep and left the tv on. I could hear your song/video in my sleep. At first in my grogginess, I thought it was Beyonce', and I was sort of sad. Then, I saw it was you. Excuse my french, but how can you teach me to "Pop That Thang" when you got to be all of about 17 or 18? You look a hot mess chile, rollng around in that black paint!!!!
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Alright Stacy the other day when I asked to borrow a pencil I guess I should have thought twice about it. Now I apologized for not having that pencil yesterday when you came to my desk and asked me about it for the sixth doggone time. Now today that was just straight outtaline. You didn't have to come at me like that ova that pencil. Do you know how much stuff gets pilfered in offices? Who knows who came and took that pencil off my desk. But your tone is so unneccessary. Now I know you think this intern is all quiet and punkable but let me tell you one thang: You got life messed up if you think you finna be tawkin to me like you ain't got a lick of sense. I ain't in the biness of disrespectin grown folks, but I ain't in the biness of gettin disrespected eitha. So don't think fo a second I won't cuss you out in a hushed tone then skull drag you in that gravel in the front of this building if need be. Big Mama Nonfiction is comin to town today and I will be notifyin her of this lil incident so if you won't some of her since yall the same age I'm pretty sure she will oblige. And anotha thang I AIN'T buyin you no otha pencil. You bedda suck it up, Miss 3 dolla pencil. Wit ya yella tooth in the front.
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to my boss: damn, why are u 1. fine as hell, 2. married with a kid? cause sadly that makes u more attractive. if it wasnt for social constructs, it would be a wrap! p.s. it is no easier with my desk next to yours! to my sister: you are only 16, why is your body like 26? my little girl is putting guys in jail for just lookin at her :( to my auntie shannon: can't wait for yall to get up here! you and uncle harold are my idols, and havent seen yall in two years! to the gov't: why do u insist on taking so much taxes out? i mean really. to drugstores: why do "feminine hygiene" products need to be so expensive? i do find them a necessity, you know. its not like cigarettes. to shakeena: you aint right. dont judge a book by where they live. to timica: why you havent called any1? how u gon go to italy and come back, then not call any1 to let them know u alive and well? i thought we was cool. |
To the lil Bebe's kids that keep running across my mamas lawn: If i see another bike wheel track through my mama's grass and/or garden. imma have to whoop some azz:mad:
To that FYNE man i don seent the otha day: Hey Boo! I noticed you noticing me so i just wanted to put you on noticed that I noticed you too!;) Greekchat: I might get in trouble for saying this...but i like this waaaay better than Greekpeeps.:rolleyes: To my Sands: I miss yall soooo much! Ill be home in like a week. i promise! and my Red Kool-Aid betta still be there!:p to my sorors Can't wait to see u in Vegas!:cool: |
To the fool in the minivan with Alberta licence plates driving on I-5 IN THE LEFT LANE:
Yo, once you cross the border from Canada, you are in Washington State, on that segment of I-5 the speed limit is 70! If you want to drive 55, get your slow behind in the RIGHT lane! You got some nerve giving folx a dirty look after they flip you the bird! :rolleyes: |
To the heffa from Kamloops, BC who brought down a few thousand dollars went to the casino and lost it all:
1. When you go get your gamble on, put some money aside. Some to gamble some to save. 2. Don't be having no money and taking a cab to the nearest place that had Western Union (which was the place I worked in)and then get an attitude when the cab driver is telling you the meter is running! 3. Don't be screaming at your husband, demanding to send you money! I woulda hung up on you! 4. The store closes at 11pm. I ain't got time to wait for your money to get there! While I am doing my paperwork, don't ask me every 5 seconds to check to see if the transfer has arrived. I got work to do and I am doing your sorry butt a favor! :mad: 5. Don't say it is your fault: failure to prepare on your part does not constitute and emergency on mine! 6. Don't ask me to take you across the border. I ain't taking anyone I don't know across the border. I don't know what you are carrying 7. To the friend that was with her: why didn't YOU have the sense to put some of your money aside? Looking all pitiful. She got you into this mess! 8. Don't ask me if you can come to my house and stay with me overnight. I don't know you! Yes this happened last weekend, no joke! |
Previous letter continued...
To the fool husband of this woman:
A fool and his money are my kind of date! HC you sent her $870 US? I was glad that I wasn't there when she came to get it! HC she went right back to the casino and lost every penny of it? HC you called my work "looking for the woman who lives in Canada"? HC you asked my coworker who answered the phone (thank you Matt, MWAH!): "can she take my wife to Vancouver? My wife lost the money I sent her" You got some nerve! :rolleyes: HC when I got off the phone, Matt was giving me the "shut up" signal? HC when Matt got off the phone he sat there and laughed his azz off and relayed what you said to me? HC Matt told you that I was not working that night? HC we laughed till we cried? I hope you left her sorry butt there at the Lummi Indian Casino! |
To Matt:
Thanks for the teamwork, helping me take calls when the phone was ringing off the hook! Thanks for telling that fool that I was working! |
To Cornell University: the research is great, but this city sucks! at least the pay is great.
To my physics department chair: you set me up with this internship in the boonies now i'm bored as hell!!!! i know you did it on purpose. To my mommy: sorry i call you 20 times a day...everyday To everyone else: have a great day |
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For the love of ALL things HOLY call a sistah for an interview!!! |
To the stupid booch who cut my hair Monday:
I told you I've always worn my hair a certain length. I told you to keep it below the shoulders and just cut a few layers into my bob. I told you that I was in the military and needed to keep my hair a certain length, so I could pull it back when necessary. So why, why did your stupid azz completly butcher my hair.? I HAVE NO HAIR ON THE SIDES. You didn't cut one single layer. You gave me a mullet...and for that there is a special place in hell for you. I have never had hair so short, what were you thinking? I showed you a picture, and you had me walking out of there looking like a total fool. I have never cried so hard in public. Now I have to fly home with the stank azz cut, and pay someone to cut it completely off so I can start over. You call yourself professional? Please believe you will hear from me again, and I will get every cent of my money back. I don't care if you relaxed it. I did not come into that shop to leave looking like black trailer trash. You will pay me. HEFFA! |
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To B- why is it that you seem to have some supernatural kind of hold on me? Everytime I think i'm over you, the feelings just come back like a frieght train going 60 on a rickety train track. For eight years now we've done this, and the situation goes in circles. I thought that me being in school thousands of miles away would help, but it seems as if that makes it worse. You're everything I never wanted, yet somehow, all of my rules don't apply to you. When I am around you, the world seems to dissapear into the clouds. It's hard for me to think of you actually having a girlfirend especially not the one you have now. But If she is what makes you happy, the I must learn as the Dixie Chicks say" how long to stay and when to go", and to let you "fly". Hey, I guess when we grow up, we have to leave some things behind.
But Like My New Signature says" I WILL LET IT GO!" (or at least try) |
dang grits i thought i was the only one. it sucks doesn't it.
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Dear YOU,
How you gonna send me an urgent email and then not respond to my response! YOUUUU suck! :p Sincerely, Me P.S. I'm gonna give him yo number! |
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It ain't come yet. Outlook is low key janky. Peep my random spurts. |
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I do not like your remixed song, that's my confession to you. I do not like your email carrier, you need to effin' sue. Sincerely, Dr. SavvySuess |
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Dear Dr. SavvySeuss, I am over here at WORK on MY LUNCH HOUR SCREAMING!!! My coworker just staring at me as I sit here CTFU. Best regards, Ms. Seana Combs |
LOL :D Blame it on the lack of sleep.
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Dear Dr. Savvy Seuss,
The e-mail still has not arrived. Are you trying to shuck and jive? Make sure you hit send, My Outlook is not on the mend. Rhymingly yours, Seana Combs |
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Your email service is shot to hell, I must inform you so. I sent this message to your work acct. about 2 hours ago. I hit send, and I am sure, I'm not into shuck and jive... I forwarded it again, please check it now...and...um...keep hope alive. :p Lyrically speaking (;) Tony) Dr. SavvySeuss |
to aunt shannon, uncle harold and the rest: why yall leave so early? i wish i couldve taken off work so i couldve hung with yall. i looked so forward to seeing yall coming up here, wanted to hear about SC, your old days at SCSU, about uncle harold's job (i still dont know what he does!), about mika and ciara...and yall left me! :(
to my vocabuary: why do i keep using the word yall? to my boss: can i tell you how hard it is to keep a straight face when we talk? and thanks for the great work evaluation...im glad you think im a "4!" speaking of, we only have 4 weeks left... to myself:girl, you are the stuff! got a "gud job" and everything. and doing well...keep it up! to mama tld221: when did i become our family's Eva? boo hiss :mad: |
To My Sister-in-Law,
I'm ready to fight you!!! You know why, too, you heffa! For the sake of discretion, I edited my post. |
To Miss Mocha: Mail the kids back home. Did you really buy her Pampers? Are they slow? Ummm this is interesting. I need to sit and ponder this for a spell.
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To CT4,
Actually it's the "goodnight" joints. And no, the kids are not slow. They are who they live with, and what they see, hear and feel everyday. They are actually "ok" kids considering... To My niece and nephew, Auntie Mocha loves you guys, in spite of the (much deserved) spankings. I know that you all are innocent victims of circumstance. To have a mother like you all have been given is something that I wouldn't wish on anybody. I pray that you all can rise above your jacked up situation and make lemonade out of rotten lemons. To My sister in law, You bett' not sleep, you wench! To My mother in law, Please, please, please, before all else...GET YOU SOME BUSINESS!!!!! If you are so "concerned", then you a make a way for these kids to get back home. Quit trying to replace your deceased husband with my husband. HE'S MY HUSBAND!!! THE LORD GAVE HIM TO ME!!!! To my husband, I understand family obligations (self imposed or real), but GOOD GOLLY MISS. MOLLY... I love you. Your family is making me nuts. To Myself, Miss. Mocha, you have the power to speak life or death into every situation. Please try to remember to speak life. |
N: I have so much I could say right now, but it's the internet and I shouldn't. Just know...you are the reason why I don't keep a lot of female friends, you can't trust them. I can't believe you'd do what you do and still smile in my face and come to my house and eat up my food...knowing. You think I'm a fool...hmm, maybe for thinking you were worthy of my presence, I am. Never again. SMH
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Dear God,
I pray for Miss Mocha's situation and 1savvy's. Situations that sound all too familiar. Bless them as you have blessed me. Amen:( |
To this bottle of TGIFriday's Marguerita Blenders,
You are oh so tasty, but not quite strong enough to soothe what ails me. Tomorrow, I'm adding some Jose Cuervo to you, and we'll take it from there. To O2bame, Thank you, I need prayer, prayer, and yet...more prayer! |
TO GC:
WE all need some ANGER MANAGEMNET up in here UP IN HERE!!!! ETA: Don't flame me for saying that. Because I'M TIMID! :( |
TO CM: You know the rules, WHY break them EVERYTIME we go somewhere???:mad:
TO Black people in the 'Cuse and surrounding areas: And you wonder why we don't have a club to go to in the city? Last night was a prime example of why clubs continue to close down. TO RC: Yeah, I was mad at what happened last night. And if you were in my shoes, you would have been too. Don't play, I can flip on you at the drop of a time. Try it on me!!:o |
To the heffas in my STATS group: Do ya'll think I'm stupid!!! To C, how dare you call me today and ask me if I would mind changing groups groups with you. Yeah, ya'll must think I'm stupid, but guess what, ya'll messed with the wrong one this time. It's just a group project, I know, but I'm not about to switch groups and work with a bunch of people that don't come to class.... if they don't come to class now, I know they ain't gonna work on some stupid project, I am not getting bamboozled like that!!!! Left doing ALL the work. I may be quiet but don't mistake that for stupidty or as a weakness. Yeah I told you NO, and WHAT? Supposedly ya'll had formed a group, so why did all ya'll sit like a bunch of knot's on a log when the Professor asked had anyone thought about it? Now two weeks later, all of a sudden, ya'll a group? C, I overhead you say the people in the group don't like to come to class and you had to do something about that. I am NOT the one!
To my new job: I am going to give it 7 months, if I don't like it by the end of January I am out!! I will find anything, but I refuse to stay at a company that I hate doing work that I hate. The past 7 years was enough. |
To B: What are you trying to pull? Why did you go running to M and tell her what I said about me hating my job? What purpose does that serve? I was having a bad day when I said it and it's not like you never said it before.
To D and R: Thanks for dropping that little bit a info my way. I will be watching what I say from now on. Don't worry girlies, I'm making plans to blow that pop stand To LSU: I paid you all your money. I PAID YOU ALLL YOUR MONEY!!!!!!!!! I paid you ALLLLLLLLLL your money!! |
to george: so far, you have been the greatest friend, as far as beiing level-headed and a great conversationalist. i can tell that if you were still in school, we wouldve been tight. stay in touch.
to sister's bf: you betta not be tryin stuff with her! she is 2 years younger. and i aint having it! to mama tld221: dont scare me like that. seriously. not cool at all, cryin wolf like that. to the cute guy on the Z train this morning that works at deutsche bank: holla at ya girl! maybe i should be late to work more often (sike!) to anyone: you know what would cheer me up right now? 1. an ipod. 2. walkman or if either are not available, 3. dru hill's first CD. i miss that old joint. to shakenna: what, are you too good to talk to ppl anymore? whats good? |
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