Wanted: Friends
 

Thats a little how I feel sometimes now that I have moved to big ole Chitown and been here for a month, so I am asking anyone who has moved to a new city how did you develop a core group of friends?

I have three or four acquaintances (sp) here who I have gone out with, but its not the same as my group of best friends in St. Louis, or my sisters back at school and my guy friends there. And I have met several people where I work, and my roommate and I have become good friends but I dont want to be that person who works breathes and goes out with the same people. I want to have a set of friends outside of work. I have joined a gym here that will open this week, and I am looking into the AXO alum group here.

Just wondering how anyone else has adjusted to a move from college grad to the real world?

Oh. I finally found a way back on to greekchat! So, Ill try to log on once a week or so!

to follow up on earlier post
 

I guess I am starting to get a little depressed at times. In that for two nights I have had plans with one friend and both nights she has cancelled. Its just frustrating, because it just makes me miss my friends at home even more. I usually am never really depressesd, or if I am I always seem to break out of a funk. I just want to wear a big sign that says "I am new here, please come talk to me." Is that silly?

I am also finding that I am really shy around new people up here, maybe its because I am out of my comfort zone. I went running today and saw this gorgeous boy walk out of his apartment complex preparing to run himself and I wish I had the guts to go over and say hello. It's frustrating when you know noone in a town of 7 million people.

I know things will get better, but it sucks right now.

When I moved from college, where I had a busy social life, to Seattle, where the only person I knew was my ex ... it seemed like I would never get to know anyone.

I eventually met people, but I still feel the way you're describing sometimes. I joined the alum group, and my college's alum group, and I take ballet and I cave ... but those people are mostly acquaintances. My group of good friends is small, and mostly Midwestern "expatriates" like myself. I've found that a lot of people who have grown up here just aren't looking to expand their social circle.

You're lucky if you know a few people from where you work. I work with almost no young people - if they are my age, they are married. But through them you may be able to meet other people.

you mean i'm not alone??
 

I am so in that position right now! Have been for over a year, and it is driving me crazy! I moved an hour away from where I grew up when I married my husband, and so far I've met...
members of his family (who don't speak to me, btw)
a few people either still in or just out of high school
some cousins I didn't know I had (and now see maybe once a week in passing)
a bunch of people who don't seem to want to give me the time of day because I'm in my 20's and most of them have hit at least 50.

The sad part is I've tried to get in touch alumnae chapters in the area... nothing.
I've volunteered all the time I can, to be told 'we'll call you next week.' ... nothing.

Frustration is mounting and depression has set in...

My situation isn't quite the same but still annoying.

I moved to the part of town that Rob lives in. I became friends with some of his friends but it isn't something that i can call "my friends". Plus they only do things as couples which is kinda difficult especially now. No one from high school or college is around. The youngest person I work with is 32, married, and about to pop out a kid.

So, I'm my-own friendless. All the gyms around here are insanely expensive and not conducive to younger people. Sometimes I think it would be easier if i was in another state.

Alphachi,

I understand exactly how you feel... When I first moved to Atlanta, it was tough meeting people. The first thing I did was contact my local DZ alumnae group. It's great that you're looking into your GLO's alum chapters in the area -- very good move! :) My group meets once a month, so I always had that to look forward to.

Another thing that I did was get involved in a co-ed softball team -- every county around here seems to have an intramurals department where you can go sign up for various sports teams. That worked out great, too. I met my boyfriend from that team, plus I now have 2 really good girl friends who live close by!

As for the gym, I just joined one last month and I really enjoy it. However, I haven't really met anyone that I would care to hang out with outside the gym itself. Mostly just small-talk buddies for the most part. But, at least I can say hello to someone as soon as I walk in instead of feeling like I'm around a bunch of complete strangers every night! :D

Good luck! If I think of any other good "meeting places", I'll let you know!

Also look into alums from your college that have moved there too. Try that classmates.com or call the school to find out who from your h.s. or college has moved to Chicago.

I hope that helps! You've got a great personality so that is 75% the battle right there! :)

Welcome to the club :(
 

In December of 2000 me and my husband both graduated from college. We then moved to his hometown because of his job...which is three hours away from all of my friends, my family, and my whole life. It's been over a year and I'm still having a hard time adjusting. I've tried to do a few things with girls he went to high school with but it just isn't the same as hanging out with my friends. My husband keeps telling me that I need to make NEW friends. That's easy for his to say...we live 5 miles from where he went to high school!! I only work with three other people and they are all at least 15 years older than I am and we do not share any common interests...I can't stand two of them!

There is nothing to do in the town we live in and the closest cities to us are Cleveland and Columbus but they are over an hour away! I would love to move back to Michigan but it looks as though our next move with be to Spring Hill, TN or Shreveport, LA. I think I'm going crazy!!!

Help!

AOX81...

Do you live in amish country? I went to school about mid-way between CLeveland and Columbus, and your story is sounding very familiar!

My hometown is all of 2 miles long, and everyone knows everyone there. I live in a much bigger town in southern Ohio now, and have been here for a year. I don't know anyone except my husband and in-laws... oh, and a cousin or two I found accidentaly that I never even knew existed.

You dont even have to move to a new city to have this problem, you can just go back home after it too :), :( :rolleyes: :p

This is going to have to be short...I may go back and edit later.

I just moved 2000 miles to a place where I know NO ONE and it kinda does suck. I am joining the local alum association (waiting for the prez to call me back) and I also met GreekLawGirl through a SoCal meeting of GC'ers...why not set one up?

Look through your local paper for singles events (doesn't always have to be about dating you know) at museums and such, and for community groups to join. Volunteer. The steps you're taking right now are good!

I'll write more later, I'm being kicked off the puter right now.

Where in Chi-Town are you? I grew up there.

I live in Oak Park, and work in a NW suburb.

KappaStargirl has a great idea -- why don't we set up a Chicago greekchat meeting? :)

oh count me in on that one! i'll come home for it if the day works for me! :D

Well, when I moved home I knew 2 girls from HS.

I helped start a KD alumnae association and have met so many awesome women. Not to mention all the set ups with friends of friends...

Good Luck with the Greek Chat meeting!

deltaphi94:

I damn near live in Amish country! I just about hit a horse and buggy everyday on my way to work. I live in Lexington and work in Mount Vernon. Where did you grow up and where are you now?

I grew up outside of Dayton, went to college in Ashland, and now I live near Miami University.

I had my share of close calls with the horses and buggies, too. I don't think I ever got over seeing buggy parking posts...

I'm visiting Miami U this summer. It's Delta Zeta's centennial year, so we're having a huge celebration. :) I can't wait!!!! :D

I wish I could go to ours... 150th... but it's in Georgia over my son's birthday.
Congrats on 100 years!
:)

Thanks, Deltaphi! Where in Georgia is your celebration being held? I live in Atlanta.

hey
 

So I don't know how much you like chicago, but I'm dying to get out of here as soon as possible. I just can't find anything I want and this is my third year here. Seriously, the clubs are really crappy and the bars are mediocre. The only really cool thing about chicago is the sports but it's not unique to the city. Plus I feel really freaked out because I get hit on by guys every single time I go to the northside and this didn't happen in ny ever...well except one time but we were at a gay bar (unknowingly I promise) and I gave some dude my friend's number telling him to call me as soon as possible...I still think that's funny.

Anyway, here's my advice to you. You've got a problem that we've all dealt with in some form or another. Even when I came here for school I didn't know anybody. And I felt really different from a lot of kids at my school (there are some weird little prozac poppers here). So what did I do? I made a list of all the things I was interested in doing and being involved with, and set out to accomplish them. Maybe you can decide what it is that you would like to do on your free time. And from there you will be in an environment where people share your interests. Say you like animals - well volunteer at a local pet shelter. I actually think you will always meet really great people when you volunteer. Some of them are fun too - I went on a habitat for humanity trip to work on a rundown house and met some really cool guys from another glo. I guarantee that you can make friends that way too since it's only natural that people end up talking to each other when they have common interests. And you're up in a suburb, which isn't the most fun. But don't worry - everything seems to workout even if the beginning is unbearable. Much luck to you, and if you ever want an idea on where any of the better spots are, I'm sure I or anyone else with knowledge on the area will be able to help you out.

-Rudey

Can't empathize with you what-so-ever.

now that I've made you feel better, call me sometime and we'll catch up. I was so surprised to hear from you last time, but loved it.

Cory

Re: Welcome to the club :(
 

God help you if you move to Shreveport!!! There's not much there. LOL.

Allison

Okay, I so know where you are coming from and this is my advice. ANYTIME you meet someone that you can possibly get their e-mail addres, GET IT!! I met some of my closest friends in ATL because they were friends of friends and I made a point of getting their e-mail addresses after we had hung out and e-mailing and saying how much fun I had. I figure, I put myself out there with guys at times, why not do it with girls I want as friends.
And I am all in favor of getting involved with your alumni group. I LOVE mine!!!
But PM me if you ever need to bitch-I have been there!

Making new friends of your peers can be so hard. I know this guy who moved here to New York and didn't know anyone so he decided to get involved with this Alumni Association. When they had their first meeting, five people showed up. He went to a Southern school so he got involved with other SEC. Now once a month he hosts Happy Hours. He told me at first very few people showed, but in the past few years since the popularity of e-mail, hundreds of people show. He sent me an e-mail invitation with over one hundred addresses. Maybe you can do something like that. Get involved with your Alma Mater, your sorority Alumnae Association, and maybe an NPC AA. Good Luck!

Rhonda,

I can soooo sympathize with you. When I moved to Austin 5 years ago I knew 1 person-Joe. We hung out a great deal but he was very busy with his work. I went to parties with him but the people there were all computer people and for some reason veterinarians and computer people just don't click (no one at those parties had pets-I could not relate). Anyways, I was feeling very lonely, plus I had a sucky schedule-I worked Fri/sat/sun-ie I had no weekends at all. For a year and a half I was so depressed. Then came Kirsten-she is a vet. I work with and we are almost the same age and we are best buds now-we do everything together-we are going to europe in May (I am so excited!!!) Anyways, hanging out with people from work is not necessaarily a bad thing-almost all of my friends are vets and half of them are from work. We all go to the aggie happy hours every month (there is a big ATM club here). Within the last 2 years my social circle has really expanded-it just took some time. I also reconnected with Christy-she was in my chapter, though I did not know her well (which I could kick myself for)-she moved in August and Kirsten is moving in may-I am depressed about that but I will visit her in Houston often.

Just give it time, join the alum group and if your college has happy hours-go to those.

Karen