Promise Rings
 

Ok so has anyone ever had one of these. I told the bf that I wanted one, since I know that I'm not getting the engagement ring anytime soon even though hes already asked me to marry him. I know it will be awhile before he can afford the ring he wants to get me though. I think hes pickier than I am when it comes to the ring Im going to have on my finger!! But yeah I asked for a promise ring...God only knows if Im actually going to get one! I just think theyre cute and a sweet gesture. What do you think??


Nichole

Re: Promise Rings
 

I thought it was against the Rules to propose without a handy ring?

promise rings are a fabulous idea before you can afford an engagement ring/ before you are ready to be engaged. they are kind of a step between "boyfriend/girlfriend" and "fiance/fiancee"... i had one before my engagement ring! :)

So its not bad that I kinda asked for one...lol I feel bad that I mentioned it, but I don't know since I know that he cant afford what he wants for me, I figured I should have something on my finger maybe lol. geez I sound too much like one of those girls now..I mean I dont need a ring I love him and he knows it and I know he loves me but dangit I think maybe I should have one lol

Nichole

GIRL if he has allready asked to you marry him you deserve a little something to show for it! promise rings are inexpensive, $50 or less if you don't want a diamond.

if all else fails, get a claddaugh ring (or however you spell it. not gonna lie, i'm not even a tiny bit irish). they are cute and show that you are taken if you wear them heart facing in.

I had a promise ring when I was 20...well first I had a friendship ring my boyfriend totally surprised me with and then a promise ring I picked out.

He wanted to give me a pearl promise ring cuz that's sorta tradition in small towns. I wanted a diamond one because of it durability. So I picked it out, he put it on layaway and it cost him about $149 with my discount.

Now that I'm like 23, I don't think I'll get a promise ring. I just think it's kinda juvenile at my age (no offense). But if a guy were to get me a ring of any kind (other than an engagement ring) I'd accept it as a gift. I just wouldn't want it to be considered a promise ring.

We wear matching claddaghs, and have for just about 2 years (after having dated for a year and a half). Not exactly promise rings (it just seems like something 18 and 19 year olds do, and we were far from 19 at that point!), and we'll probably wear them after upgrading to platinum solitaire and bands. :) I didn't ask for one--he asked me if I wanted one, and then I asked him.

There's just so much I want to do (ie, get out of graduate school, be able to pay rent in NYC without my parents' support) that a claddagh suits me just fine. Not in a hurry at all. :)

I always had the rule they if they can't afford the diamond, they can't afford to ask you to marry them.

Ha then I met my husband :D poor a** broke as a joke. We just wore matching James Avery silver bands for the longest time before we got married. For both of them it was $100 max if I remember correctly. We still wear them every now and then if we don't want to wear our good jewelry (like if we are going to Six Flags or something like that where we could lose them). I also wore mine when my fingers swelled up like sausages the last pregnancy!

my ex bought me a ring, it was alittle like a promise ring. HE took me to Kay's and picked it out, he made me promise not to look at the price, just find one I like. I did, and even with the Christmas time discount it was over $400!.
and the thing is my best friend got one that year also, and she was asked her BF what would happen if they break up, he said for her to keep it and wear it if she wanted to. Then my boyfriend said they same thing. So I have not seen him in like 2 years, but I still have and wear the ring. It is so pretty. I love sapphires and diamond!.

Christia

I agree with Hootie and Munchkin03. While promise rings are a nice gesture, they sound juvenile to me. (I'm also 23). Is your boyfriend Greek? I ask because my boyfriend is and I want him to lavalier me before he gives me an engagement ring. This hasn't happened yet, and I'm not sure it will, but I think it's a good idea.

One more thing....I noticed that you are only 19.....don't rush your future with him. People change and grow as they enter their 20's and get older. I know I surely did. You never know what might happen. There are a lot of people out there that have survived, but there are just as many who didn't last throughout those changes. :D

I like the claddaugh ring idea...they're very pretty, and you can get them in all price ranges. (I got mine, a heavy silver one, for about...oh, $25?) Wear it on your right ring finger with the heart pointing inward if you're going steady, but you can also switch it to the left ring finger to signal that you're very serious. I think it's a better idea than a promise ring...sorry, but I think it does sound kind of like high school.

Ok, someone should post a link to such a ring so guys can know what to look for on her finger to signify she is taken.

I guess it seems juvinille but I kinda like some of the ones Ive seen. I have alot of Celtic rings being scottish and all so one more wouldnt hurt lol. I actually have one of those rings with the hands and the heart my mom got it for me years ago. I know that Im only 19 of course I do have alot of friends that have been married for a few years and theyre doing well but we werent planning on marrying for a few years. But we are 5 years apart too. I know that he doesnt want to wait until hes 30 to get married. I dont know though.

Nichole

http://www.buffymaniac.it/images/claddagh.jpg

Claddagh Ring Ettiquette

1--On the right hand, crown in heart out, the wearer is free as the birds in the sky. If you want her, go a courtin'.
2--On the right hand, crown out heart in, the lass is spoken for, so lay off.
3--On the left hand, place of choice, heart in crown out, she is happily married for evermore.

They are available in gold, and with stones in the center of the heart as well. The James Avery version is probably the most easily available one in Texas.

ETA: For those who don't know what the Claddagh Ring Story is, here's a link:
http://www.potgold.com/claddagh.htm

okay....so my best friend is a guy and we are NOT dating. but for my birthday he got me this gorgous ring. it has three sapphires set in white gold. the middle stone is probably a half caret and the other two stones are probably a little less than a third. it is soooooo pretty. i wear it on my middle finger on my left hand and EVERYONE asks about it. their respones to it are great!! i usually get "you two are getting married and you just dont know it yet!!"
at first he said it was a "friendship ring" but it has kinda turned into a "past, present, future promise we will always be friends" ring. maybe one day i can tell you guys more. but that is my little promise ring story to add to this disscussion (by the way....he lives with me too!! :) )

***dances a best friend dance***

My boyfriend of three and a half years is Irish/Italian and he bought me a beautiful gold claddaugh ring for Christmas of last year. I wear it on my right hand, heart in. I was at a bar once and a guy asked my friend if I was married. He was Irish from Ireland and when I showed him my claddaugh ring, he backed off. :)

My BF's parents use them as wedding bands, and they love that he gave one to me. They keep asking him when the other ring is coming! :D I love it!

One of my married coworkers said it best when he said, "Friends don't let friends get promise rings. Get engaged or don't do it at all. Promise rings are ridiculous." (His words, but I agree.)

I have to agree with what everyone else said. I was semi-promised when I was 19, and I'm with a different guy now. I'm 27....a lot has changed in 8 years. I'm glad that I am not married or engaged. I'm still growing into my own and figuring out what it is that I want from myself and my life. I am in a committed relationship, and we have discussed engagement, but when we are both ready...and that is not right now. I think before I am 30, but realistically why push it? This is going to sound very jaded but oh well: A ring doesn't stop anyone from doing things anyhow. A promise ring would be just another piece of jewelry to wear, unless you are truly committed to someone (and in my opinion that is a bad idea for anyone under the age of 25) what is the point of being anything other than married/committed/engaged?

That is sooo sweet. I love it!

BLAHAHAHAHAHA! OH MY LORD! That is hilarious!

Jadey28 ~
I would have LOVED to have been lavaliered during my sorority years. Only because my parent's and their Greek history together. My mom has my dad's pin in her jewelry box and it's just so dang sweet.

I'd rather receive a guy's letters than a promise ring ANY day...and that I can say even at the age of 23 :D

CTFU...sooo true! I always associated promise rings with my jailbait HS classmates who got these diamond chip rings from Wal-Mart from their boyfriends in high school. Most of them got married, to be sure, but they also ended up divorced within a year or two.

Our claddaghs are more of a cultural statement--the boy is Irish, and wearing them (and learning all about them) was a huge introduction to me into something he values greatly--so it's much more significant than meets the eye. For a GDI who is heavily into Irish culture, it's sorta like being lavaliered. ;)


See, I've always believed it's very hard to put an arbitrary age on when someone is ready for a larger commitment. That age might be good for a girl just getting out of college, who has always been dependent on her parents and needs to be a single career gal for a minute--but it's not so much for someone who has been on her own since 18, working and taking care of herself without anyone's help.

I do agree, however, that you have all the time in the world for rings and things. I remember reading one post where one girl was saying that she felt left out because all of her friends were engaged, and she wanted to be engaged, too--and this was right out of college! :eek: I only know one couple who was engaged at graduation, and they had been high school sweethearts. Most couples, as "joined at the hip" as they were, broke up within weeks after graduation. You experience so much in those last two years of college--when I started my junior year, I had no idea where I wanted to spend my spring semester abroad, to say nothing of spending the rest of my life with someone.

You are young and have so much time. Enjoy college for what it is. Spend a semester abroad. Take an internship in something you never thought you'd do. Become involved in campus life. If he's worthy, he will be there with you when all is said and done.

Me, too! :D

My mother and my aunt each gave Claddagh rings to me. For me it is an expression of my culture, not of romance. Several of my relatives wear them on their left hands as wedding bands. I wear mine heart out on my right ring finger. I am involved with someone, but when I switched my ring to heart in and crown out, it stabbed me so I switched it back.

I don't know much about promise rings. I know when a girl was exclusive with a boy in highschool, she wore his hs class ring. Some guys gave girls little heart rings with diamond chips. I never received either. I always think that jewelry is a nice gift. There are some pretty rings that could symbolize your commitment. My sister received a ring from her then boyfriend on Valentine's Day several years ago. It is a three stone ring with an emerald in between two diamonds. It is beautiful.

I think a promise ring is a nice idea but like others I tend to think couples should just get engaged already! But maybe it's a good idea for couples who are too young to think about being engaged but want to show each other and others the level of committment above exclusive dating.

My BF's HS ring was so BIG I could barely wear it. Had to get a ring guard so I could wear it. I wanted to wear it on a chain around my neck but was always afraid it would break the chain.
One of the first gifts he got me was claddaugh earrings. 7 years later they are one of my favorite peices of jewlery he has bought for me. I love the Irish symbolism behind it and so does he the little Lad. ;)

i didnt know that promise rings were also for serious bf/gf relationships. my sister and a lot of girls at my church had promise rings, but it was a symbol of sexual purity.

What the heck is up with this? Listen most self-respecting normal girls don't get railed by like 50 dudes. They also don't advertise the fact that they don't. Both are retarded. Am I honestly the only one that thinks this???

-Rudey
--What the heck is wrong with some people?

OK well that's just retarded. Seriously. This is beyond tacky. I'm usually pro-america but if this is an integral part of American culture, I seriously think people in this country need to be re-educated. These people complain that non-virgins are disgusting when they talk about sex. Well yes nobody wants to hear of all the guys who banged a girl. But we still don't want to hear what girl wasn't banged.

On top of that most of the girls that claim they're waiting and are religious become easy.

And finally, I'd like to think it was the girl that gave herself away. Not the father, not anyone else.

-Rudey
--And last I checked Jessice Simpson was not the best role model out there but who am I to argue.

I was just talking to a friend of mine today that got a promise ring from her BF. They have only been seeing each other for a little over a month so I asked what brought it about. She said that he wanted everyone to know that she was "taken". I just find that a little weird. It is almost like he is marking his territory.

Why would her father be so up into her virginity? That is daaaaaaaamned creepy if you ask me.

Yes, it does seem as if he's marking his territory. When I was in HS, that's how a lot of those older guys would control their jailbait girlfriends. I can't NOT think of a promise ring as a really rednecky thing to do. But maybe I'm a snob.

There's nothing wrong with education. I was educated on how to protect myself, and my parents luckily kept it at that. They didn't make my sex life their business. I was told, however, not to do drugs? Why? 'Cause they're illegal. Sex, between two consenting parties, isn't illegal. Had I been caught with pot in the car, I would be in serious trouble to this day. Had I been caught parking? Nope. Sex and drugs really can't be compared in that light--unless you're a fundie.

I dunno.. promise rings seem awfully high-schoolish to me. I'd say go without and wait for the engagement ring.

James: my DH proposed to me without a ring - his words meant more to me than any stone ever could. He still got me a ring, but I would have been fine without one.

I can't wait for Zales or someone to come up with a new "tradition" stating that you have to buy a promise ring and spend X months salary on it:D