Of what race is Kobe's fiance? Anyway, not to be racist or anything, I feel that some Black men feel that white women are easier to handle than Black women. Many men (particularly weak or insecure ones) don't want a strong woman who can question or even challenge them. They call it "attitude". And if you're making millions why should you have to put up with that from a woman. You're famous! You're above that! That's BS. Lik I said, that's the mentality of a coward. I want, in fact I need a woman to challenge me. I can't have a woman who's a pushover. I have a strong black woman who won't put up with any BS on my part. That's what I really like about her. Again, I'm not saying white women are pushovers, or that all black woman are strong. I'm just saying that alot of black men may have this mentality and that's why they choose white women over black women.

I also noticed that celebrities do that. but personally I feel if their happy, so be it. we also don't see it from celebrities point of view dating celebrities can be a big step altogher and we don't know how it cause we don't live that life.I hope this makes sense

I have to agree with HarlemGirl. To each his own. If they love each other, I don't really see where color matters. Hopefully they will get married and live happily ever after. (And if not, well the ring he gave her was 7 carats, she can sell it and still be happy! LOL! Just Kidding) I don't want the trend to stop. Love shouldn't have boundaries.

Just to let you know my point of view. I am an African-American male and I have dated 3 "white" women and 3 "black" women...my point? It makes no damn difference to me what her race is as long as I like her personality traits/qualities. I don't get why sisters have a fit over this. It would be one thing if I said I'd ONLY date white girls, but that is NOT the case (trust me, I have met some sisters that will only date white men, and that pisses me off). I have personally never met a brother who only dates white women, so sisters...get off it! If we find the qualities we like in a woman who is not black, so what?

If I am not mistaken, I believe Kobe's fiance' is non-white. I've heard that she is either latino or filipino. If anyone knows for sure, please inform.

As long as he loves her and she loves him, it really does not matter what color she is. I think what upsets many African American women are African American men that will only date Caucasion women based on stereotypes of what they believe we are or that use dating Caucasion women as a trophy, thus belittling our women.

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>>>"Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all."
Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised... Proverbs 31:29-30

Not to be mean or called a racist or anything like that but I think blacks should stick to blacks and so on when it comes to the dating game. I agre with Kaidi06 100%. Some black men are afraid of a strong black women. My answer to that is.....get over it cause we ain't going no where. You either love it or you don't simple as that.

I believe that love does not have any boundaries whether if you are black, white, fat, or skinny. I believe that a person should be with someone that makes them happy. I definitely would not sacrifice my happiness because of my families or anyone's opinions. I think that if the girl makes Kobe happy then I hope they have a prosperous and happy marriage.

I find white women more attractive than other women– I'm white, so this seems obvious. White women aren't any "easier" than black women, it's just that white women often find black men attractive, but black women rarely find white men attractive. That's my theory.

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andrew watters
Theta Chi – ucla

thanks everyone for your posts, i agree that color shouldn't matter (although it still does) in our society. I too prefer black men over any other because i'm a black woman http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif, but i do find some white men attractive however 99% of the time it is the brothers that are turning my head http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

Yeah, I could never understand why women of any race like to date or marry only within their own race. Whether it be African-American, Latino, Asian, or Middle-Eastern. I guess Andy's right. I suppose women in some races only find men in their respective race attractive.

Spice and Questionable, I have observed quite handsome men in most ethnicities outside of the Black realm. I am a Black woman, but if I see a good looking man, I'm going to "observe". I have never dated anyone outside my ethnicity and am currently dating a Black man, but I am not blind either.

For clarification, I prefer to use the term "ethnicity" instead of "race" because we are all a part of the HUMAN RACE.

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Sweet Deliverance's PHI-losophy:
"What you do or do not do today determines what you can or cannot do tomorrow."

Sweet Del -- good point about race vs. ethnicity. Who knows what my race is since I am of so many ethnicities??

Anyhow, I am primarily Asian (did you guess?) and I have dated black men. I do personally feel some real hostility from black women over this. My black girlfriends that are real close to me could care less. Actually all my friends could care less because I really wouldn't surround myself with someone who would be so offended by that.

I hate to sound cliched but it seems like in this time race is a waste of time. Things are so mixed right now. It's interesting to see just how mixed and segregated the different ethnicities are becoming at the same time. Mixing up for diversity, but everyone wants to get back to their roots (me included) -- it's interesting to see how society is balancing this whole issue.

I actually see a lot of Asian men with black women. I say go for it. If you have something to offer each other, enjoy it. You only live once, right (well, maybe not, according to Buddah . . .anyway)

Asia

PS -- Kobe is marrying a Filipina?? Good taste!! (ok, I am biased)

Do what you feel when it comes to dating. However, the thing that I don't like about our black male celebrities is that they get their non-white wife, everything is fine, they have one or two children... then you hear "reports of abuse,etc." or like in Montell Williams' case, you get a disease and 'ole girl leaves. Then, you want to "come back" to the sympathetic, empathetic black community. Look at OJ, OoooooKKKKKK!

Look at Bryant Gumbel(News Anchor) and his affairs. Especially while he was married.

Hmmm, interesting question. Personally, I've dated men of different ethnicities including my own simply because at the time that person had qualities that were appealing to me. We all as human beings have different tastes which doesn't make them right or wrong. My take is as long as the involved couple is doing it for the *right reasons* and they are happy and content with their choice, then it shouldn't matter.Where I live (San Francisco), interracial dating and marriage is quite common and I'm very used to seeing it. I think the bottom line with this issue is that it is a VERY PERSONAL choice and should be so. Not me or anyone else on this planet has the right to tell Kobe who to love and care about. Leave that to his heart. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

Black Men and White Women Is it a Problem?
 

Recently Kobe Bryant is engaged to marry a women outside of the black race. Many are commenting on his decision. Several Celebrities also tend to marry white women thus investing their monies back into the white community. Is this a problem for black women? I personally don't want any of these men but i always wonder why is it that black women don't seem to be as interested in dating outside of their race as black men are. Do the # of black men marrying white women really hurt us as black women and if so, then why. Just wanted to see what other sisters are thinking about this topic in the year 2000. And what can we do to stop this trend or should we even care?

also white women does it bother you when black women date white men also? just curious to know.

Everyone is free to make their own choices about who they want to date and even marry, regardless of race. This is America people!

Someone's comment in this thread is pretty questionable:
(Many men (particularly weak or insecure ones) don't want a strong woman who can question or even challenge them. They call it "attitude". )

Are you saying white women are NOT "strong women" who don't challenge their men?
Ha! You think only black women are like that??


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Http://www.geocities.com/hotformulab...o_my_world.htm

[This message has been edited by BlondeChick (edited May 23, 2000).]

Blonde Chick the brother didn't say that reread his post so you'll have it in context.

Being a STRONG WOMAN has nothing to do with the color of one's skin, it is all about the MIND. I know several women (black and white) who would "put a man in his place, when he tries to play her", and I know several women (black and white) who would let their man "knock them the hell out" if they were to try to put them in their place. It's all about the mind and how strong that is!!!

As far as black men and white women, as a black woman, I don't really care, AS LONG AS IT IS NOT MY MAN, I could care less who the next sister (black or white) has with her at night. Peace.

Well, to be honest. I think you have a choice as to who you date. If it's outside your particular race, Great! Love is a wonderful thing and I'm happy that we all feel it. I've dated men outside of my race before. However, I have always found more white men attractive (I am white) than any other race. I don't know why that is, it could be based upon how my parents raised me, the fact that i'm white, or what have you. But I find myself also attracted to a certain type of white men as well. Very tall, thin, and dark hair. I've always seemed to go for that. So maybe it's the fact that I find certian things sexy. I go for tall, thin black me as well, but not as often. So I don't think that I base it on race all that much really, but Characteristics such as what I've mentioned and personality, humor, and intelligence also play a factor in my decision.

I'd like to bring up another factor for this topic. Parents. I've not been able to tell my parents when I've dated a man from another race. It's sad, I know. They believe that we should "stick to our own." They claim that they aren't racist, but that whites should stick with whites. . .etc. etc. So the question is, how do we deal with parents like mine with this issue? What percautions do we take? How do we prepare? Do we take into consideration what our parents think when we look for a mate?

What are your thoughts?

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Mikki Gates
Delta Zeta Alum
Kappa Mu Chapter
Sigma Alpha Iota Alum
Eta Tau Chapter

"I would rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special."

--Julia Roberts
(Steel Magnolias)

Visit me at:
http://homepages.go.com/~dzkm433/index.html
and
http://www.calypso.com/dzkm433/welcomtomyworld.chtml

Personally, I am against interracial dating. I believe that the wounds of slavery and racism are just too deep. I believe in any race dating except blacks and whites.

In response to Mikki's question, I have had the same exact problem. I was told by my father that if I ever dated anyone that was not of my same background, I would be disowned. I have found a solution that works, at least for me.

I told my parents, before they met the man in question, that I was seeing someone I really cared about. I let them know that while I did not understand or agree with my fathers viewpoint (my mother does not care) I acknowledged that he had one. I also let him know that I was now an adult. I was treating the situation as an adult and I expected him to do the same. I wanted to be as happy as possible, and this man was so very good to me. I wanted them to meet him and not keep this portion of my life from them. I made a commitment to myself before the discussion that i would not allow it to become confrontational, and I let them know I did not want to fight.

Ya know, I was amazed at how it all went down. He was more receptive than I thought and agreed to meet him. I would love to tell you that my father accepted my boyfriend and all was well, but that is not the case. My father never fully accepted him, but at least we did not fight about it anymore and I was not hiding anything (Mom thought he was great! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif ). Most of all, my father was cordial to him when they did meet, something I was extremely concerned about.

As for whether or not to take parents feelings into consideration - let them know you are aware of the way they feel, but this is your life you are living, you are not finding a mate for them.

I know a discussion won't solve every problem, but it may help your family to see that there are worthwhile people everywhere and color does not have to be an issue.

well if everyone thought like you guys the world would be a better place indeed. Can you please spread the same wisdom to your peers and families so that everyone can stop looking at race or ethnicity whatever you want to call it in how it we treat and see one another. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

I have to agree with Shalom on this one. I do not beleive in interracial dating among whites and blacks. Any other race is fine I suppose. If a Black person knows their history I mean really KNOWS their history and can look A WHITE person in their face I say more power to you. I do not forgive and forget in this case. It was just in the sixties that we were able to sit down in a restaurant or go to school etc. with a white person. So I do not understand why ANY Black person would want one in their bed. It was just a year or two ago two white men tied a Black man up to their truck and rode around until his head fell off! I know a million WHITE and BLACK people will say "well you can not blame all white people some are okay" yea sure but they still are running things and I do blame them cause not much has changed. I ask my Black sisters and brothers what do you REALLY have in COMMON with a White person. Do they feel your pain? Do they understand your plight? Are they trying to make a difference that will benefit you? As far as Kobe I do not know what race his girl is but for famous men and other Black men that date white women........ I will pray one day you wake up and see the light. If you do not then to hell with ya we do not need ya any way. This topic is so deep for me I will not even go out with a mixed guy or a Black guy if I know he has dated a white woman. Black PEOPLE lose my respect when they run back to the "master" looking for love when they need too embrace the love of their own people! That was just my 50 cents

Knowing your history is good, but honestly some of what you said is bullshit. If I don't give a damn what ethnicity the woman I'm dating is then I'm not "running to the master" or however the hell you put it. People like you are just part of the problem so that the world stays segregated and there is always tension between "blacks" and "whites". So if you and all those other closed minded sisters out there don't wanna date this brother because he dated a white girl, then to hell with you! Stop bitching and claiming all the good men are taken and open up your damn minds! I know of at least one girl who wanted to talk to me claiming I was fine and goodlooking until she found out I had dated a white girl...your loss.

I'm white, and I guess this is what a typical white woman would say, but no, you can't blame me for what my ancestors did. I'm smarter than that, and I have no respect for those that still act that way. My question is, do you consider yourself to be racist toward whites? You obviously have a problem with white people, and that is being predjudice. So how does that make you any better? I'm sorry for what my ancestors have done to your people, but now, you are being hypocritical. I know someone will say that I'm the racist one now that I've said that. Yes, white people through out history have supressed black people, but I as a women am not predjudice against men because they supressed women in the past, and they still are supressing women to this day. I also don't hate people of different religion, even though they have discriminated against me and my ancestors for being pagans. I could have been burned at the stake along with thousands of other women during the burning times. I don't hold that against Christians, because I know now that people are more educated and more intelligent. Many many people feel very sorry for what lies in the past. Don't hold the people today responsible for what the people of yesterday did. Discrimination still happens today, but not just toward black people. It happens toward women, Jews, pagans (witches), asians, etc. etc. as well. I know I will never change your mind, and this is just a lost cause, but think about all the hate that remains in the world because we can't forgive one another. We bring our children into this hate everyday. We should let it go and learn to love one another. Not just whites and blacks, but everyone.

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Mikki Gates
Delta Zeta Alum
Kappa Mu Chapter
Sigma Alpha Iota Alum
Eta Tau Chapter

"I would rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special."

--Julia Roberts
(Steel Magnolias)

Visit me at:
http://homepages.go.com/~dzkm433/index.html
and
http://www.calypso.com/dzkm433/welcomtomyworld.chtml

Well said mgdzkm433. Prettygyrl, in a way I understand you in regards to your bitterness about how whites treated us in the past, but you can't dwell on the past. I'm not saying forget about it. What our ancestors went through should never be forgotten. However, the healing should take place now. We shouldn't spend our entire lives scarred and wounded. Let's get up, dust ourselves off, and move on. Now moving on doesn't mean jumping in bed with a white person, but it does mean not continuing to let the past hinder your future. Particularly when it comes to love.

There really are some good whites out there. Don't judge someone on the actions of their ancestors. Judge them for their own actions. How would you like it if a white person mistreated you because in the past they had been robbed by a black person? You'd be pissed. Well you're doing the same thing.

Pretty i feel you. But bitterness only hinders us as a people. We can't change the past or make people treat us a certain way today. I gurantee you that the man that God has chosen for you will only have eyes for you, therefore we as black women don't need to be concerned about the few black men that desire white women it is only our own insecurity that makes us feel threatened when really they are no threat at all. We all have preferences and its ok http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gifwe still have plenty of black men who desire chocolate http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

prettygyrl wrote:
"Any other race is fine I suppose. If a Black person knows their history I mean really KNOWS their history and can look A WHITE person in their face I say more power to you. I do not forgive and forget in this case."

Did you forget that the majority of people who died while fighting for the freedom of slaves were white? If you are going to judge ALL white people based on history, then you should be grateful that the majority of white people did not believe in slavery. Sure, some white people owned slaves many years ago. Did you know that it was another group of WHITE people who died fighting for slaves to be free? (Yes, I know not only white people died during the civil war - but they were the majority).

How do you determine whose ancestors were bad and whose were good? Are you nice to the white people whose ancestors fought for your freedom but mean to those whose ancestors were confederates? Since they are all white, how could you possibly tell the difference just by the color of their skin? And what about people who are now racists, but their ancestors were not? If you judge white people based on history & not on their own actions, you would need to love the racist whose ancestors died for your freedom.

Did you know that black people had white slaves even before the Americas were discovered? I'm talking about when the moores (did I spell that right) conquered a part of italy, made many of the people slaves and tried to breed out the italian blood by raping the italian women. I guess this makes all black people bad now, doesn't it?

prettygyrl wrote:
"just a year or two ago two white men tied a Black man up to their truck and rode around until his head fell off"

I'm sure the vast majority of ALL PEOPLE would agree that this was a horrible crime regardless of who committed it. Did you know that 'just a year or two ago' a white man was beat to death by a mob of black people after getting in a car accident? They were the judge, jury & executioner. But I guess that is okay with you prettygyrl, the guy who was killed was white.

prettygyrl, I make this easy for you:

Bad things happen to good people. Bad things happen to bad people. Not all white people are bad. Not all white people are good. Not all black people are bad. Not all black people are good. Not all little green men will melt you with their lasergun. My point? Stop looking at the colors and start looking at the actions. Stop standing in the way of social progress and instead become a part of it.

Very well said. I agree 100%.

Username i agree with some of your post, but on a few points i have to differ. The Civil war was not fought over slavery. Lincoln said that if he could unite all the states and not free one slave he would, and he also owned slaves. Infact the Civil war was fought over State Rights, slavery being just one of the issues. White men did not put their lives on the line simply to free black people, but to make the southern states in particular see how serious the north was about the disunity that had formed politically and economically between the states. I don't claim to be an expert, but any historian will tell you this. If in fact it was over slavery then there would have been no jim crow laws in the south and in the north no massive violations of civil rights even to this day, if they wanted to help black folks gain equality that is.
In addition many blacks and whites have tried to put aside the difficulties of the past, but it has not stoped the hatred that still persist in our country. Hatred goes deeper then some of us want to believe (and little green men and laser guns really is an insult and not funny considering what blacks have been thru in this country neither would a jew i'm sure appreciate that comment considering their plight in europe and even in the US, but i don't expect you to understand), yes racism it is ridiculous on the surface but some still take race very seriously. Anyway i don't go around blaming whites for my problems, but i will always remember my history (cause it did directly affect my people) so that i will not
turn around and let those who would try get the chance to repeat it.

So you want to talk about history..one of my fave subjects..

Positively AKA is right, the Civil War was all about politics. The south was ticked off because Abe wasn't going to allow any more slave states in the union (meaning eventually, maybe slavery would die off in the existing slave states, but not necessarily). That would mean that non-slave states would start to gain more voting power (if you don't know why, watch some School House Rock ) and eventually the slave states would lose most of their battles. It wasn't just about slaves, but lifestyle: slave states were plantations and agriculture, non-slave states were industry. Abe was smart enough to use slavery as a vehicle to unite the common man of the north. While slavery wasn't his big concern, I'm still happy he choose to fight to do away with it.

Regarding slavery in general:
Slavery existed forever before the U.S. The big issue w/ the U.S. is that we are the first country (since the Pharoas enslaved the Hebrews) to limit slavery to one race. I am not advocating any kind of slavery, just sharing the facts. Most slavery was to pay off debt, sometimes the person got screwed (see Gladiator, whatever... but it didn't matter what their race/ethnicity was. So, a black enslaved to a Roamn could earn or buy their freedom. An interesting, although sad, fact to add here:
When the big slave trade to the U.S. started, many of the slave were captured and sold by (black) Africans. Sometimes just for the money, other times to keep their own tribe out of trouble, it depends. (I learned this in my (high school) freshman World Cultures class, in case you were wondering about its accuracy. I don't recall the name of our text, though).
Once the U.S. got slaves, it couldn't stay in business without them, at least not all of the plantation owners. (They couldn't have paid that many people to do that much work and still prospered). So keeping slaves was, from THEIR viewpoint (not my beliefs) a necessity to their (selfish) well-being. And then you have the issue I mentioned above w/ the voting power.

So, do I look at race when choosing a mate (or date)? No. I'm a white American (German, Irish, Scotch-Irish, and tiny bit Native American) and my boyfriend considers himself either white or Latino, depending on when you ask him. (he's both Italian and Hispanic in origin, and a tiny bit of German, and was raised 'white'). I think it's a shame that race has to be an issue, but I'm not going to act like it isn't either. I know my folks are pretty open-minded, so I hope that if I ever brought home a guy of another race it wouldn't be an issue, but I don't know if it would or not.

I am about to say somethinig that will sound stereotyped, and it is, ..I don't think it is always true, but often it is which is why it's a stereotype in the first place.

Most of the relationships between black men and white women which I have witnessed seem to consist of the black man treating the white girl like trash. Someone talked about strong women earlier in this topic, and I kind of think they are right.

On the flip side, when I see white men with black women (which is much less common around here) they both seem to treat each other with a lot of love and respect.

-(End of my stereotypes.)

As Mikki said, please don't hold me (a white person) accountable for the actions of people who may or more than likely may not have been part of the problem (most of my known ancestors have only been here a short time). Yes, black have been treated s****y by U.S. society, NO, it's not okay, and YES I would like to see it change. Just as I would like to see society embrace all sexes, races, genders, and backgrounds. It's a long battle, but staying bitter isn't going to help any of us get past it. Don't forget the past, but don't dwell in it, either.

(stepping of the soap box now http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif)

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SilverTurtle@greekchat.com
Phi Beta Fraternity
Phi chapter

[This message has been edited by SilverTurtle (edited May 24, 2000).]

[This message has been edited by SilverTurtle (edited May 24, 2000).]

PositivelyAKA, I do understand your point that there were other political issues between the Union & the Confederacy but slavery was definitely the main one. Slavery was the driving force which caused the confederate states to separate from the union and which lead our contry into civil war. The confederate states separated because they wanted to keep slavery, the union states fought to unite the country which directly led to the abolition of slavery. Uniting the states would have taken power away from the small group of slave states, which would have eventually ended slavery through the political process. But, if we only relied on the political process, slavery may have lasted many more decades than it did. The union victory directly led to the immediate abolition of slavery and the start of the social process between the white & black cultures. Yes, white men did die for the freedom of slaves. A law was able to make slavery illegal overnight but it cannot change *feelings/opinons* that fast. Changing the *feelings/opinions* is what takes social progress.

About my statement that "Not all little green men will melt you with their lasergun" in my previous post, please read that statement with regards to the context that I put it in. My point within that whole paragraph was to say that no matter the color, even if the person/being is a little GREEN man (from outer space), it does not mean they want to harm you or that they hold bad feelings towards you. An individual's character does not come from their COLOR, it comes from their inner-self. I do apologize if you (or anyone else) took offense to the 'little green man' statement, that was definitely not my intention.

Prettygryl,

How long are you going to be angry at the world? I'm not saying your feelings aren't valid, they are very valid, but my friend you really need to channel that NEGATIVE ENERGY into something positive. Insted of seeing color, see the good in people. You sound like you're young (agewise) and still have a lot of living to do. Don't be so bitter. Life sucks when you're always angry. When you find that peaceful place in your self, I hope you can make the journey with the rest of us.

theXgirl

First of all thanks AKA for undestanding me some. I never said I did not like white people! I said I would not date them. I also said that I just do not like the whole idea of whites mixing with Blacks as far as relationships go. Someone asked if I consider myself a racist? Honestly, I do not but some say I am. I do not hate people of any race, first of all! I would never commit a hate crime or say deragatory things to white people just because, I am better than that! I was exspressing my feelings on interracial dating. But...... honestly it makes no difference to me or not if i ever see another white person ya know. I mean if they all picked up and moved or whatever I would not miss them at all. Take that how you want. Believe it or not I have white friends and white people in my family so to speak but I still would not EVER be with one in a relationship. I would hope and pray that my children will not but if they do then thats up to them. I don't like it now and I won't ever like it but it happens and it will continue to happen so you know youlearn to live with it. As for the white woman that posted saying that her answer was typical "do not blame me for what my ancestors did". I do not have to cause your people continue to do it. It is not your fault entirely but what are you doing to help the current problems? I have a mixed nephew I love him to death. I also feel bad for him for what he may have to go through in life. I suppose I am bitter but not just because of the past...also because of the present I mean some of you speak as if alot is different now. Get real!!! I am mostly bitter that alot of my people still think that one day everyone will be equal in this world and we will all be treated the same so they have this forgiveness for white people. Please!!! In all reality are struggle will continue until we find some love among our own people and unite together! Instead of trying to unite with the white people! I am not saying hate them I am just saying see them for what they really are and quit trying to gain their respect and accetptance! THE BOTTOM LINE IS WHITE PEOPLE DO NOT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT US!! I DO NOT CARE HOW MANY OF THEM WE DATE OVER ALL THEY DO NOT CARE. AS LONG AS WE STAY IN OUR PLACE AND CONTINUE TO KILL OURSELVES AND HATE ONE ANOTHER THEY WILL BE CONTENT! SO IF WHO EVER WANTS TO "LOVE" THEM GO AHEAD DO YOUR THING. YOU BELIEVE WHAT YOU BELIEVE AND I BELEIVE WHAT I BELEIVE PERIOD. I DO NOT HATE WHITE PEOPLE.........BUT I DO NOT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THEM EITHER. YOU KNOW KIND OF LIKE THE KID IN YOUR CLASS THAT YOU KNOW IS IN THERE BUT YOU DO NOT KNOW HIS NAME NEVER REALLY TALKED TO HIM SO YOU CAN NOT SAY YOU LIKE HIM OR DISLIKE HIM AND ONE DAY IF HE STOPS COMING YOU DO NOT EVEN NOTICE OR IF YOU DO YOU DO, YOU DO NOT GIVE A FUCK! THATS HOW I FEEL ABOUT WHITE PEOPLE! MUCH LOVE TO ALL MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS! OH AND TO THE GUY THAT SAID HE DATES ANY RACE HE WANTS TO AND DOES NOT CARE WHAT PEOPLE THINK......OKAY BUT WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO EXPLAIN THAT TO ME WHO ARE YOU TRYING TO CONVINCE! DATE WHO YOU LIKE HELL I DO NOT WANT YOUR ASS ANYWAY!!!! ITS LIKE AKA SAID THE MAN THAT I FIND WILL LOVE ME AND ONLY ME! HE WILL NOT HAVE TO LOOK FOR A WHITE WOMAN TO FLOSS ON HIS ARM FOR HIM TO FEEL LIKE HE IS SOMEONE!!! AND FOR THE GIRL WHO SAID THAT BLACK MEN TREAT WHITE WOMEN LIKE SHIT.......THATS NOT TRUE CAUSE MY BROTHER TREATS HIS GIRLFIREND GREAT AND MOST MEN I KNOW USUALLY HAVE TREATED THE SISTERS LIKE SHIT THEN THEY GET WITH THE WHITE GIRL AND TREAT HER LIKE QUEEN ELIZABETH AND WHAT KILLS ME ABOUT THAT AND ABOUT MOST BROTHERS THAT ARE DATING WHITE WOMEN IS MOST OF THE TIME THEY CAN NOT EVEN GO TO HER PARENTS HOUSE AND BREAK BREAD WITH THEM! HALF THE TIME THE WOMAN HAS TO HIDE THE FACT THAT SHE IS DATING HIM! MY BROTHER BEEN WITH HIS GIRL FOR SEVEN YEARS AND HER FATHER JUST CAME OVER TO THEIR HOUSE FOR THE FIRST TIME!! ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS IS MIXED AND HER WHITE GRAND PARENTS STILL WILL NOT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH HER AND SHE IS 25 AND HER SIS IS 20! ONE OF MY COUSINS WHO IS DATING A WHITE GIRL HAS BEEN WITH HER SINCE SHE WAS 14 AND NOW SHE IS 19 THEY HAVE A BABY AND HER FATHER STILL DO NOT KNOW THE BABIES FATHER IS BLACK(HE LOOKS WHITE NOW) WHEN SHE THREW A BIRTHDAY PARTY FOR THE BABY SHE HAD TO HAVE TWO, ONE FOR THE BLACK FAMILY (US) AND ONE FOR THE WHITE FAMILY! ONE OF MY OTHER COUSINS IS MARRIED TO A WHITE WOMAN AND HAS BEEN FOR THREE YEARS THEY HAVE TO LIVE IN DIFFERENT CITYS SO HER PARENTS WILL NOT FIND OUT CAUSE IF THEY DO SHE WILL NOT GET ANY OF "DADDYS" MONEY SO SHE HAS TO SNEAK AWAY TO SEE HER HUSBAND!! I COULD GO ON FOR DAYSSSSSSSS!! BUT YALL GET THE POINT! BUT ITS OKAY AS LONG AS THEY ARE IN LOVE RIGHT? I SAY BULLSHIT TO THAT! ANYONE ELSE CAN SAY WHATEVER THEY LIKE!

Personally, I love to see my brothers and sisters together (it's a beautiful thing) but love knows no color (at least that's what I believe) http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gifand if you can find it with someone outside of your race then go for it.
However it does puzzle me (not enough to anger me) that when some black men get a little success they run outside. If it's love great, but if it's because they think "the grass is greener on the other side" that is a problem. It's not a problem for me though (or many other women) because there are a lot of black men out there who love them a beautiful black woman (I know a lot of them).
Black women (or women in general) don't get upset at this. If you think a man chooses a woman because of the color of her skin, then that is NOT the type of man you want.
I know this is a very diverse board. Let's not make this black-n-white. Do any other women of different ethnicities (sp?) have opinions on this?

prettygyrl wrote:
"I never said I did not like white people!"... "But...... honestly it makes no difference to me or not if i ever see another white person ya know. I mean if they all picked up and moved or whatever I would not miss them at all."... "Believe it or not I have white friends and white people in my family."

How could you have white friends/family and say these kinds of things? You would not miss your friends/family if you were to never see them again? How can you even consider these white people to be your friends when you feel this way towards all white people?


prettygyrl wrote:
"I do not have to cause your people continue to do it. It is not your fault entirely but what are you doing to help the current problems?"

It is not my (our) fault entirely? It is not my fault at all. Judging a group of people based on what individuals do is the basis of prejudice & stereotyping which leads to racism. What am I doing to help the current problems? I surely do not do what you do - that is, I do not judge people based on the color of their skin. I do not judge people based on their ethnicity. I DO judge *individuals* based on their own actions.


prettygyrl wrote:
"I mean some of you speak as if alot is different now. Get real!!! I am mostly bitter that alot of my people still think that one day everyone will be equal in this world and we will all be treated the same so they have this forgiveness for white people. Please!!! In all reality are struggle will continue until we find some love among our own people and unite together! Instead of trying to unite with the white people!"

Depending on the times in history you are comparing to, yes, things are a lot different now. Things are VERY different now than they were 200 years ago, but not much different than 1 year ago. About everyone one day being treated as equals, based on color, sex, ethnicity (etc) - I sure hope that this one day happens. But when it comes to merit (as individuals) equality makes no sense. By this I mean when it comes to things like choosing between students to accept for college or choosing who gets hired for a job, it should have nothing to do with color/sex/ethnicity and have everything to do with who has the most experience, knowledge, grades, etc.

You say, "Instead of trying to unite with the white people!" I think the majority of people who are uniting, aren't doing so because of color. I think it has more to do with common interests as citizens of the U.S.A. We all want a better country with less crime, less poverty, less hate - less bad & more good. When it comes to the *big picture* (the worldwide community) - we are ALL seen as Americans. There are people in the world (of all colors, white/black/etc) who would like to see many of our freedoms taken away and our country turn communist. Maybe one day our country will see first hand why we need to be united. Maybe that day will be when our shores are invaded and our freedoms at stake. United WE stand, divided WE fall.


In response to most of what you wrote in caps:
You describe how the grandparents are VERY unaccepting of the different colors. The parents are more accepting, but not totally. The children, well, many of them are in love (regardless of color). Your statements pretty much show a timeline of social progress. Our society may not be perfect (and may never be), but we are getting closer to that goal each and every day.

Pretty,

To me it's like amost 2 people have written your last post. First you say "I Do Not hate people of any race, first of all." But then you go on to say some things that can be considered insulting. In your first post, you stated "So I don not understand why ANY Black person would want one in their bed." I'm sorry, but that IS insluting. If I had said "so I don't know why an white person would want one(black person) in their bed." I would have imediatly been considered racist, predjudice, disriminatory, whatever you want to call it, and I probably would have been banned from the message board for it. The fact of the matter is, you are probably right. We will never have true equality in this world most likely. There will always be someone out there that thinks they are better than someone else based on skin color, gender, age, what have you. But how are we going to know that we can't stop it unless we try to stop it? And what am I doing about it as a white person? Well first off, I don't practice those beliefs, I'm not adding to the hate either. I might not have a national campaign going or anything, but I have never NEVER discriminated against anyone because of their race. Second, you obviously don't care if things get better or worse because it seems that you have given up. What are You doing to make things beter? Even though you say you don't hate white people, your words really make you seem to. From what I've read in your posts, you have a serious problem with white people. As for parents looking down at their daughters/sons dating someone black. Yes, my parents are like that, and it sucks and I Hate it. Its a fact I have to live with and any person I've dated that was of a different race (not just black). BUT, I've dated guys who's parent could not meet ME because I was white. It might not be as common, but the door swings both ways. I also have met guys who couldn't take me home, not because I was white but because I am pagan. So I've had people discriminate against me because I'm white and because of my religion. It's not fun, no, but I deal with it, and I don't hate all black people because of what my b/f's parents thought. And I don't hate Christians because my b/f's parents didn't agree with my religion. I hate to say it, but don't try to make it seem that it only happens to black people. It doesn't. Like I said, with the parent issue, the door swings both ways.

I'm gonna make this short and sweet Pretty...fuck you. I do not need to find a white girl to "floss on my arm to make me feel like someone". I have way too many things going on for me to be that ignorant. Its people like you that'll end up alone because of your pig-headed, ignorant ass attitudes. So what would you do if after dating a guy and sleeping with him, he tells you that a white girl was lying next to him in the exact same spot that you are lying in?
If I ever met you (yes you would want me), that's what I would do to you.