The sex SUCKS!
 

Alright, d*mmit, it's time for another sex thread. Okay, I think we have all had the unpleasant experience of having someone who sucks in bed. My question is, what tactics do you use to end the encounter as quickly as possible? I, of course, have never been in such a situation *cough* so I wanted to pose the question to see what others do.

Oh wait, let's not take this too deep, like let's pretend that there is little to no emotional investment in the other person. "Go to counseling" is not an option, lol.

I just wouldn't see them anymore. To have the sex be really bad there has to be a breakdown of feelings on at least one side if not both.

Kind of like did you ever sleep with a person you really liked? And then get a achance to do it again when you didn't care whether they lived or died? Major difference in feeling lol.

Ah, you took it too deep, James, lol. I am talking you are in the act of sex with a person and you just want it to end cause it sucks. What do you do?

Tell the person that you don't think a relationship will workout with them. (Hopefully this isn't a friend or someone you see often.) Say you will be too busy when summer rolls around or something lame like that. Or start blowing off their phone calls. The person will hopefully get the idea that things are done with!


Good luck


Edited to add: if you are in the actual act itself and you just want it to stop, complain that it hurts or act like your leg cramped up or something. That should stop the moment! If not, yell "Get the hell off me!" :p

I fake it and hope they hurry (which is usually the problem to begin with) then I roll over and go to sleep and dream about Brad Pitt.

I fake it too . . . and then leave as fast as possible. Come to think of it, good or not, I leave as fast as possible . . . ;)

I know the feeling
 

For one, I would pull the whole, "Something's not right," deal. Once this girl who I would say mildy was pretty ugly looking had an encounter with me. I had just turned 21 and stayed up until like 3 p.m. getting blitzed. one of my brothers had invited over some friends of his (all girls). Well at about 2 a.m. one of them looked fantastic even though she wasn't. I took her to my friends room and started the hibbity dibbity, anyways to make a long story short my boy walks in a turns the light on. he apologizes and walks out. So when I actually turn around and look at her she freakin looks like frakenstein in the light and I kinda freaked out. I turned the light off and started with the whole,"I don't feel right " bit. I played it off like a gentlemen saying this was inappropriate, I was drinking, etc.

I dated this guy once who had the SMALLEST equipment (and had no clue what to do w/ it). And he wasn't attractive. At all. Anyways I'd always play sick or tired or say I was having girl problems. He was too much of a wimp to ask details. :)

In addition to having female problems, I've also used the "I've got a UTI/bladder infection" excuse. They usually don't touch that one with a ten foot pole.

But then again, not calling or seeing them anymore will do the trick too.

I don't keep on going back unless it's some good isht.

LMFAO!! :D

When I read that I imagined someone actually doing that in the middle of doing it and I couldn't stop laughing!!!

I haven't been to this site in a while and I had an encounter that I didn't quite know what to do with. I knew my fellow gcer's could help me so here it is:

Okay, I had someone tell me last week that they liked scratching and biting. I don't know when/how/where to do these things because I don't understand them. Please help.

Scratching-down the back
Biting-the earlobe

These are just suggestions that are pretty tried and true. Don't bite/scratch too hard! :)

My escape from bad sex: fake it--sleep, that is. ;)

ok so I am more direct-I have had unpleasant sex before and I said "are you done yet?" then I said-"will you get off of me"-it worked-nothing like honesty :)

librasoul, only you could come up with a thread like thishttp://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/remybussi.gif


Most of you all do not know the art of love!

You know the worst of sex!
:(

At the puppy stage, wham bam thank you! GDNITE!

But as one matures, you learn the fine art of making loooove.

:cool:

I am old, what I could do all nite, I am lucky to do once in a while!:(

But, I have had no Boos lately:D :cool:

Oh yes there have been chances and doings. I am mature, not dead!http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmili.../xyxthumbs.gif

Unfortunatly, there are not many my age who look fine, but the 40 and 30 year young do!:cool:

Hell, late for me, must get my handsome sleep!:)


TTFN!

I agree with scratching on the back. Biting is good on the neck and shoulders. Do it just hard enough so it's more than a nibble.

Hey, anyway, why are so many people having such bad sex? Do we need to have a seminar or something to educate these people: Good sex, GC style?

Act bored, be listless. When they ask you to do something say no, why don't you leave! Honesty truly works.
-M

I usually don't post in these types of threads... :o

Hmmmm, I'd get on top, do my thing, and get off (no pun intended). Sometimes, you just gotta do the damn thing yourself!! :rolleyes:

Val,

I think a lot of girls forget that they are kind of responsible for their sexual pleasure with their partners . . . there is very little excuse not to have a good time.

Would have been better if you had said pun intended! :p

This thread was kind of funny . . .

this is possibly your shortest and greatest post of all time. and i agree 10048923983%

Re: The sex SUCKS!
 

Back in the day, I'd say:

GET THE FCUK OUT!!! GO!!!!



But when you walk in the Tantra...

The act of love-making goes beyond the physical... It is telepathic...

A real man, big or small, can make satisfactory progress in a southerly fashion...

Or he could use a "strap on"...

Swings are good, too...

Hell, if it is that bad of a performance... Always have fresh batteries... :rolleyes:

LOL. I guess being direct is the best way. I'd probably just fake an orgasm, just think of something else until it ends. You'd figure that as long as someone was getting some then that's all it'd matter.

Val: Haha. Those kinds of things exist already. You know the instructional videos that are supposed to enhance pleasure by improving your technique. I guess it all involves not just on an emotional level but also skill as well.

That makes me wonder sometimes.:rolleyes:

god i can practically see the STD's spreading....

OK, ladies - if you fake the orgasm, he's gonna think he knows what he's doing in bed, and the next one after you is going to have the same crappy experience you did. And then several women down the road, someone will be honest with him, and he won't believe it because "everyone else enjoyed it."

So please, do your gender a favor and DON'T be pretending to have a good time if you aren't. All you'll do is encourage more lousy sex.

I once dated a guy who, in a passionate (still standing up but kissing) moment, put my hand on his "area". There was nothing, just... nothing. I could have felt more through a Ken doll's pants. Thank heavens that's as far as we got, because I don't think I have the same amount of nerve that y'all seem to have!!

This is so true. Many women aren't raised to speak their minds when it comes to something important, and sex is one of those things. I can't remember having BAD sex...sometimes it has been a little...off...for both partners, but not so bad I have to avoid Dude.

Also, what does bad sex have to do with STDs? :confused:

didn't you know? sex is DIRRRRRTY and guarantees STD transmission, also you're going to hell too kthx

Ok, so I have a question sort of thingy somewhat realtional to the topic...

This new guy...we've been friends for a little while and we've been "getting closer". He's asked me to be his girlfriend several times but I just don't want to be committed right now. And we got umm...really close one night and had a good time (he was actually probably the smallest I've had, but he knew how to use it). So my problem comes in before all that...when he kisses, he bites (not all the time, but enough to be annoying), and I mean anything he can get his teeth on (lips, cheeks, nose), and he also opens his mouth WAY too wide (I feel like he's trying to swallow my head). I'm thinking that it has something to do with a cultural thing (he's Mexican, he moved here from Veracruz 3 years ago).... anyone have any suggestions on fixing this (before he really does swallow my head)?

LMAO!:D :D :D