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Soror Convinced, I'm suffering, too!! I am so tired of my friends getting married. Don't get me wrong, I am happy for them, but I'm starting to feel that twinge of jealousy. I want a husband and a family of my own. I think most of us do. Unfortunately, I'm lacking in the boyfriend department, so a husband is out of the question right now, let alone a family. The only good that is coming from this whole situation is that I'm getting to know Ideal a little better. But I'd rather get to know a man!! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif So, no, you're not alone with the lack of a man psychosis! lol http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif
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I will tread lightly,least I get my fingers slapped on this one. But sistas, you sound like wonderfull, dynamic ladies that any man would be proud to call his wife. My thing is when it is ment to happen it will. I know this is easy to say, but it is so true. I have to believe that God will send a man to you when he feels that you are ready to accept him into your life.
Sometimes whe think that we are ready, and we really are not. I recently got out of a long term relationship. Now me and this woman had talked about marriage, and I knew that I was ready to settle down now that I have my career started. But quite honestly, God had other plans, becuase me and her really weren't ready. I say this becuase women are not the only ones who sometimes wonder when will I get called to the big dance. While men don't have biological clocks, we do have watches and we count the years just like women do. I believe that most men want to eventually settle down and have a family. I would always tell my ex that if we didn't make it, that she was going to make it better for my next. I happen to believe that. I have to go back to that scene in Waiting to Exhale, when you have 4 lovely, successul sistas sitting around drinking wine and just chilling. Now those are the kinds of parties I want to go to. You can have the club. I can't wait to have my bros singing the sweetheart song to my wife. I will patiently bide my time until the man upstairs decides that I am ready to accept someone into my life. Peace, Luv, and Good Luck MN [This message has been edited by ManndingoNUPE (edited November 29, 2000).] |
Hello All,
MandingoNupe that was the sweetest post! Ladies he is correct, The right man will come when God feels you are ready. God sent me mine in college. I married my college sweetheart three years ago. And Convinced...girl you're only twenty five! I got married when I was 28! :-) |
That was a sweet post, ManndingoNUPE. And I feel you, I'm trying to wait patiently on God. I'm only 26, but I had in my mind that I would have been married two years ago. I just want to have my children before I'm 30. My parents were a little older when they had me, and now they've both passed on. I want things to be different with me and my kids. And at the same time, I want to be able to spend time with my husband before we have children. But it's only my time that's winding down, not God's time. I guess I have to look at it that way. I do realize now that I wasn't ready to be married at 24. And I'm probably not quite ready now. All I'm asking is can I meet the brotha??? http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif We don't have to get married right now, I just want to meet him! Dang... maybe I already have. On that thought, I'm out.....
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Ladies,
I am a very beautiful http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif, intelligent, 26 year young woman, who is also a bridesmaid, never a bride. But I also believe that God will introduce us to our future mates in his time, not ours. And the same thing goes for children. Stop putting these unrealistic time frames on yourselves (ie. I have to have 2 children by age 30). You know Sarai was way older than that when she became a mother. And think of it this way, Angela Bassett married for the first time at age 40! And you KNOW she's got it going on (ivy league educated, talented, beautiful, killer body, etc). Keep your heads up ladies!!! ------------------ "Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." (Satchel Paige) [This message has been edited by MIDWESTDIVA (edited November 29, 2000).] |
Ideal08,
I just had to post. Having babies before you are 30 is not all it's cracked up to be. I know from experience. Not that motherhood isn't DIVINE!!! It is, but it can DIVINE later in life, too. I had my daughter when I was 24. I wanted to have her "younger", because I really wanted to be able to relate to the "kid" things that she would do. To this day, I love that part. I love chasing my daughter down the hallway, trying to tickle her. I love hiding behind a door and jumping out saying a loud "BOO!!". However, there are down sides. Sometimes, I don't have the patience that I would like to have with her. I feel that this is a lack of maturity on my part (I believe that maturity is a process, not a goal. I'm maturing more everyday). Sometimes, I feel like I'm a little too "girlfriend-esque" with her...if you know what I'm saying. My daughter, my husband and I are learning about life together. It's one way to go, but who can say it's the right way, or the only way, or the best way. Girl, enjoy your 20s, and when that baby comes, you'll know first hand exactly what I'm rmabling about (LOL). Miss. Mocha |
Wow!!! I thought it was just me. I've been crying for days and I can't sleep at night. My boyfriend is acting like he's falling out of love with me. I can't seem to keep his attention lately. I don't know what to do either. I know this may seem dumb, but I was praying that he was the one. The bad thing is that I really don't have anyone to talk to. Well I do, but I don't want to bother people with my problems.
All I can say is that I will continue to pray and I will do the same for the other ladies who are feeling like me. |
Y'all! Calm down! Ain't nobody an old maid at 25, 26, 29...40! When you are in your groove, things may fall in place (in terms of choosing, not finding a husband), but being anxious won't help a thing. I got married at 29 1/2 years, but believe me, if it hadn't felt right, I would have been more than happy to wait until it was, either with him or someone else. Rejoice in your freedom and concentrate on being your best self...
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Splendor,
Never feel as if you are bothering folks with your problems. A true friend would always listen, and they may need you sometime in the future. If you ever need a brother's perspective please feel free to contact me. manndingo2@yahoo.com Take Care and Best of wishes MN |
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BUT, I do have a significant other! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif |
Splendor's post has really shocked me. I just had to post on this thread again. I would like to experience marriage at some point in my life, but I also have a clear understanding that marriage isn't the end all be all. If it is, why do 50% of marriages end in divorce? The grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence. So in the meantime, I will just enjoy the single life.
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Splendor:
Girl, I feel you! I prayed to God that my boyfriend a couple of years ago was the one, and I asked God that if he wasn't the one, please show me a sign. A couple of weeks later, I saw him leaving the hotel with my best friend's sister. I do know that God answers prayers. I guess he is getting tired of my messed up prayers, because after that happened, I prayed that I never, ever wanted to love anyone that hard again... I don't want to be in a love that is so strong, it becomes dangerous. (After he left, girl I looked like walking death...I dropped like 10 pounds in two weeks from not eating) I guess we all have to just have faith. I want SOMEONE, just not the wrong SOMEONE. I do feel like an old maid though! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/frown.gif |
Convinced,
I know you asked for sorors and sisterfriends but I could not sit here and see my soror cry pink and green tears! Soror take it from a not married 25 BA having, community service oriented,Novel Reading, serious relationship, ordained minster of his church, making over 50K brother....dating is rough and finding a soul mate is tougher! Many women are not into marriage and a lot of brothers make it harder....but think of it as getting into AKA........You must go through these experinces so when you do find that right man you know what he is and that is exactly waht you want. From the SPhinxpoet "Just Bring It!" |
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Eclipse:
[B] I always say I am glad we did not get married earlier 'cause I would either be a divorcee or a widow by now!! I hear ya on that one. We graduated in '91 and folks were like when are y'all getting married? We had to get the career thang and the money thang tight before marriage. We were not mentally or finacially ready RIGHT out of college. |
How many of you who feel this men despair are single? Sometimes society causes many single people to feel like they are in the outside looking in. Is it really a husband we want or just a happy healty relationship? I have been in a relationship for 5 years, if you would have told me five years ago that I would be with someone for that long without a ring, I would have laughed! However as I mature and become older I realize the importance of a strong relationship that no ring can foster and develop. I wonder do we as women want companionship or a spouse? We often get the two distorted, and begin to believe in order to be happy we need a husband, when in fact what we need is happiness.
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I know single folks are probably saying to all us married folks that keep replying don't worry.."Yeah, but you already married!", but hear me out.
Marriage is--I guess I should say can be--a wonderful thing. It is also hard. As someone else stated, TOOOOOO many marriages end in divorce, and if you add the bad marriages on top of that it's a wonder anyone is married!! I have friends who have dealt with infidelity (his part and her part), step children and baby mama/daddy drama, inlaw issues, little/no money, serious illnesses, faith issues, and on and on. If you get married for married's sake and are with the wrong person these things will not only break your marriage, but break you as well!! My husband's twin sister just got engaged at 35. Her finance is degreed, sweet as pie, not too bad on the eyes and, as a friend of my would say, would drink her dirty bath water! LOL Maybe we need to set up a dating service on here....hook y'all up with nice eligible men like MandingoNUPE and spinxpoet!! LOL |
It's long, but...Growing While Single
All your life, you had specific dreams about what your family life would be like when you finally married. You were so intent on what you wanted, you even made a list of qualities and characteristics you were looking for in a spouse, in a home, in your job, in your children. But time passed, and that person you were so intent on didn't come along. All of your friends married, had children, had beautiful homes. And still, you are single. You prayed and prayed and prayed for that person to come along, but nothing happened. You had a good job. You served in your church. You spent daily time with the Lord in prayer and studying the Word. You dedicated your life to pleasing God in every way possible, but still nothing. So, you decided to take matters into your own hands, and you began an active search for a mate. And within a short period, you met someone who almost fit the bill. Almost. Sure, there were a few things missing, a few rusty spots in that person's character. But, after all, no one is perfect. Of course, your friends tried to council you that you were making a poor choice and that you should wait for the Lord to send the right person. But that couldn't be right. You had waited for a long time. Maybe your goals were too high. Maybe you'd been asking for the impossible. Maybe this was the person God wanted for you so you're character could grow through dealing with his or her shortcomings. So you married. And your life went down hill from there. Even though it often seems that God is slow to answer prayers, no matter whether it's about a mate, or a job, or our children, or our finances, or anything else, we have to remember that God doesn't wear a watch. Nor does He look at our human calendars. He sees with eternal eyes. He operates on an eternal timetable, according to His plan and His schedule. If God seems to be running late, don't get impatient and run ahead of him. Wait for the Lord's timing in EVERYTHING. To the single folks out there, this is for you. Single means you have the time to grow and be the person you and God wants you to be. Single gives you space to grow. Sometimes, it is harder to grow when you are too close to someone. Trees are planted far apart so they can spread their branches and become strong as they mature. Single means learning to live by yourself. Single means freedom. You are free to spend a week's vacation on the beach, to take computer courses, to work late on an interesting project, to spend the day in bed with a good book or simply with a person who has read one. Single means learning not to need a man/woman to make your life meaningful, but learning to live with a man/woman because you want to be with him/her. Single means that sometimes you will wonder why you will bite your lip and feel wistful and wonder if marriage is better. Ironically, single is feeling good about being in control of your life. It is liking and respecting who you are and why you are. Single is realizing that being married is not necessarily better, it is merely different. Single means that there could be something wonderful around the corner and you can take advantage of it. Single means you are free to love again. Whatever decisions that you have made in your life is part of your growing experience. Whatever decisions that you have to make will influence or affect your future. So think hard before deciding on certain things...and PRAY TO GOD and HE will show you the way! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Many of our todays are spoiled by planning for tomorrows. ********************************************* Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom for the future. Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will be established. Proverbs 19:20-21 |
Sorors you must remember that Good Brothers are out there it is important to find the one that you can be compatible with. believe me that is more difficult than anything! I dated someone with a child and worked and labored to make sure that the relationship could be kept on even ground(even supported her for a time) and I never regretted doing that but in the end she used me but I took that as a learning experince! Now I will not put myself in that position again in the same way. Sorors don't cry...sisterfriends do not fret! True love comes from internal happiness and then finding someone who shows you love in the way you enjoy it being shown!
E-mail the Sphinxpoet at longshot1906@hotmail.com "Oh Yes, It's True! It's True the Sphinxpoet does have an e-mail address" |
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Ah suki suki na. It's about to be a dating service for real up in here, up in here. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif But really, I don't like the male:female ratio in greekchat. Where are the rest of the eligible Alphas, Kappas, Ques, Sigmas and Iotas? |
It's funny that I should come across a thread such as this.I was really thinking about marriage today. I just got a year older yesterday and I felt as though I had nothing accomplished according to my little "Plans". I too wanted to be at least engaged by 25 and in fact, because of that , I've been engaged twice to two totally wrong men! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/rolleyes.gifIf I'd rushed things I never would have met the man I'm with now. I feel love for the first time, and I know because it's an all over all day feeling.I feel deep in my heart that I'm ready for the commitment that marriage will bring to the two of us, but at the same time I don't want to rush it. I want to marry once, and make that last a lifetime. Mocha, I feel you about how you are with your daughter. I feel tha same way.One things for certain though, I wouldn't change it for the world! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif
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I Really feel like the baby in here, I am only 20, and every time I talk to my NANA, (my great-grandmother), she asks me have I found a boyfriend yet!!!! I think it is because I am the youngest granchild, and she feels like she is getting old and she wants to see me married off (shes 82). I just had this conversation with her less that 30 minutes ago http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif!
Anyway, I am in agreement, there ought to be a singles connection in here! With sweeties like MandigoNupe and Spinxpoet, we may even get some male participation http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/eek.gif! (We don't want 75 women fussing over 3-4 men!!!) LOL ------------------ 'Cause I'm a woman, Phenomenally Phenomenal Woman That's me Maya Angelou |
http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gifI'm no longer in feeling the shade of blue. I've read all the posts and I just want to say thanks!! The kind word of so many intellegent black women and men was wonderful.
I know that your all right, but there is a deep need for some type of connection of the heart. I have always experienced things late in life and I hate it. Like for instance it was only 2 years ago that I got a real Valentine gift. That seems insignificant and unreal to a lot of people when I tell them that, but it's true. I just would like to experience some wonderful moments now instead of the future. So that I can look back on them when I'm older and say my days as a young woman was actually fun. I probably presented myself to be a weird, lonely, and boring woman. I'm really not http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif. |
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The moral of this story is to let go and let God. He will provide all your needs and the desires of your heart. Two years ago, I met a man that I know God wanted me to meet. And I have only said one prayer so far, and that is THANK YOU JESUS!!! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif |
I truly feel for my Black sistas in search of a meaningful relationship, much less marriage. The deck is truly stacked against you. I never use such weak platitudes such as "just pray about it". Its helpful, but not a satisfying answer. I have many unmarried male friends in their 30's, who are just playing the field with no intention of getting married. They are spoiled with options. My two unmarried sisters have had suitors, but none worth making a lifetime committment for. I'm afraid that they will always be unmarried and childless. Having said that, they are however, happy, content, professional women. My three brothers on the other hand were all married by 26 (and could have married any number of women). I don't believe any Black man that says that he cannot find a quality sister to marry by age 30. A professional, educated Black man with mediocre looks can find more than his share. I would advise any woman seeking marriage to take your time and don't push it. It will happen and come upon you when you're not looking. Take your time and yes, even pray, that someone is worthy to receive the love that only a Black woman can give. Ques have a heart too (never a soft side).
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I'm sitting here crying pink and green tears...
Boo Hoo Hoo Sorors and Sisterfriends. I have been asked to be in yet another one of my line sisters weddings. This time, I'm the maid-of-honor. I don't understand! I am twenty five years old, have a bachelor's AND a master's degree, I'm professional, make my own money, go to church, I'm charming, and you know I'm pretty http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/rolleyes.gif Will I ever get a chance to wear a white dress instead of: a rose one, a butter one, .... What's a girl to do? Is anyone else experiencing this lack of a man psychosis?
Convinced (convinced that I'll be an old maid in a nursing home with a pink and green shawl around my shoulders) [This message has been edited by Convinced (edited November 29, 2000).] |
What's up to all in here? As far as myself being in the relationship game, I never was a very good "participant" in that I never had women tearing down my door to kick it with me. I was married for a VERY short time to a single mom which was a disaster. But after I got saved (about 2 years ago), my need and priorities for a wife changed dramatically. Now I am a 27 year old accounting professional about to enter graduate school for an MBA, lives in a brand new house in the 'burbs and goes to church 2-3x a week and NOT ugly. And to think that 2 years ago I was divorced, broken, and bankrupt. But at this point in my life I am not looking for a wife b/c I am just letting God use me His way. Now I do have a woman who is about to move back to Ohio that is interested in a courtship with me, but should something happen, good, bad, or indifferent, that is OK.
God can bless you more effectively when you drop your courtship/engagement/marriage timelines and even certain criteria for a mate (If God sent you a white man, would you feel blessed?). For a long time I had a problem with dating single moms due to my marriage to one. But just last weekend I spent a blessed day with her and her son and that problem no longer exists for me. My point is, sistas, that God can bless you more effectively when something at one time you really sought after(ie a husband)means nothing to you now. My .25 cents Rain Man |
Ladies, I know how you all feel. I haven't been on a date in three years!! Most of my good friends have been dating their beaus for at least one year, two years and some for three years! I'm one of the worst people to ask for relationship advice but I do have common sense. Sometimes theirs falters when a man is involved. One the same token, I'm not ready to get married either. I'm much too young and I want to complete graduate school first. Currently, I'm an undergraduate and some of my classmates (who are also 21) are already married and are having houses built for when they graduate!
I read some startling news awhile back. A black woman has a 40% of getting married in her lifetime, due to various factors. Personal preferences, lack of eligible black men comparable to black women (we outnumber men 3 to 1) and black women are less likely to date men of another race, which also lowers our chances of marriage in general. [This message has been edited by Talaxe (edited November 30, 2000).] |
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Is there really a such thing as a soul mate, or do you just make it work with the one you're with? What do yall think? |
Family!
Things are not as bad as they seem and now with the men popping up in the wood work it is all GOOD!! |
Family!
Things are not as bad as they seem and now with the men popping up in the wood work it is all GOOD!! Sphinxpoet |
I'm very picky on the men I date. Remember how picky Matt was on the Real World, New Orleans? That's the extent of my pickiness as well. I don't have a preference for skin color, I go exclusively on personality and ambitions. For some reason I attract older married men, enough said.
Consider yourself blessed that you have a good black man, Miss Mocha. Many women in my family do not. As for black women outnumbering black men as comparable mates, it's true. If a black man is in incarcerated, married, or homosexual, that's one less eligible black male. (for me, at least) US census data will show that we outnumber black men. When I get some time, I'll find the data. |
The sad monster use to visit me when my friends got married. I couldn't understand why it was never me saying I do. Like you guys, I too am a beautiful person inside and out. I have a lot to offer a man. This thing really bugged me until one day I was thinking about all of my friends who had gotton married. Just about all of them are divorced. I thought about how I held them when they cried. I thought about how I took a couple of them to the emergency room. I thought about how I've gotton up 2,3,4 o'clock in the morning to listen. I decided that I had the best seat in the house. Don't get me wrong I believe that marriage can be beautiful even through the bad times. I am just saying that we can desire a thing so badly and not be ready for it. I said earlier that that I have a lot to offer, but I also have alot to work on. For example, I have this thing with rejection. It almost kills me if I ask for something and be denied. If I suggest that we go to the movies and he says that tonight is not a good night. I'll never suggest it again. It could be that he's tired or doesn't have any money or in a bad mood. Nevertheless I see it as pure rejection. Can you picture the kind of marriage that I would have. I am working on that part of me. I have other baggage that I need to discard. The mate that God has for me could have baggage as well. If we got together now, we would be two infected people making a mess out of things. I've decided until God sees fit to bless me with my wonderful man,that I am going to continue to work on the areas that he reveals to me and pray much for whomever my strong,sexy, handsome, intelligent,GOOD THANG is.
Conskeeted19 You are the master of your own destiny! [This message has been edited by Conskeeted19 (edited November 30, 2000).] |
God has a plan for everyone. Don't worry if you're single because God is finding you the right man/woman. I am 19 years old, I have never even had a BOYFRIEND! I have never received a Valentine's Day gift,or even been on a real date. But I do know that I am a beautiful, independent, and intelligent young lady. I know that God is making me a stronger, smarter person right now by allowing me to observe others in their relationships so when the right man comes along I will know what to expect from a relationship.
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Maybe I'm jaded, or oblivious, but I don't consider myself lucky, I consider myself "normal".
I'm not doubting that the numbers between black males and females are disporportionate, but who says that YOU can't get one of those good ones? NOBODY!!! All I'm saying, all I'm saying is... Expect to get a good one! Know you're going to get a good one! Believe that your good one is out there! There's a lot to be said for expectations. Bill Cosby says that when you expect something of somebody, you can change their lives. I believe it. |
Talaxe, don't believe everything that you read.
You can control your own destiny! To All: My own husband is a beautiful, tall, sexy, loving, giving, gracious, trustworthy, up standing, healthy, understanding, patient, wonderful, smart, hard working, reliable, dependable, blue-black brother, and he's a good daddy, too. He is my prince, and yes, I am his princess (when my daughter isn't "blocking" (lol). I was not looking for a man when I found him, I was actually engaged to a LOSER when we met, but GOD was looking out for me. There are wondereful black brothers out there. How do I know, because I have one... and guess what, he has a younger brother (23) whose almost as perfect as he is. Keep searching and stay confident. Real black men love confident black women. Nobody wants to sit up with somebody who keeps crying "whoa is me." In Love, Miss. Mocha |
(I posted this in another topic area and thought I would re-post here given its relevance to the discussion here. It's long...but hopefully, it's a blessing to you)
The scriptural reference that was mentioned is: I Corinthians 7. I would highly recommend a review of this chapter for anyone interested in the topics of marriage, divorce, and singleness. I Corinthians 7: 8-9 (NIV)reads: Now to the unmarried and the widow I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. Your singleness is important to God. For when you are single, your attention can be solely on the Lord and fellowship with him. It is important for single women (myself included) to remember that in the divine order of things, God must be first. Why? Because His name is Jealous (Exodus 34:14). When you are able to have an intimate relationship with the Father, and submit to Him, then you will be positioned to bear the fruit of the Spirit--including love(Galations 5:22), and will be more able to willingly submit (Ephesians 5: 22) to your authorities--including your earthly husband. Check out the Word of God on the unmarried: "I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs--how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world--how he can please his wife---and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world--how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way to undivided devotion to the Lord." (I Corinthians 7: 32-35) Now, what the apostle, Paul, was talking about here isn't about choosing one lifestyle (being married or single) over another. What he is saying is that there is a right order. The right order is God first....and remember that in Matthew 6:33, it is written "Seek ye first the kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." What are "these things"? They are all other desires of your heart. Put God first. Allow Him to order your life. Remember, as a believer, you are to be holy. In Colossians 3: 2-6 it says: " Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God....Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your eartly nature: sexual immortality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. Because of these, the wrath of God is coming...[so you must be rid of such things and] put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator" God really wants you to be a woman/man in relationship with Him first. That's why He wants you to be holy, and have your mind focused on Him. When you do that (through reading His Holy Word), and remain submitted to God in prayer, then you will understand the answers to the questions you've posed. Allow God to become your first love. Why? Because He loved you first. (I John 4:19). Once you do that,you'll be blessed in "all things" beyond belief. ------------------ I will bless the Lord at ALL times His praise shall continually be in my mouth. (Psalms 34:1, KJV) |
I didn't check the board yesterday and I see this thread is BLOWING UP http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/eek.gif
I would like to comment that as I read the posts it is wonderful to see that so many of us are being guided by the Faith that we have in Our Father. It's great to see that in young black men and women. It's a beautiful thing. |
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Anyway, I just wanted to say that I'm just like Ms. Ideal08. I too am involved with one of those off and on relationships, and I'm frankly getting quite tired of it. It's just kinda hard to let go when I don't have anyone else to turn to or any other options. Is that selfish of me? Anyway, good luck ladies in your quests for love! I'll be praying for you all! -Sweetsista http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif |
Eh, y'all, I'm kinda one of the older ones in here... I'm tryin' to be funny here so bare with me http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif
To my gwirlllfriends unda 30--Life starts after 30!!! WHY would you wanna rush all of this commitment thang with marriage, a car, a house and 2.1 kids sooooo fast when, it's like ya hit 30, and you know the 7 year itch hits around that time!!! I'm havin' sooooo much fun now than I ever had back when I was 19!!! All of my friends that married early 20's--DIVORCED!!! Or havin' WAAAAYYYY to many marital problems. And let me tell ya, if you think a wedding costs!!! Wait 'till you havta divorce the punk MF... And it ain't over 'nother woman--NOOOOOO!!! It's 'cuz the only way you knew there was a problem was when the Marshalls came to your house and put a tax lien and foreclosed on it, 'cuz the idiot didn't put your mortgage check in the mail with a stamp and now he's arrested and you gotta bail his ass out!!! Happened to a friend of mine--33 yrs old and she has to sit thru this sh--!!! Oh, no. It's like Destiny's Child " All the Independent Women--throw yo hand's up in the air"!!! I gotta house, I gotta a car. Yeah, I might want kids, but do I havta deal with skrait up stupidity??? Jus' dumbsh--!!! NOOO, not all bruhs are like that. It's easier to fling it, than to deal wit' Whitewater, if you know what I mean--'specially when no pre nup was signed... Then, you don't have bad credit, alimony payments, bankruptcy and other sh-- that I cannot tell you how many of my early marriers friends havta deal with right now... Yeah, the bruh works hard, but dayum, ain't no amount of hours of work by the both of y'all are gonna get those mortgage principles down even with DiTech refinancing... And let me tell you 'bout the kids issue... Yea, yo husband may make sho nuf cash that you really don't havta put your degree in action, so you "pop" out a few kids and with the allowance he "kindly" gives you, you buy mainly stuff for the kids. But just one day, you in Kmart/Walmart and you like that patio set that you've been eyeing for a year and half and now it goes on sale and you get it--All hell breaks loose. Then he gotta go take your allowance and buy the most expensive PDA with a DVD on it at the Sharper Image and call it a Christmas gift to himself... And the kids ran outta diapers... Ugh, I tell you. I ain't havin' it. I'd rather be mired by myself and wallow in my own self pity while I eat the entire Ben and Jerry's that I bought from Trader Joe's, then sleep for the entire weekend, channel surfin' foreva and a day in my PJ's that I've worn for more than 48 hours... And I don't havta comb my hair and put on that $2000 Neroli Gown that he liked--which will come off in 20 seconds anyway... Yeah, it's a lonely life, but you don't havta to act like it, in order to LIVE it and LOVE it!!! |
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