Are you close to your Big/Lil?
 

Maybe I have an idealogical view that most people should be best friends or at least very close to their Bigs/Lils.

I have already put in a lot of time painting and decorating so my little (whoever she may end up being) can have really unique special things. I am just a little fearful of ending up with a little that will drop out for some reason or another, or end up not being very compatable with me, because I know once I get a little I will be very dedicated to making sure she feels welcome and at home in our sisterhood.

What are YOUR thoughts on the importance of Bigs/Lils, and what are your personal experiences with your Big/Lil? Do you wish you could have had someone else as your Big or Little? Have you had any particularly wonderful/awful experiences regarding this? Any suggestions for finding a little you can really click with?

My big was the best. She was a mentor in every sense of the word, not to mention the prettiest and coolest girl in the chapter (IMO). My 2big and 3big were awesome also. We had fun together, and she was always there for me. We now work in the same building, albeit 30 floors apart.

My little pledged with her roommate and best friend, and while I liked her a lot, I think that she was so independent I didn't get to play as much of a mentor role as I wanted to - plus she was always with her best friend. We got along well, but I never felt the same relationship w/ her I had w/ my big. My little little I refer to as my little - she pledged partly cause of me, and she is my best friend. So I do feel a little better that it was kept "in the family."

My only recommendation would be don't pick someone as a little who comes in as part of a "package deal" - they tend to already be tight w/ the people they pledged with. If you have freshman rush though, that probably won't happen.

i can understand your frustration. i am very close with my big sister. even years after we both have graduated, we talk regularly and we meet for dinner monthly. when she first became my big, i wasn't sure that we would click so much. she was very quiet, so i didn't know her that well. we did make time to meet outside of phi mu activities. it was usually for dinner or to watch friends. i found out that she wasn't nearly as quiet as everyone thought!!! she has turned out to be a very wonderful friend and i wouldn't trade her for the world. the thing is that we took the time to get to know one another. we also didn't become instant best friends. it wasn't until my second year, that we became really close.

now, my little, on the other hand.....my chapter was small at the time and sisters did not choose their littles...only littles chose bigs.
i liked the person that i was given. she and i had the same major, had a few other interests in common, but she was also really quiet. i tried soooooo hard to get that girl to talk to me. we would meet for dinner and she would just sit there quietly. her best friend was also my twin, so we would have family dinners and we just weren't able to make any connections. i can't say that we really did give it a good chance. i hated that i wasn't close with my little, especially since i had the greatest big, but i didn't know what to do. my twin hasn't talked to my big since her graduation. my little and i haven't talked to each other since my graduation.

my advice: try to get to know your big outside of zeta. pick a day that you meet every week for lunch or for dinner. invite her to the library for a study session. find something that you both have to do and see when you can do it together! this will give you a low pressure way to start to get to know each other. the one thing that i have learned is that the big/little relationship has many unrealistic expectatations. you think that you will be soulmates or best friends forever, but most of the time, it doesn't happen that way. make your best effort to get to know that person, but don't feel like a failure if you don't make it work. if your little happens to transfer, that doesn't mean you can never speak again!! there are no sure fire methods to picking "the right" person. plus, some people may not think the relationship is as important as you do. if all else fails, you can always adopt a little!!

to end this on a positive note: i had an adopted little in college. she and i still talk regularly and see each other whenever we can. a few months ago, i was at homecoming and a sister who i had always wished was my little and i knew always wished that i was her big started talking about bigs/ littles. i told her that i would adopt her as my little....and i did. so 5 years after graduation, i got a new little!! we talk weekly (which we hadn't until after homecoming) and we made plans to meet in a few weeks when i will be in the state. it is never too late to get a great little sis!!!

The story with me and my big started out really funny. When we were matched up and the new member ed person called my big and told her that she got me she was totally shocked. Everyone was afraid that I wouldn't like her. She was really afraid that I hated her. I had never given her that idea because I had only talked to her a couple of times. When I found out who she was I was really excited. Everyone was so relieved that I was happy with her.
The rest of that semester was great. We spent every afternoon with each other, doing homework, having dinner, just hanging out. Well this semester she moved off campus and she has totally changed. I hardly ever see her. She is either working, studying, with her roomate (who I can't stand) and she never has time for me. She thinks that if we eat lunch once a week that we are hanging out. I guess I just expected more out of our friendship than she did.
She was in the sorority 3 years before she got a little. I am starting to believe that she just likes the idea of having a little, not really wanted me. I might just be too sensitive, oh well.
Anne Marie

Sorry for rambling on so much...:D

The best big sis
 

My big sister and I have become super close. We clicked instantly because we had the same sense of humor and are really goofy. Actually, some people think we carry our jokes and goofiness overboard. We on the other hand think we are the funniest people alive :) We hang out all the time and I honestly feel like I could tell her anything. She is extremely busy (she took like 19 hrs last semester) but she always makes time to hang out with me outside of Chi O stuff. Sunday is our day to do stuff together: we go to church and then to lunch and then at night we meet in the library to study together after chapter. Even if we don't hang out during the week, we always see each other on Sunday! She resolved at the beginning when she decided to take a little, that she was going to be "the best damn big sis ever!" And, oh my goodness, she has! I don't think I could ask for anything more out of my relationship with my big, and I definitely know how lucky I am to have such a great relationship with her because a lot of my pledge sisters don't hang out with their bigs much. She rocks my face off :D

I love my lineage!!!
 

When it comes to picking a big sis, the all of the new members get a new sponsor every week that they meet with and get to know. After a few weeks, they get to pick who they want for their big and the older girls pick who they want for their littles.

My big sis and I hit it off immeadiately!! We met for lunch, and she was invited to my birthday dinner a couple of weeks later. We knew that we were meant to be, so it was an easy choice for both of us. The two of us would get together once a week or so and hang out with my big big sis as well.

I had a similar experience with my little sis this fall. I met with her and we had dinner with a couple of other sisters and really enjoyed talking to each other. She even mentioned that she was sad that when we got back from fall break, I wouldn't be her sponsor anymore. We talk online a lot and go to dinner sometimes.

I can't wait to see them both when i get back!!!


Lacey

My big sister rocks. I knew I wanted her as my big sis from day one and I told her so. She's two years older than me and also from Illinois, and she was also an aerospace engineering major. She just got a job after graduation at United Space Alliance as a structural engineer for the shuttle orbiter! :eek:

While she is a little bit better of a student, we're both very strong academically and were in quite a few organizations together. When she was President of Student Ambassadors, I was Secretary, and she was so excited when I was elected Vice President the following year. She's just great. She was Greek Woman of the Year the spring after I was initiated, so I was so proud of her. She had been Panhellenic President and worked her butt off and was just amazing. She's talented in so many ways, and on top of that, is an amazing Alpha Phi who knows what sisterhood is all about.

I'm hoping to get a Little soon. The thing is though, that I want to have as great of a relationship with her as I do with my Big Sis. I want her to want ME, not just end up with me. I just don't want a girl to be disappointed to be my little because I would have been disappointed with anyone else but Jenn.

However, a girl who I've known for years and is now a student at Florida Tech is thinking about rushing finally. She told me a few years ago that she wanted to join my sorority and be my little sister. She is like my real-life little sister already and I am very excited and I really hope that she joins Alpha Phi because I think it will do so much for her, and I think she will do a lot for the organization. We'll see after next week! :)

I totally understand the "package deal" thing, as many girls tend to be closest to those who were in the same dorm, rush group, classes, etc, before they became sisters. Unfortunatley for me, none of the girls I knew from my dorm ended up being Zetas, and many didn't even rush, so I felt sort of alone until I got to know my sisters. Now a lot of the sisters I have hung out with the most are graduating or going Alum within the next year or so, while I'm only a sophomore.

I love my Big Sis!
 

My big is the first ZTA I met during Formal Recruitment. She is the one that picked me up at the door, we instantly cliqued. She was the ZTA who "preffed" me as well. We have been extremely close friends ever since! I feel so lucky to have her as my big. She was very active in the chapter and served as a great role model. We also have a lot of things in common. In fact, we got engaged within a month of each other. She was in my wedding in 2001, and I was in hers August 2002. Our husbands even have a lot of similar personality traits!

I also have a little that I am not quite as close too, but we still talk all of the time. I have been alum for about two years, and she is getting ready to graduate, so we're not able to hang out very often. However, I think that we have a great relationship and also have many similar interests.

I'm also lucky that our entire "family" is close. My grand lil sis had a "family" gathering over Christmas break including my big down to my great great grand lil sis!!

My big is the coolest. I didn't know her too well when it came time to pick bigs, but she had gone out of her way when she was my pledge pal (as pledges, we were assigned a different active every week for about 6 weeks to get to know them) to spend time with me outside of DZ functions, so I picked her, and it turned out to be the best decision ever. She was always there for me in every respect, and is someone I credit with who I am today.

My littles were slightly different--it was a mutual process in our chapter, kind of like bid matching, and all my li'ls were my first choice (I have 3 official, 1 adopted when her big turned in her badge). My first official was fun & energetic & I loved hanging out with her. My second, I hate to say it, guilted me into taking a little that semester (the old "I'll depledge if you dont' pick me as your li'l"...which I fell for). I had nothing in common with her, and she complained alot about DZ and I couldn't deal with it. She ended up turning in her badge after I graduated & I haven't heard from her since. Third little has become one of my best friends...we clashed a little while we were still in school, but now that we are "grown-ups" we have a special bond.

Bigs/Lils are pretty important in my opinion. I don't think everyone should be allowed to take one (harsh, I know).... It sounds like you are putting alot of thought into it thought-and your little will be so fortunate to have you.

My family is kinda cut-throat about getting who we want... My big fought for me... and we were close until she kinda distanced herself from the sorority because of stress...and I so understand... our family also has this thing with people usually not liking us... (yes its happening to me too - yet they all like my little...)

I wanted my little for my little the second I met her... and she wasnt rushing yet! I knew her through her best friend... and I was like "DOOD, thats my little!" I was so happy she waited until Spring!

We chose my two little Jen, together. I told Sarah, my lil, that Jen was totally awesome and when she met her, she agreed! (Jen is SO my mini me!!!!) She also broke the family curse! (more on that in a sec!)

We all again, chose Erin, my three little (Im showing my age...) she was a bit crazy like all of us...but it worked!

**My Phi Sig family curse...
The farthest I know back is Nicole, my 3. Nicole had a little...she got in...and then disaffiliated. Then she got Maura. Maura got a little, Julie... Julie got a little... Brianne... Brianne got in, disaffilated, Julie got me (second time is sooo much better!) I was told that I was not allowed to leave, and I took it to heart, thinking about it when I had hard times and wanted to... then I got Sarah... Sarah got Jen... Jen got in... AND STAYED! And broke the curse!! It goes farther back than Nicole!


My TBS big, we arent really close... we kinda just dont click... but my TBS little... she was already my friend!!!! :)

When I pledged I wasn't really that close to my big, but she was the only one I was closest to at the time and I was so happy that she was my big. She ended up not coming back this semester so my grandbig adopted me. We're kind of close, but not really. I'm totally not even that close to my little. Before we even found out who are little's were, she got close to my roommate and they're like best friend's. Whenever my little and I see each other it's just like "hi how are you?" Maybe when she moves in we'll get closer.

My big has become my best friend in the world. We are exactly alike. We think the same things at the same times, call each other at the same time, and complete each others sentences....sometimes it's a little scary:eek: We've helped each other so much and she's the one person that I know will always be there no matter what and stand by me whether I'm wrong or right. We even got best big/lil for our chapter! yay. We are having our first fight....and I don't know how to deal
However, I'm not as close to my little and she's not as close with her second little, but our family is very close all together. We're by far the craziest family in the chapter:D

being an independent person, and taking on positions in the sorority fairly early on while i was a sister meant that i didn't necessarily look to my diamond for a ton of mentor-type influence... but she has an amazing sense of humor, and i really can't see myself with anyone else as a big... same for my little diamond... she and i are a little closer, i rushed her and really encouraged her to join... and she's awesome, but even if i wasn't close with the two of them personally - i know that i could always depend on them as sisters, which is an amazing feeling, and i have so many other close and special friendships with other sisters that i could never feel that i wasn't a special part of my chapter.

now, in adpi, we no longer have bigs and littles, we have diamond sisters... however we do tend to still refer to each other as bigs and littles to differentiate between one another. diamonds are to be randomly assigned according to those who meet the requirements -- grades, financial responsibilities, etc. -- the earlier that diamonds are assigned the better, in fact our e.o. really emphasizes diamond matching on bid day... but it has to be done within that first week or so if not that first day... we try to make matches so that girls have something in common, or know one another through recruitment, or they preffed the new member, or what not... and have a nice fun diamond revealing activity, so that the girls get to know their diamond chain, but the first day, they get to know their pride the best.... they are the group of sisters that runs to the new member's door and picks her up on bid day (along with a violet sister, the specific person who reads the new member her bid card... this is an unofficial position, but does allow a one-on-one relationship to quickly develop within the chapter).

the way that our organization is really trying to get the chapters to use diamond sisters are as a mentor, sponsor for initiation, and another liason to the chapter to welcome new members, but ideally the chapter should place more emphasis on welcoming the new members into a "pride" -like lions-get it? ;)

within the chapter, prides are small groups of sisters, and throughout the new member period should be trying to form a relationship and get to know the new member. the idea is that the while the new member can form a close relationship one on one, a small group of sisters can form a close relationship as well, taking pressure off the diamond sister in case she doesn't have the closest/perfect relationship with her "little" and so that she does not necessarily have to spend loads of money on gifts and things... the chapter buys pride gifts for the new member period and initiation.

plus, if, despite all good intentions, the "big/little" relationship isn't as great as one may hope, the new sisters are less likely to feel alienated from the group/drop out if they have other sisters that they have already become friends with and built a relationship with. our advisor phrased it this way - if new members happen to become best friends/have an amazing friendship, that's just a bonus...

like i said, this is ideally how things are supposed to work, but chapters tend to have traditions built when it comes to diamond chains or 'families'... and finding ways to use prides as well as build relationships between these families is good and what we try to do so that new members have a well-rounded and positive experience as they are welcomed into the sisterhood.

I didn't get my big until the middle of my pledge semester and then the semester after i was initiated, she went on senior status and graduated after that spring. so she wasn't around as much when i was a newbie. however, we exchange emails and letters and phone calls now and then. we finally saw each other this last semester after being away from each other for 3 years. she is now engaged and is getting married in the summer. i couldn't be happier for her and i know she is thinking of me even tho she is in a different city.

i have two lils. one i live with and have had since my first active semester. we started out kinda awkard cuz i wasn't her first choice and she wasn't mine, but we have lived together as roomies for 2 years now. she got really involved with her boyfriend and work so i didn't see her as much and we didn't really hang out this last semester. but she is going thru a rough breakup now and it created a lot of tension in the apartment. i hope things can get better between us.
my other lil is older than me and i thought we had a lot of odd things in common... her now ex was named Ian (my dad's name) and he lived in Hayward (my hometown). Unfortunately I went alumna last semester so I didn't really get to hang out with her as much except when she was a new member. but we had good lil talks about life and whatnot. and she is fun to party with.
the thing i like the most about my lil is that they are both at least 9 inches taller than me... so they are my big lils :D

My big and I are not close we say hi and have "small talk" kind of conversations.....................I have like 6 or 7 littles...........my first has kinda distanced her self from the sorority shes not as active and etc ..............my 2nd everyone loves and shes the social head she kinda treats me like everyone else though............my 3rd quit because she wanted to be devoted to her other sorority................my 4th isan adopted big sis her big may or may not come back but shes half mine either way it goes because her big couldn't afford her towards the end of the new member period and we aren't close but we talk small talk some..........my 5th and I are very close on her application she put my name as the answer to how she heard about ASA ort something so I guess I kinda recruited her we joke around a lot and shes friends with some of my non greek friends............my 6th and I are not too too close............we got each other christmas presents and stuff but we don't hang out much out side of ASA events.......my chapter doesn't really promote having close friendships with bigs/littles...........if you want to you can but they don't care and noone has any money so the few that do or whoever has someone they want is who usually takes another little and since my financial situation usually allows me tio take one i usually take one which is why i have 6 lils:eek: But I would do anything for them or anyone of my sisters...............i love ASA!!!!!!!!!!!

My big (aka sexyaphi on GC) is the bestest in the whole wide world!! She and I have the best of times when we are together. She lets me be me and puts up with me when I'm being silly. She would come by my dorm room just to hang out and then say, "Let's go get Starbucks." She was the one who I would study with every night. Melanie was also the one who would ask me why I didn't go to class and ask if I had "dropped out." She's always kick me off of my lap top because she needed to chat with the crew. One day we were hanging out at her apartment debating on whether we should study (since we both had major exams the next day) --OR-- go to a community service event our chapter was having. The 5 o'clock news came on and mentioned something about the rodeo that was in town, so she and I got our things together and bypassed early studying for our exams and our community service event. This was in April and the semester was almost over and we knew that after the semester was over we wouldn't see each other for a long time since I was moving back home and she was moving away for graduate school. In fact, I haven't seen her since May of '02 (8 months ago), BUT SHE IS COMING TOMORROW TO VISIT ME FOR THE WEEKEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D I love my big!!!

My family is/was amazing. My Big, adopted Big (after my first big transferred for nursing school I was "adopted" by another sister), and my lil were my three best friends in college. I still keep in touch with them today. I was in two of their weddings - one isn't married yet, and they were all in mine.

5 years after college... We all live in different places so I don't get to see them as much as I would like, but we keep in touch via phone and e-mail all the time. See a true story about "sisterhood for a lifetime".

LeighAnn,

I think the reason your chapter might not have the big/little relationships as strong is because y'all are so new. It's hard to act as a mentor or a guide to someone when you're flying by the seat of your pants yourself. :) Did anyone propose you guys having alumnae bigs (although I don't know how many of your chapter alums are still, well, alive) or a big sister chapter?

My big went through a rough time in her life and she ended up disaffliating the next semester. We had hung out all of the time but when she distanced herself from sorority and me, I was extremely hurt. However, I understood why she was disaffliated. This past fall, I took on my first two littles(so many girls that we had to double up). Of course, I had been adopted into the PHI SIG MAFIA(the biggest family tree in the sorority. . .they even have godfather shirts with our letters and the little puppet hand on the back).
However, I passed her on my way to class once and asked her to stop by so I could show her something. When she came, I handed her a big sis paddle and introduced her to her 'grandbabies'. She broke down and apologized for leaving me stranded but I told her that I was okay. Now, we hang out once a week. . .whether it be hounding our fine ass basketball team or just going to see a movie.



When it comes to sorority life, there's only one way to go. . .PHI SIGMA SIGMA.

My Big Sis and I clicked on my Bid Day, and have been great friends ever since. :) Although distance keeps us apart, we both try to get together when we can --- particularly for special occasions. I was in her wedding, attended her first baby shower, and was the first DZ to hold her new legacy the day after she was born this past November. :D I know that she will do all of those things for me one day, too.

My own little sisters and I haven't been able to see each other in quite some time. My first little sis and I kept in touch, but lived too far away to visit. I did visit on her wedding day, though. Unfortunately, she and her husband live in North Carolina, so it's really tough to see each other.

My adopted little sister moved away after graduation, and I completely lost touch with her --- until last week! She and her husband recently moved to the area, and she was online searching for DZ alumnae chapters when she stumbled across my website. I was SO excited to hear from her, and now we're making plans to meet and catch up! :)

My Big and I roomed together in the dorms for a year and then a year and a half later we got an apartment together. We ended up being really good friends and I was closer to the people in her pledge class than I was to the people in my own, since the people in my pledge class kind of fell by the wayside. She was the first person in college who corrupted me. :D We still email back and forth every day, even after I've been gone for a year and a half. She was at my wedding five months ago, too. My Lil and I are also close. She was actually from my hometown and we were in church youth group together, so we had hit it off way before school started. She was also a bridesmaid in my wedding, so yeah, I'm really close to my Big and my Lil.

A similar problem...
 

I love my Big. She really has filled a void in my life....I'm the eldest child and I've always wanted a Big Sis. She's been there for me in some real tough times and we do hang out every now and then...Like we have a lab class together and we plan on eating lunch before that class each week and stuff. She's the most open sister I have (IMO)...I can open up to her and she opens up to me.

But what's weird is as much as she understands me, she just doesn't and I don't know if it's me or her. I'm an affectionate person and I've been told that I have a big heart and that I "wear it on my sleeve". I have bought my Big gifts for no reason...the most recent one she did get sorta mad at me about, and now she's alright with the idea, but I'll have to wait and see how she reacts to it. And it's not that I'm trying to "buy friendship or love"...that's just the way I am. I've bought gifts for my Grand-Big and for other sisters for no reason and they've never gotten after me...and it's not that I expect gifts back b/c I don't. I'd rather give a gift than get one. But my Big doesn't seem to understand that about me...she's like "you shouldn't have" and it's more of a literal tone rather than the way it's usually said.
And like, with my Grand-Big, I may just give her a random hug or lay my head on her shoulder and she's never said anything (if she cares that I do that)...but my Big, she's told me sometimes "don't lean on me" and like things. But what's weird about that is when something is totally wrong and I'm bawling my eyes out, she's one of the first to hold me in a tight embrace while I'm in tears. I remember one night after my parents left my dorm, I was so upset from that weekend and I called my Big, went over to the house and she just held onto me as I sobbed my heart out. But it's like when there's nothing wrong, she doesn't want me around at times, but she will never say that directly...I just get the feeling from how she acts.

A similar problem...
 

I love my Big. She really has filled a void in my life....I'm the eldest child and I've always wanted a Big Sis. She's been there for me in some real tough times and we do hang out every now and then...Like we have a lab class together and we plan on eating lunch before that class each week and stuff. She's the most open sister I have (IMO)...I can open up to her and she opens up to me.

But what's weird is as much as she understands me, she just doesn't and I don't know if it's me or her. I'm an affectionate person and I've been told that I have a big heart and that I "wear it on my sleeve". I have bought my Big gifts for no reason...the most recent one she did get sorta mad at me about, and now she's alright with the idea, but I'll have to wait and see how she reacts to it. And it's not that I'm trying to "buy friendship or love"...that's just the way I am. I've bought gifts for my Grand-Big and for other sisters for no reason and they've never gotten after me...and it's not that I expect gifts back b/c I don't. I'd rather give a gift than get one. But my Big doesn't seem to understand that about me...she's like "you shouldn't have" and it's more of a literal tone rather than the way it's usually said.
And like, with my Grand-Big, I may just give her a random hug or lay my head on her shoulder and she's never said anything (if she cares that I do that)...but my Big, she's told me sometimes "don't lean on me" and like things. But what's weird about that is when something is totally wrong and I'm bawling my eyes out, she's one of the first to hold me in a tight embrace while I'm in tears. I remember one night after my parents left my dorm, I was so upset from that weekend and I called my Big, went over to the house and she just held onto me as I sobbed my heart out. But it's like when there's nothing wrong, she doesn't want me around at times, but she will never say that directly...I just get the feeling from how she acts.

Unfortunately, I'm not close with either my big or my little :( We had a random matching process too, based on seniority, and whether or not you'd ever had a little before... so I ended up with a big who was graduating that semester, planning a wedding, and whom I had nothing in common with. We hung out a little bit, but she didn't have much time or interest in really being involved anymore, and then she graduated and moved to... Idaho or something? just three weeks after I was initiated. I never heard from her again.

My little and I had a better chance, but we just didn't click. She was assigned to me my junior year, and while I was big into partying right then (I had just turned 21), she was very much the prim and proper girl, didn't like to go out, didn't "approve" of my antics, etc. We didn't have anything else in common, either... so while I made an effort to get to know her, we just never hit it off.

Just reading all these threads makes me wish my Big(s) and I were closer. My first Big from Deltasig was pretty distant. After awhile we became really good friends, until he started seriously dating someone. Kind of bummed me out we couldn't hang out anymore b/c his new girlfriend didn't like that I was a girl calling him to say hi. After I transferred, the new chapter gave me an honorary Big. She's really cool & nice, but since I had already been a member for awhile it wasn't really the same as getting a Big when you're a freshman or sophomore just joining an organization.

I am still really close to my little from my sorority from my other school. We still call each other at least once a week to keep each other updated on how things are going.. she's so sweet and I love visiting the girls because she is so awesome. We're still very much best friends :)

My big is absolutely awesome! (I have to admit I'm secretly hoping that she stumbles across this thread :p ) Some of you may remember me mentioning her in my rush thread. I didn't know her very well at the beginning of this year, but what I knew about her really impressed me - she's a really amazing person, absolutely the definition of a role model. She asked me if I had thought about rushing (much to my surprise - I didn't know she even knew who I was!). During rush we got to know each other better (even went on a roadtrip together for our job), and the more I got to know her, the more I liked her. I sort of had my own personal wishlist for bigs, and while she was at the top of the list, I knew she DEFINITELY wouldn't be taking a little because she has a pretty demanding office (not to mention all of the other things she does). I was SOOO psyched when I found out that she was my big!! :D She is absolutely the greatest - I couldn't have asked for a better one :)

My big from my local sorority was amazing! She spoiled me rotten during my pledge semester :D Sadly, during my sophomore year we kind of drifted apart, but that's ok because I became a lot closer to some of my other sisters.

My little - honestly, I think we were paired up only because I was one of the few sisters who made the effort to get to know her. She's kind of quiet, but she has a temper. She was a good sister, made a lot of contributions, served on Panhel - but she and I were not a good pairing. We don't keep in touch anymore.

The semester after I graduated, my chapter went through a reorganization. About half the sisters were asked to go alum; some chose to deaffiliate entirely instead. My little was among them.

Since I'm a chapter founder, I technically no longer have a big, nor do I have a little. I have no family :(

in our house, bigs and littles were matched up according to preference of both the pledges and the sisters, so everyone got someone they were at least ok with. our house stressed that your big doesn't have to be your best friend; the role of big is more just a functional one to teach you ritual and help learn your way around the sorority. i got lucky with my big, though. she is absolutely super and was one of the first friends i made when i came to college. she has always been encouraging and inspiring and i think our relationship really demonstrates sisterhood. even though she's away at grad school now, we still keep in contact. my littles...well, one of my littles is absolutely super, too. she lives with me this year. we always find lots to talk about and i really enjoy getting her insight on things. she's really special. my other little doesn't even speak to me anymore (and i'm not even sure why, exactly). so i guess that just goes to show that big/little relationships can work out just like any other friendships. but i am very blessed to have the sisters that i do!

My big sis (or diamond sister) and I are really close. We hang out almost every week, and when we can't, we talk on the phone. She wasn't my big when i 1st joined. I got a big sis when I 1st joined, but like 2 weeks later she went alumn, so I never met her, so I don't consider her my big. Then summer came, and I didn't have a big sis, I was adopted by my now "Aunt" in my family until I got a diamond sister. She made me feel welcomed and took the time to get to know me. The time initiation came, my big sister now was picked to be my diamond sister. So in the end, she turned out the be the best big sis.
I have 2 lil sisters. My 1st one, we get along well, I wanted her to my lil and she wanted me to be her big. She is really is a wonderful sister. And i'm so proud of her because now she is the President of the sorority. My 2nd lil, i just got at the end of last semester. She's a great sister. We're not close, but I wanna change that. So I plan to get to know her better next semester. I think I will not be getting anymore lil's because its my last semester, and I won;t really get a chance to know her and it wouldn;t be fair to my potenial lil.
I am glad of who I got :)

My big and I aren't really close -- but I'm hoping it's just because we both had really busy semesters where we both had to concentrate on academics more than on sorority things. She spoiled me rotten for initiation . . . I'm hoping to get to know her a lot better this semester than I did last semester, 'cause she's a really sweet girl.

The World's Best Big
 

My big sister was a complete surprise to me. She was my first choice but I didn't think she wanted me at all. I was shocked and totally excited when I discovered that it was her! Her and I are very close...we have the same major and I have held every major office in the house that she has, only a year later (including President). She is one of the best things about my house and is truly a role model. The heartsell that I'm giving for Recruitment this year is mostly about her since she is graduating in May.

In the area of littles, I haven't had so much luck. My chapter is small, so I picked up a little the semester after I pledged. The matching got all screwed up and it turned out that she didn't want me at all and resented me from then on. She ended up suspending at the end of her first active semester.

My second little was fantastic, her and I had a lot in common and we would have made great friends. She de-pledged two days before initiation. I was crushed. I was convinced that I was cursed and doomed not to have any littles.

However, since I am one of the only members in the house to not have a little currently, I near the top of the list for this Recruitment:) Hopefully, this one will work out!

I have had kinda bad experiences with my big and my lil. My big is extremely flaky and although I think that we would get along really well and have a lot in common, she has hardly made any effort to hang out. As for my lil, we were extremely close until she royaly stabbed me in the back and now I cant stand the sight of her! I have a new lil though and I hope that I will have the oppurtunity to get to know her and become close.

I love my big sister to death! She's amazing and although she's graduated, we still keep in touch. She's going to grad school here at Florida Tech, so I see her occasionally. I just got a little sister this last semester, so our relationship will definitely develop over time, but she's the coolest person ever!

I am so glad that I got the big sister that I did. She is AMAZING. Its really odd because she wasn't my first choice, and I really didn't know her that well when I put her on my list, but when we were getting around to picking bigs, an alumni told us that the people we should put down are people that we respect, and we look up to and so forth. So I put her down. Even though I didn't know her very well at first, I could not have asked for a better big sister. She's supportive, and fun, and just an incredible person. We hang out in Alpha Xi, parties, where ever (we're going to an o-town concert this weekend!) And on top of that, I'm a part of the most incredible family as well! I totally lucked out!

I don't have a little yet, but I will hopefully be getting one this fall! My big sister is really crafty so I have a lot to live up to as far as gifts are concerned. But the big/lil relationship I think is really important...I don't think I would love Alpha Xi as much as I do if she wasn't my big sister. She's really been a lot of fun and so supportive over the last semester!

I too was blessed with a wonderful big sister (sapphire sister). She was actually the same person who convinced me to rush (it was rush back then) Phi Sig, and as far as I'm concerned, she saved my college experience from being dull and boring. Next spring she will be a bridesmaid in my wedding, and if I didn't have a real (blood-related) sister, she would definitely be my maid of honor. Sometimes I wish she could be anyway, that's how much I love her. Maybe I can have two maids of honor?? ;)

This thread couldn't have come along at a better time...

I've been upset lately because my little (4th, actually), has been very difficult to get in contact with and when I finally contacted her (tonight, after over a week of trying), she told me that she's not sure if she's ready to initiate tomorrow night. She's had a busy fall quarter what with her new job, her family, and school, and now she's working more and is afraid she's going to let the chapter down if she initiates tomorrow night and then doesn't show up much. I don't think that will be the case because a) she's a shy person, but she comes around if others show how much they want her involved), b) she had a rough fall quarter because she got a job right after Bid Day that demanded a lot of her time and it became difficult to attend chapter and new member functions, but she still made an honest effort, and c) there's much less to do in the chapter as an active member than as a new member. This girl is awesome although I admit I don't know her too well (she's a sophomore and her shyness showed when she only put two actives on her big sis list and neither of them put her on their little sis list- thus, she became my little because I've had good littles in the past and I've treated them well, they're involved, and successful with the chapter and I really wanted a last little), I want to make the best of my last year as an active with her! She's decided to think it over tonight about wanting to initiate tomorrow (only thing she'd have to do is pay for her badge and show up), and she's calling me in the morning to tell me her decision.

Anyone have any suggestions as to do with the above situation? I would love it if she decides to initiate, and although I will understand why if she doesn't, I want her to at least experience life as an initiated member and decide then if it's for her. Anyone have any words of wisdom that I can tell her when she calls me tomorrow, to convince her that she'd be making a good decision to initiate now rather than de-pledging or waiting until some of the girls in her class initiate in Spring (some of them have issues with grades and can't be initiated tomorrow)? Please email or post here if you have any suggestions!

Other than my issues right now, I have a great family! I love my big, Maria, although she graduated when I was a freshman and we aren't as close as we used to be. I don't know my grandsis or anyone above that because all of them are from Colgate University in NY and I'm at Riverside (my grandsis transferred). I just know names. My first little is the greatest- Vanessa is a dream come true! We weren't that close at first, but we've become progressively closer and I love her enough to say that she'd be a bridesmaid in my wedding (not many people I can say that for), if I ever get married. My second little, Beeta, dropped out of school and is back, but isn't actually involved with the chapter. We were close at first, but she's a wild party girl and I'm not so much anymore, so we don't hang out or talk much. My third little is adopted- Krystle's big sis transferred without ever telling her and she needed a family, so there I was! Krystle and I aren't that close, but I love her dearly and I'm glad to have her in the family line as a very classy, intelligent, and trustworthy sister! Finally... my newest little that may not be in my chapter for long :( ... Marlaina. Like I said before, I haven't been too close to her yet, but I plan to and I know that when I graduate, Vanessa, Krystle, Beeta, and my first grand-little sis, Jasleen, will take care of her! Jasleen is the greatest! She has so much spirit and I love her so much! For those of you who know Shark in Skirt, they're best friends and pledge sisters! Annie and Jasleen are wonderful and they will always be friends that I hold dear!

Ok, enough rambling on... I just got carried away...
:D

my big was a senior when i was s sophomore and she spent a lot of time driving 2 hours away to see her boyfriend. she was really sweet but was never at our meetings, and the only times i got to hang out with her where at formals and other functions. once we were supposed to go to a big party together, but she never called me to pick me up (it was about 20 mins away), and so i assumed she forgot about me. she told me the next day she got so drunk and in a fight with her boyf she had to go to bed at 8 or something. anyway...i think my family has a curse on it or something, b/c my little is cool but we never hang out either. i try to have dinner with her occasionally, and ive tried to get her to go out with me, but she always has people visiting or something, and she hasnt even gone to many of our sorority functions so we never get to see one another. its very frustrating, but i can't force it. we get along fine, we just don't seem to click. at homecoming, i tried to get her to come find me at this party and meet my big (her grandbig), and it took her like 2 hours and 10 phone calls to finally come over, and even then she said the place sucked and left 5 mins. later. she barely spoke to my big, and i was kinda offended...so maybe she is not as cool as i thought, but sometimes she can be really sweet and nice. i dunno...its frustrating, thats all.:(

my big was a senior when i was s sophomore and she spent a lot of time driving 2 hours away to see her boyfriend. she was really sweet but was never at our meetings, and the only times i got to hang out with her where at formals and other functions. once we were supposed to go to a big party together, but she never called me to pick me up (it was about 20 mins away), and so i assumed she forgot about me. she told me the next day she got so drunk and in a fight with her boyf she had to go to bed at 8 or something. anyway...i think my family has a curse on it or something, b/c my little is cool but we never hang out either. i try to have dinner with her occasionally, and ive tried to get her to go out with me, but she always has people visiting or something, and she hasnt even gone to many of our sorority functions so we never get to see one another. its very frustrating, but i can't force it. we get along fine, we just don't seem to click. at homecoming, i tried to get her to come find me at this party and meet my big (her grandbig), and it took her like 2 hours and 10 phone calls to finally come over, and even then she said the place sucked and left 5 mins. later. she barely spoke to my big, and i was kinda offended...so maybe she is not as cool as i thought, but sometimes she can be really sweet and nice. i dunno...its frustrating, thats all.:(

Me and my big, we aren't the closest, like we get along but we don't really hang and she's this really tough girl from brooklyn with this accent and she's always like no one better fuck with my lil...my lil no the othrrhand, i get along with soooooooo well, she's the awesomest, love her to peices...we might get an an apartment together next year.