Rolling solo without being "alone" and "lonely"
 

I am a very social person, I like hanging out, but I have some introversion. I enjoy watching movies solo, going to the downtown district solo, and having dinner and drinks solo. I don't always wish to do these solo but on a long warm day like today, I took myself to the local hot spot and am treating myself to a seafood risotto and sangria. Heaven on Earth.

There is more research on people rolling solo by choice. Rolling solo doesn't mean you're alone and lonely. It doesn't mean you're not in a romantic relationship(s). It doesn't mean you don't have friends and people you could be hanging with.

GCers, do you ever roll solo? :D

I love to do things by myself at times. When you are with others, you often have to compromise what you want to do. When you are solo, you can do exactly what YOU want to do. It's a refreshing change. I don't like being completely alone for long periods of time like I have been lately since my injury. Cooped up in a house with no human contact can get boring.

I LOVE doing things by myself, and I have been that way my whole life. The most fun thing I ever did was to take a trip to NYC and explore the city all by myself. It takes a long time for loneliness to set in for me.

Unless I have work to do I don't like being at home solo for more than one day.

During the recent snow-in I was bored for almost 3 days. My significant other was snowed in a few miles away. We talked on the phone all night which was torture. He kept saying silly things like "my fireplace is lit and so am I (libations), wish you were here." About 2 days later he braved the ice and escaped his crib. Better him than me. I refused to drive until the local news stopped discussing ice accidents.

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Another thing about rolling solo is I sometimes am a silent observer. Sometimes I feel like talking to the people sitting at the bar with me but sometimes I don't. I don't feel like talking tonight. I just listen and chuckle. Today was a long and talkative day. Now I want to chill, eat, drink, and post on GC. :)

I have a friend who spends most of her time traveling the world and backpacking across Europe solo. She will meet people there but travels solo. That terrifies us because we are concerned for her safety. We make sure she calls someone once a week.

I LOVE being by myself. I have a wonderful boyfriend and amazing friends, but I love to do things on my own. Especially when I have certain things I want to do, like if I'm going to the mall to buy one thing. I don't wanna explore with others - I wanna get in, get out, on my own time. I'm counting down the days until I don't have to share a room anymore and get my own. I'm going to just lay down in bed and bask in being by myself.

I find it very difficult to eat alone in a restaurant...I only do this when I absolutely have to. It just feels awkward to me, although I think it would be better if I had a laptop/tablet/book. But not much.

All the time! I am told I am "pathologically private"; my mother told me when I was just a wee thing "you don't need anybody, do you?" Truly don't get lonely. I understand it, friends have talked about it; I just don't feel that feeling. Never bored, never short of things to do. People tire me out. I get energy from being alone.

Shrug. I have always been comfortable in my own skin. My friends are terrific, and I have a lot of social outlets. Sometimes I think I have too many social things on my plate. If I want to see a movie, or go to a ball game, or eat a particular food, or hear a particular singer in concert, I'm gonna do it.

Sometimes you can get an awesome seat when you roll solo.

I love being alone as well. Sure, I'm a well-adjusted person with friends and hobbies; but, I tend to be more on the independent side. With my new job, I am finally able to afford a 1-bedroom apartment and I love having my own space. I also have no problem going to a museum or dinner alone. I could be alone for days and not bat an eye.

That said, I feel that there is a difference between being alone and being lonely. I don't have a serious romantic relationship and I sometimes wonder if having a man in my life would be a wonderful addition or a burden. Though, since I am content with how things are and I have friends, I don't tend to feel "lonely" too often.

I don't usually like eating by myself, but having a drink at the bar isn't an issue.

I also enjoy watching movies by myself, both at home and at the theater. No discussing and compromising on what to watch!

A few years ago, I was working outside of Orlando, and I have a friend who lives in the area and actually works at Disney. My boss didn't want to stick around for the weekend, so she flew back home to return on Monday. I told my friend that I could meet up with her on Sunday, but I took Saturday for myself.

Best. idea. ever.

I went to MGM Studios all on my own. I went on the rides that I wanted to go on - including the Tower of Terror 5+ times - and I went on three times as many rides as I would have if I was with another person. When you're all by yourself, you're the seat filler! I was asked to skip to the front of the line so many times. And it was kind of entertaining for me to know that I was the one random stranger in some of those families' pictures :p

Anyone care to share why eating solo bothers you? Is it the need to be doing something like talking to someone, watching the restaurant TV, or on your phone or laptop?

I noticed that when I don't bring my phone with me or there is no restaurant TV in my vicinity, the bartender or server (if I don't sit at the bar) wants to talk more. LOL. I know I'm solo. It is intentional.

I get lonely on occasion. My husband is gone far too much for work, and too much time around my offspring with no other adult interaction makes for a crazy Irish lady. Sometimes it's just me and the kids from a Friday morning until a Monday evening. With that said, I LOVE going out by myself. I love eating alone. No one mooching food off my plate. No one demanding my attention. I can eat my food while it's hot and without having to cut up a plate of someone elses food first. I also enjoy solo movies.

For the first 5 years of my career, I traveled a lot. I once spent 8 weeks living in a hotel in Philly. I explored the city alone and learned to love eating alone. Just me and a book, or the bartender and a TV. It was weird at first. Now I miss it. I maybe get to go out an enjoy a nice meal alone once every few months or so.

Dining solo. I enjoy dining solo at restaurants with good food and atmosphere --- that seafood risotto and wine sounds like a winner. I love going out to eat with friends too and having great conversations. I also really like the European convention of dining with strangers -- it is clearly just a nice dinner conversation, nothing more. Sometimes I just want to people watch or converse with the waitstaff or simply collect my own thoughts or read or look at the ocean/landscape.
Dining alone can be restful or an adventure.

I only dislike eating bad food or being in a bad establishment. I feel awkward only if I am in a very parochial place or a bar. For example, you won't find me dining alone at a roadhouse.

I enjoy exploring alone, though I do like the sense of securityy of someone knowing my general whereabouts. I often wish to travel differently from my friends and family. For example, a good friend loves cruises. I. Do. Not. I love riding the train. Some of my family does not. I love walking; my cruise friend does not. In sum, if I wait until all of the stars are aligned, I won't be doing much more than the big sit.

The one thing I won't do solo is go to a bar, married or not. I'm quite satisfied with my own company, plus I always have a book with me. My DH doesn't get home until VERY late at times, so I can either sulk at home, go out with friends, or go out by myself.

Being alone as opposed to being lonely is a choice. I choose to be happy.

Alone and lonely are not the same thing.

I spend a lot of time alone - I live alone and I travel 200+ days a year, often by myself. I enjoy going to eat by myself sometimes (where I can eat at my own pace - lingering over my drink or wrapping up quickly to get to my next spot). But I wouldn't call myself lonely - I have a great social, volunteer, and professional life full of interesting people who I make conscious decisions to spend time with.

I think solo time makes me a more complete and fulfilled person.

I don't mind eating alone if I'm sitting at a bar, but eating alone at a table is weird to me (if I don't have a laptop or a book or something) because I don't know where to look. LOL. Take a bite, look up, stare at the couple at the table in front of me. I guess part of it is not wanting to freak other people out. Haha.

LOL, ASTalumna06, that makes sense. You don't want to be the creepy solo person staring at other tables. I like certain restaurants because they have something to keep me occupied. If I go to a restaurant that has nothing to keep me occupied I will bring my phone.

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Yes, being alone and lonely aren't the same. But, being solo is different than both being alone and being lonely. When I enjoyed my seafood risotto this evening, I was eating solo but I wasn't alone. :) And I definitely wasn't lonely. There are times when I go out solo such as to a walking park. That is more alone but I damn sure make sure there are people somewhere in the vicinity so I don't end up with a bear attack.

I wasn't thinking of alone time in the bathroom or at home when I created this thread. LOL. I was more thinking about whether GCers go out solo.

I've really tried to disconnect in public when solo. It is HARD. If I'm reading a book or magazine, easy. Incessantly checking my phone is harder. This was a few years ago, but I didn't enjoy my own company then. Now, I can go to a restaurant, order, drink and just savor the moment. I do get a bit sad if I realize I'm the only one dining alone, but then I remind myself it was intential.

A lot of times, rolling solo is a matter of distance - if I dont feel like travelling to meet up with folks, I go alone. I really enjoy pedicures alone. Museums I almost prefer to go alone. I've yet to muster up going to a movie alone (I always say I will, then I don't).

As far as being at a bar... I definitely need something (TV, conversation, a game). If I sit there in my thoughts, (positive) solo time turns into (negative) lonely time.

OTOH, I do enjoy borderline creepy people watching, but I think that's the inquisitive writer in me.

I have a wonderful husband, but I really do like my alone time, I'll shop, visit the cinema, take myself into London for the day, drive a couple of hours to the coast. I also have a great social & professional life.

Before I was married, I travelled on vacations alone (Mexico, Spain, Germany) and I love the freedom it brings me, being able to take a day trip here, or go visit that museum, without having to worry that my travel companions want to hit the beach and lay out.

I have no issues with eating out alone, I always carry my kindle/book and have my phone to keep me entertained.

The solo/non-solo thing has never been a big deal for me so maybe I'm missing the import of the question. I was divorced 9 years before remarrying, so I just did what I felt. Was cool doing things solo, and had dates/company whenever I wanted them.

I highlighted the above quote/question because for some reason, seeing people eating alone does bother me. Always has. I always feel like they're alone, and have no one--knowing it's very possible that there are 18 folk back at the house aggravating the fire out of them and they just want to get away.

But still, seeing single diners in restaurants, particulary elderly people, gives me an unexplainable twinge of sadness.

Tony, may I use your phrase "18 folk back home aggravating the fire out of them?". : )

I can see it being handy today.

feel free. :)

Then the solo/non-solo thing is kind of a big deal to you. ;)

I don't understand some people's need to find a "plus one" for everything. There are people who won't do anything (non-work related) if they don't have someone to accompany them. Going out "on the town", attending religious services, etc. It is one thing to want someone to accompany you but to absolutely need someone to accompany you is different.

It's fine if some people cringe when seeing someone dining solo but I think those people need to spend time paying attention to their "plus one." :) What's the point of a "plus one" if you're staring at the next table (or checking your IPhone----cringe).

No, really, it's not. Beyond the fleeting, if consistent, momentary thought in the restautant, it has no bearing on the rest of my day. ;)

Good. :)

Maybe I'm not getting it. Then I thought, oh! I know - it's because I meditate. I have, for decades. I can go to a happy place or space, with a quiet mind, very easily and quickly. It results in a peaceful expression, a calm serenity; and then people want to talk to me because I look so happy or whatever. So, damn it, I'm not solo and I have to interact with others. Gah!

My friends tell me how they envy me. It's there, for the taking. A quiet mind is a gift.

One of the good things about being an only child is you get used to doing things alone and even more, give off an air of being comfortable doing so. I have no problem eating alone, anywhere from McDonald's to the fanciest place in town. There used to be a time when a single diner would be asked if they minded having another single diner join them, or always forced to the bar, but those days are pretty much gone, thank God.

The other activity I love doing alone is shopping. I've never understood why some people feel this always has to be done in a team/group and I actually usually drive people crazy when I do shop with them because I dart from place to place.

Eating solo bothered me a lot during college. I felt very lonely when I had to eat alone because everyone else was in class or where ever. I slowly got used to it and now enjoy it when I chose to eat solo. The choice meant a lot to me. When I choose to go out alone, it is more enjoyable for me.

my preference is actually to roll solo. i'm an only child, and there is no one's company i enjoy more than myself. LOL. this can be aggravating to my partner but oh well, he will deal. or i'll date until i find someone who does.

oddly enough, i am the planner / program manager in my group of friends. although i create opportunities to socialize, my plan is ALWAYS to pick something that i'll enjoy in a group or solo.

I agree. ^^

I'm a solo also. I enjoy the company of others but really prefer being by myself. I've always been like that. Mr. Ninjapoodle is like that also. :)

This.

I feel this way about the movies, the beach and vacationing. I feel like those things are specifically supposed to be shared experiences. IMO though.

Seriously. Unless I need a specific opinion, nope. I take FOREVER to shop, and often leave empty handed.

I am usually doing at least 2 things at a time all the time. I guess if I took my iPad out to eat with me, I would be fine going alone but I cannot just sit there waiting for them to take my order, waiting for them to bring my food, waiting for my check, etc. with nothing to do. Another person provides that "something to do" in talking with them. Even then, I'm usually making origami out of the straw papers and stuff. I cannot just sit there and wait with nothing to do. I'm not sure I know how to relax anymore. I blame grad school.

I'm with you, Dee. I don't mind stopping in a counter service place and eating alone, but not a sit down restaurant where there's waiting involved...alone, without social conversation. I like shopping alone because I know what I need and I just want to get it.

I notice in some places (usually when I travel), I get met with a minor attitude when I am seated solo at a table. Usually it's from a server who is annoyed thinking they just got shortchanged a second person at a 2-top and thus extra tip money.

I do try to circumvent this in unfamiliar places by either a) using OpenTable to search for restaurants accepting reservations for 1 vs 2 or b) Letting the hostess know I am willing to sit in the bar area provided it's nonsmoking and offers full menu service. I usually have my Kindle or iPad with me and often use that time to catch up on social media, magazine reading, or light emails.

My cousin and I bought the subscription series for Broadway in Detroit this year. We were going to renew and her situation has changed so she can't do it next year. I'm on the fence about what to do. Should I renew for just myself and go solo or get a subscription for two and invite others to join me for different shows? What to do, what to do?

Oh boo hoo. That's the whole point of this thread!! Don't let them shunt you to the bar...the waiter's paycheck is not your problem. If you want a booth, you should get one. If you really feel bad, then go at an odd time of the day.
Go solo!!! Great way to meet people who like the same thing you do.

Eating alone at nice restaurants can be really a special experience. I went to RSNA in Chicago in December for a week and ate at a fine dining restaurant every night. Those restaurants take extra special care of single diners. Moto, in particular, brought me extra glasses of wine for my tasting menu and took me on a tour of the kitchen at the end of my meal. The waiters were extra attentive, chatting with me and discussing each dish more than they usually would. I had a wonderful experience and know that it would not have been the same if my husband had been there. That being said, I want to go back with my husband so he can experience Moto because of the playful avant garde cuisine.

I had a wonderful experience in the UK. I have wanted to see the RSC in Stratford for years and had the opportunity to take a couple of days to do so. No one else was interested. (Their loss IMO). I bought as good a ticket as was available and took advantage of the pre-theater dinners at an exquisite restaurant. I dressed up, had a fabulous time dining as I asked the waiter about his favorite actors and then went to the theatre. The performance was magical, and I had some wonderful conversation with my seat "neighbours". It would have been fun with a companion, but I made up my mind it would be fun by myself.

I will be having my first big test on this subject. I will be going on vacation to Europe by myself next week. I am an EXTROVERT, and I'm a little worried about missing out on some things because I won't want to do them alone. But on the other hand, I'm looking forward to doing exactly what I want to do for the amount of time I want to do it.

So my plan is to make friends on the boat (river cruise on the Danube) quickly and have a nice mix of community and screw them I'm going over there for awhile moments. Fingers crossed. Wish me luck!