Black Rites of Passage Ceremonies
 

Lately I have been thinking that we as Black folks need some sort of rites of passage ceremony for our children today. We need to teach them/prepare them for life outside of their parent's home. Having watched Roots and seeing the Manhood Training that his tribal group experienced, I am very much in favor of having a Rites of Passage for Black Americans. I know that some of our orgs and churches have cotillions, men cotillions, etc. but not everyone is able to afford those activities which limits our target audience.

Questions:
Do we need a Rites of Passage for our youth today?
If so, what things should be taught to our children in this ceremony?
What would be the benefits of having a Rites of Passage?

Wow! I was watching a wedding story on thursday. The bride and groom met in Jack and Jill. That made me think of the cotillion at home. I was never a debutant but sometimes wish I would have been. I think a rite of passage would be nice. Here are things that I wish it would teach..
respect(for themselves and others), honesty, and just of thought of saying here now you are considered an adult. There are too many times that i turn on tv and some 7 year old is talking about I AM GROWN.. YOu Don't know me.....
One thing I think that is adorable is in some of the 15th birthday of hispanic girls.. they pass a doll onto a younger girl. This is a symbol of her last doll. :p

Re: Black Rites of Passage Ceremonies
 

I also think there should be a rites of passage for our youth. I think thay many of our youth don't have a good background in sound morals and guidance like some of their white counterparts. Some of the things that I think should be taught are:

1. Proper English!
I am a stickler for this. I always tell my nieces and nephews to enunciate!! and that there is a time and place for slang! When I was in high school, people told me that I talked White because I spoke good English. (that is a form of self hate...but that's another thread!)
2. The importance of trusting/believing in God
3. Respect for each other, especially to our women (from our men)
4. Attire in certain situations/grooming. I think that not only do you get categorized by the way you dress because it portrays a certain image, but attire is important because when you look good (presentable i.e. no bbal cap, no sagging paints, excessively revealing clothes) you feel good and a first impressio is a lasting impression.
5. The true legacy of African and African/ American peoples

OK....ok....I think I'm getting away from the point here. I have just listed things that I feel our youth should change/be taught before they go on to college/the real world etc. It just concerns me when I see some of our youth on the collegiate level that lack the ability to have a coherent/gramatically correct conversations. This affects them when they have interviews etc.

I also know that some of these things should be taught in the home, and may be a little trivial. but many of our kids are missing out because of how they're growing up.

A benefit of a rites of passage ceremony would be a more realistic preparation for competing in the real world for them.

Yep!! And if you want to get really traditional...
the 'quinceanera' enters the ball room wearing flats and her father comes in and changes her into high heels before they dance together!:)
I wish I could have had one:(

--sorry to intrude--
I think this is a really great topic though!

ZTAMiami,

Are quinceanera ceremonies common in other Latino cultures? I'm in Southern California, and I've mainly seen them among young ladies of Mexican-American descent.

Steeltrap:

Yes it is. I know that this was brought into the americas as a Spanish tradition.
I don't know how Mexican Americans do it but while growing up I attended/danced in Quinces for Cuban, Dominican and Puerto Rican girls.
Quinceanera parties are traditionaly preceded by a Catholic Mass (although not many people do this anymore) followed by the party held at a banquet hall. 15 couples dressed in matching gowns/tuxes dance choreographed numbers which include a waltz, salsa or merenque (depending on where your from) a slow spanish ballad etc. The quinceanera will wear white (or any color nowadays) and wears a tiara on her head. There is also an MC providing the important information as to what her favorite color,song,subject,animal,perfume is LOL! These turn out to be extremely elaborate and expensive affairs including limos and professional photographers! Think of it as a pre-wedding. And this is not just for the wealthy let me tell you. The family will scrimp and borrow just to put the party on. Sometimes the quinceanera will be brought in on some sort of prop like a carriage or something. Yes it can be quite tacky at times!
This is most definetely considered a rite of passage in the sense that traditionally this is when a girl begins to be treated as a 'senorita' and is prepared for the ways of womanhood. Although we know in this country most 12 year olds have already seen and heard it all, right?! :rolleyes:
I think that a establishing a rite of pasage for African American girls is an excellent idea. Some of my southern sisters have told me about cotillions but it seems to be a privilege of the white upper class.
Good luck and if you need help with brainstorming let me know, I'd love to help.:)

Thanks ZTAMiami
 

What an interesting post, and thank you for explaining.

Back to the question at hand, I do favor a rite of passage for both sexes. I want to see a lot of things that Love_Spell_6 recommended, as well as some positive cultural attributes.

:) :cool:

Re: Thanks ZTAMiami
 

No problem! Anytime!
How about researching traditional African intitiation rites and see if there is something that can be altered to fit into African American culture.

Good points Love_Spell_6.

Going BACK to the BASICS

Saying AT ALL TIMES:

THANK YOU/ YOU'RE WELCOME

YES/NO MA'AM/SIR

PLEASE

GOOD MORNING/EVENING

I APOLOGIZE

MAY I?

Re: Black Rites of Passage Ceremonies
 

Definitely!!

I did not participate in a formal Rites of Passage program but I was a debutante. We were taught ideas that I view as essential to adulthood. We had workshops on things like etiquette and how to carry ourselves as ladies, but we were also exposed to the arts, the college application process, self-exploration exercises, and leadership and teamwork training. There was no initiation at the end, but I know that I definitely benefitted from this experience.

Youths today definitely need this kind of exposure. They are going to get it from school. I know that a lot of the young ladies who were in that program with me would not be where there are today, working towards their degrees, if it had not of been for this type of inspiration.

Interesting...My ethnicity is Dominican....I've heard of "quinceaneras" and I went to a HUGE one when I was 14, but I never had one. Instead, I went to Europe for 15 days: 5 countries & 10 cities with a French club in high school for my 15th birthday.

Even though it's "tradition" to some Hispanics, there are A LOT of Hispanic girls that do not have these ceremonies. I think it's because the family becomes "Americanized", lol.

Personally, I do not wish I had a "quinceanera" and am glad I went to Europe instead. :D

There is an excellent book on this topic, I believe the title is "Orita" our Delta Academy modeled our rites of passage ceremony for our graduates last year and it was wonderful. There is another one based on a church's mentoring program for girls but I can't recall the title.

Based on what I've observed and learned, it's mainly a Catholic tradition. I've photographed different ones, Mexican and Puerto Rican and I've seen others. The ceremonies were ALWAYS a full Catholic mass and were all very beautiful.

These photographs are from JWThompson Visuals website but they are a wonderful example of the girl and the days events.

An American Quinceanera


http://www.missouri.edu/~jwtth2/quin...erlita%202.gif
http://www.missouri.edu/~jwtth2/quin...erlita%203.gif

Co-sign!

Loving the topic!
 

My grandmother and mother made sure we knew what was what when we were growing up. And having a rite of passage is a wonderful idea but you run up on some things:

1. I went to Quincerna and a Sweet sixteen. The parents spent as much money on those events as if it was a wedding! The idea behind it is wonderful but you will have people who take it to the extreme.

2. I hate the beat the dead horse, but because of how many of us came to be Americans, many don't know know their *exact* origins.

3. Then you will have those who feel this is another commerical thing. Take for instance Kwanzaa, it was a wonderful thing when it first came out. But this last year, commercialism got to it and now many feel that it maybe a joke.

I think the thing we all have to keep in mind that if we do a rite of passage of anything we have to know all the facts of our origins and do it in such a way that it is more personalized than commercialize.

*whew*

After getting the good night sleep, now playing devil's adovcate
 

This came to mind last night, and it might sound like a novice view but nonetheless it came to mind, if we were to instill Rites of Passage what use would it be have greek lettered organizations? Wouldn't the two of them be conflicting each other?

*cowers* Please don't jump down my throat.

Re: After getting the good night sleep, now playing devil's adovcate
 

Please expand on this question. :confused:

What does a Rites of Passage ceremony (i.e. Quinceanera) have to do with greek organizations? :)

I would have loved to have had a ROF when I was becoming an adult. Whenever I have kids I will do that for them. The thought just occured to me that in essence all females have a sort of ROF. :rolleyes:

I think that there are many transitions that we make in life so I don't feel that having a ROF as a teenager and joining a GLO would conflict.

Re: Re: After getting the good night sleep, now playing devil's adovcate
 

I was thinking the same thing. One has nothing to do with the other.

I think that they are needed but need to universal for everyone. Something that has nothing to do with status, ethnicity, a particular religion. It needs to be inclusive so that ALL african-americans can embrace the tradition.

And no there is no conflict between a rites of passage and Greek Letter Organizations. One would be to signify passage in adulthood and the other is membership based on your interest in and meeting the candidancy requirements for consideration in the Greek Letter Organization.

Re: After getting the good night sleep, now playing devil's adovcate
 

:confused:

Not everyone will join a GLO but any church, community group, school, etc. can sponsor a rites of passage program. Even the little knuckleheads on the street need guidance that a rites of passage program can potentially provide.

Why does everything have to be about conflict? I welcome as I am sure most GLO members when others step up to the plate to do service of some kind somewhere for somebody. GLOs are not the only ones capable of serving. Anyone who breathes is CAPABLE to serve in some capacity.

Clarification
 

What I am saying, many people may feel that joinning a GLO is an rite of passage as a form of adulthood that is all.

Personally, I would love to have one. But where would we start? Is it too late to have something like this in our community?

Re: Clarification
 

No joining a GLO is not the only form of rite of passage.
It is never too late to make a change in the community.
Umm start with the man in the mirror. :o :p :D

I am down.
 

How would we get started on something like this?



FYI to the board, I personally don't believe in the statement in devil advocate. It was just a thought.

Re: I am down.
 

I suggest that we start a group on MSN or somewhere to discuss various ideas. That way we can keep our thoughts focused and on track.

Re: Re: I am down.
 

Why not form groups in your own communities first? She is in NY and you are in SC. Before it can be done nationally, I think it would be better to work it at a local level. I am sure the 2 of you can brainstorm together via IM or e-mail and then go from there.

Re: Re: Re: I am down.
 

That could work. sort of like a pilot program. What about you Ms. Tide this was your idea. You should be part of this.

Re: Re: Re: Re: I am down.
 

Sounds like a challenge to me!!!!!!

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: I am down.
 

I don't know why since I never said I wanted to create a Rites of Passage program.

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: I am down.
 

The reason why I said you should be part of it is because I think you would have alot to add.

As for starting something like a rite of passage, from my understanding, it usually take one. So we could start something within our own endeavours in volunteering with children. And have it pass on through word of mouth. That happens alot in these passages.

What do you think?

Well the reason I've suggested starting an MSN group is that we can consolidate all of our efforts in one spot.

No need for everyone to go off and do their own thing and then to come back and say this works for us and that which worked for y'all doesn't fit well here.

If we start off as one voice, one people we would be heard a lot clearer than starting off singing on different levels.

That is an interesting point.

Look here
 

I found this article on Rites of Passage for African American children.

http://www.grrlstories.org/rites/ROPAfrican.htm

I definitely think that a ROP would be beneficial for our youth. My daughter is two and I am already planning her Sweet 16 ceremony. I think that many other things should be involved besides a party- such as ettiquette training, open discussions, training on money management, time management training, etc. Maybe some of the organizations that are already established, like AKA's Precious Pearls Youth Group, Delta's Delteens, Jack & Jill and others can spearhead some type of ROP program. Count me in!

I read that one of the D9 chapters have a ROP. I have to look back but I am sure I can find the information for it.

National Programs
 

There are several in existence. You can go to http://www.ritesofpassage.org for a starting idea. Other Af-Am orgs do ROPs as well.

I was a mentor in my chapter's program this year, and that is some incredibly hard work, which culminates (after 7 months in our case) with a ritual cleansing, scholarships and a celebration. And it ain't cheap! But it was wonderful to experience.

I have no problem going with an existing program offered by any organization.

But if it is a Rite of Passage it should be something universal. For the masses, the rich and the poor. The priveleged and those without. What do these other organizations offer as Rites of Passage?

Since these organizations hold their Rites of Passages for participants. It causes me to wonder if they haven't shared because they never had anyone ask or is it that they haven't offfered.

I wasn't in Jack and Jill or anything like that.

Can someone steer me in the direction where I can find some information on the debutante, botillion, cotillion, presentation ceromonies and programs that some of you have mentioned?

Once again let me clarify for those who were under the impression, a RITES OF PASSAGE program does not have to be national. Also CARLA/CT4/Whatever else you may call me, NEVER EVER EVER stated that she wante to use GC to develop a NATIONAL RITES OF PASSAGE PROGRAM.

There are several churches that offer ROP as well as community centers. Yes D9 orgs also have ROP as well.

Now for the "masses" or the less than privileged to attend the ROP program that you are developing, I believe you need to gear it towards your target audience. A ROP for BLACK MALES will be and should be different than the ROP for BLACK FEMALES. BLACK MALES should be taught primarily be other BLACK MALES but at times BLACK FEMALES should be brought in to talk to the BLACK MALES and vice versa when it comes to the FEMALE ROP program.

For instance, BLACK MALES should be taught how to put on a condom and to wear one at all times. BLACK FEMALES should be taught about BIRTH CONTROL and their cycles and their sexual health. There are folks who think that the only thing we should teach is ABSTINENCE ONLY but to be honest, not all kids are listening to ABSTINENCE ONLY speeches anymore.

ROP should include voting and political responsibility as well as DRIVING WHILE BLACK.

At any rate, I am all for ROP and hope to do something in CHARLOTTE, NC. There are lots and I do mean lots of ROP programs all across the country. You need only look and ask. If you see an area without one, then start one.

Oh and there are ways to get financial assistance from companies and businesses. All I ask is that the ROP program that YOU (whoever you are) do, mean something and benefit the kids. Don't do it for show. Do it out of the genuineness of your heart to better those who come behind you.

When I was in undergrad, we did not have a ROP but we met with 6 Black teen women every other week in our city. I worked with my Upward Bound girls and mentored them. It was not official ROP but I taught them a few things that no one else had.

It only takes one person with one child to make a difference.

I would still like to see some of the information offered on the national level if anyone can find any other information please share it with me.

I've been involved with Boy Scouts, Upward Bound and Mentoring Programs. These programs and many more offer an opportunity for children to learn but I'd love to see something focused on the guidance and preparation of a child for the transition to adulthood.

As a Black Male, I have a personal interest in sharing my experiences with young Black Males. I try to break down the reality of success with them. That it's OK to work a 9 to 5 or better yet own your own business, make ends meet, live a life without Bling Bling. Whatever talents you were given should be used in such a manner that it doesn't harm your fellow man.

Well back on point pm me or e-mail me if you'd like to carry on this discussion.