Rec girl going through at Wake Forest this week!
 

I have a rec girl going through recruitment at Wake this week. This has been my first experience with Wake recruitment, so am following her progress closely.

Early in the year, she seemed to think recruitment was a laid back process. Everyone (many) of the pnms are from out of state so it was easy to assume all of the criteria and tidbits associated with southern schools (her mom was an Arkansas Greek) would not apply. But, I wasn't so sure.

I headed to GC for some help on the matter and felt that we needed to be a little more alert during the fall (Wake has Jan recruitment). Talked with the PNM about being AWARE during fall of Greek women in her classes, behavior outside of class, etc.

I never could get anyone to tell me that recs were important (and coming from SEC background, you know what my mindset on that was) but at my insistence, she worked to get one from each house anyway. She lives in the Northeast in an area where Greeks are not on every corner, so this was harder than it sounded.

Then, surprise, the Greek Life office sent out a letter to parents in early December that, among other things, stressed how competitive the process was and that they would have counselors available after recruitment for the girls who end up disappointed. There was quite a bit mentioned about girls getting their hearts set on 'perceived top chapters,' etc. The letter was so candid about this problem that I panicked. No SEC school openly admits (in written correspondence to parents!) that girls are heartsick and need counseling after recruitment! It sounds like the old days at Arkansas and makes me think they must not have RFM?

So, now I am really confused. I cannot wait until my rec girl pledges and can shed some light on their process.

I feel like my rec girl is ready. She has been schooled in all of the finer points of recruitment behavior and (most importantly) recruitment mindset. We have talked about the ultimate goal: finding a home.

Round one is today!

Not from Wake, but may be able to shed some light anyway?

It may be because of the deferred recruitment--when PNMs have ALL SEMESTER to listen to tent talk / get to know girls / idolize the "top tier" groups, getting cut hurts a lot more, because you can't chalk it up to only having a 10-minute conversation.

It does surprise me that they're so open about it, but good for them I guess. My (admittedly limited) experience with deferred recruitment is that rec letters matter less because fall term acts as a rec.

With RFM, the girl's chance of getting A sorority increases, but it doesn't help getting into a particular chapter. And I think this is an increased problem with deferred recruitment, that the rushees know sorority women and assume that because they're friends, they're in. The sorority women are enthusiastic and encouraging, which is misinterpreted, and I think this may be even greater reason for counseling after the fact. You not only feel rejected, but you've been rejected by your FRIENDS. That's got to be an even harder pill to swallow.

I don't think competitive and recs necessarily go hand in hand (and man oh man I wish we could get rid of them and/or their importance in the process) but I still contend that having them is better than not having them, even if they don't affect the outcome. I'd say you did well to encourage her to get them no matter what.

Good luck to your rec. girl, gee_ess.

I had a good friend from my hometown go through recruitment at Wake several years ago, and she kept in touch with me throughout the whole process, since I was already a member (at another school) she hoped I might be able to give her a few pointers. I may be slightly biased in this description, but she is very attractive, and incredibly smart. She had a lot of high school ec's, and a few ec's at Wake. However, she did not have any recommendations, as she had been told they were not necessary.

I won't go into great detail, but after the first round she was cut heavily and decided that greek life wasn't for her. I've heard that one or two chapters struggle to make quota because the PNM's do judge heavily based on "tiers" and perceived reputations. When PNM's only receive invites from the "less desirable" chapters they would rather just drop out than see them for the wonderful organizations that they are!

All in all, I don't think recs are absolutely necessary to recieve A bid, but it may not be THE bid your rec girl is hoping for. If she is willing to keep an open mind, she will more than likely find a home. I would say that recs certainly can't hurt.

Well, I have a long-time friend whose daughter attended Wake. I believe she was there from 2005-2009. My friend is a Kappa Delta, but her lovely daughter never had an interest in Greek Life. However, my friend was visiting her daughter in her dorm one day -- and it just happened to be right before pref.

I remember her telling me that she had never seen anything like it. A large number of girls on her daughter's hall were sobbing due to disappointing results in their recruitment. She said everywhere you looked, it was heartbreak and that she and her daughter were going room-to-room consoling some of the PNMs. SO -- I do have it from an eyewitness that recruitment was quite rough, at least a few years ago. Judging from the recent letter sent to parents, it sounds like it still can be.

It sounds like your PNM was well prepared, though. I think that insisting she get recs was a wise move on your part and I'm glad she heeded it. Hopefully, she is also heeding your advice to keep an open mind. Wishing her all the best!

Good luck to her!

I graduated from Wake in 2008. Things have changed some from then but if anyone has any questions feel free to PM me.

Please keep us posted - I'm terribly interested in a Wake Forest recruitment!

My cousin graduated from Wake a year or two ago and she was heavily involved in Panehllenic. She had told me in the past that recs are needed for the more selective chapters, but many girls can obtain a bid without a rec. However, she would always recommend getting recs. Due to the geographic make up of the student body, there are some PNMs who have been groomed to be in a sorority their entire life that attend Wake and then PNMs who never paid much attention or didn't really know what a sorority was who decide to rush, and then there is everything in between. Wake is competitve in its own right, especially the more selective chapters. Not an all around competitiveness like SEC recruitment.

I don't think the letter that Greek Life sent out is necessarily a bad thing. I believe it is intended more for the parents of PNMs who have little to no knowledge of recruitment. Letting them know that this is an emotional experience and that the school acknowledges it and wants to support the PNM. Elon, which is not far from Wake and has certain Panhellenic similarities, has always had counselors on hand during the recruitment process - at bid signing and bid day, back to when I went through recruitment in 1997.

Here's the letter to parents and pnms on Wake Forest's website:

http://parents.wfu.edu/category/greek-life/

I think the letter was well written, and a great idea. Sometimes, parent's don't know how to comfort their children. They don't know what to say or do to help the situation. I liked it.

Just heard from my rec girl (via mom) and she was cut from two of her favorites. She was surprised but has rallied. I talked to her mom and gave advice for their phone conversation that will take place tonight after her parties end. (wonderful tips that have been espoused on this site for years!).

Thanks for the wonderful comments above. Can't wait to see how tomorrow goes!

Also, just clicked on LaneSig's link and it is a recap of Day 2. I think this is a GREAT way to communicate the process with parents and friends! Love this!

Fingers crossed for your rec. girl!

I went to the link as well and it's really great. There is also some very good advice that could be applied to any recruitment. I especially like the part about "manage your expectations."

That is a really good article! Thanks Lane, Sig. I didn't realize that Theta is coming back to Wake Forest this year! Yeah!

Update:

Round two went well. After being cut by two faves after round one, she was invited back to all four of top choices for round three. She felt good about all four and had a definite favorite but was happy with all of them.

Tonight was pref and my sweet rec girl was cut by the three she had preffed! She was invited back to a house but it was one she had not visited since round 2 so felt little connection to them. She has withdrawn and is heartsick..

I always hate this type of ending! Hopefully, after a little time has passed she will give some consideration to the new theta chapter colonizing this fall.

:(

Update:

Round two went well. After being cut by two faves after round one, she was invited back to all four of top choices for round three. She felt good about all four and had a definite favorite but was happy with all of them.

Tonight was pref and my sweet rec girl was cut by the three she had preffed! She was invited back to a house but it was one she had not visited since round 2 so felt little connection to them. She has withdrawn and is heartsick..

I always hate this type of ending! Hopefully, after a little time has passed she will give some consideration to the new theta chapter colonizing this fall.

:(

Ohhhhhhh... :(

So sorry for her & for you gee ess... I know you were really pulling for her.

So sorry. :(

Just to satisfy my own rush advisor curiosity, does Wake use RFM? It seems, based on my info from the mom, (and the earlier post from greekdee) that there is an unusually large amount of pref night devastation (as opposed to RFM where the devastation occurs earlier thus allowing girls to move on to other groups more quickly.

According to the pnm, the scene on her hall is pretty much as greekdee described. Of course, I know this type of disappointment happens, but am just wondering about the numbers side of Wake recruitment.

Sigh...

I'm very sorry for your PNM, and I sincerely hope that she'll give Kappa Alpha Theta a look. We never know why things happen the way they do; however, that's little consolation when you're 18 and the floor drops out from under you, possibly for the first time.

The Greek Life letter was, to me, a clear signal that Recruitment at Wake Forest is a very rocky road.

What a shame. I agree that it sounds like RFM is not being used-at least the way we know it.

While I do not have first-hand experience at Wake - my understanding is that under their particular brand of deferred recruitment - there is lots of opportunity to meet sorority women ahead of time. Girls are very hurt because they feel like they already have friends in their favorite chapter and might even pref there only to not receive a bid to their fave. This and the perceived tiers make it rough January.
Vandy is similar but not as bad

I just hate reading stories like this. Please encourage Rec Girl to give Theta a shot. I know how it feels like to go through deferred recruitment thinking you had made a friend in a particular chapter and then be cut by them. It just hurt like hell.

Poor thing! Getting cut at pref is just too harsh!

Let's be clear: she did not get cut. She chose to decline the pref invitation she was offered.

From the stories about the societies-to-sororities transaction not being that smooth (still) it seems like they are kinda rogue in some ways....I wouldn't be surprised if that applies to RFM too.

Part of me wishes she had gone to pref just to try it out, but part of me is glad she didn't because if she had hated it, the vibes would have affected the girls who really did want to be there. It's really hard to know what is the right choice in that scenario.

She couldn't have preffed 3 groups and then been dropped at pref. Do you mean she was dropped by the groups she prefered????

This...I'm not understanding the description either. Did you mean she went to 3 groups for pref, matched with none of those, and was instead offered a bid from a group she hadn't visited since Round 2, which she then declined? So, she didn't visit them for Round 3, either? Please clarify! :)

If that's that's the case, I think I'd probably wait for the Theta colonization, too. It does seem strange that they couldn't use quota additions to add her to one of the 3 pref. groups. I'm assuming she didn't suicide, to be offered a 4th option, but wow...3 prefs and she couldn't be placed in any of them??? That would be very upsetting.

Sad to hear she did not get one of her 3 pref houses. Encourage her to try for Theta.
Sounds like Wake Forrest is a rocky road for sure.. I did like the letter to the parents though, very useful information.

That was how I read it. I hope she considers Theta!

My reading of it is, after round three, she wrote down the three groups whose pref she would want to attend. They all dropped her. She got a pref invite from a sorority she had previously dropped, but didn't go. So in other words she didn't go to any prefs.

They have 4 rounds total, pref is the 4th. :)

That was my original interpretation, too, and that the word pref was accidentally used, instead of Round 3, in the description. This seems more likely, but I need a clarification.

I read it that she preffed the three groups, and then she got dropped from all three. However, if she got dropped by her top three before pref, then that happens.

Yes. This is the scenario.. I may not have been clear in my explanation. I am on my iPad and not at a regular computer this week so my hunting and pecking has stymied my communication.

She selected the three she would like to return to on pref and all three released her. Yes, a house DID extend a pref invite and she chose to drop.

True, my pnm is not experiencing anything out of the ordinary...I am just very interested to get a better "feel" for what seems to be a somewhat unique recruitment atmosphere based on what others are saying. I think my girl will be fine, truthfully.

I am not familiar with the Greek history of Wake, but based on a previous post, I am guessing the Panhellenic affiliation is relatively new?

So sorry to hear that this happened.

I'm not that familiar with Wake but based on what I know about recruitment in general and RFM in particular, she evidently had enough "whatever" (grades, rep, etc) to get her thru the the first part of recruitment. However, "whatever" kept her from making the final cut was something all 3 groups wanted to opt out of. It's normal to not get some invited to pref but it is rather odd that all 3 released her at that point. However, obviously the other group had been inviting her all along but they didn't "make the cut" with her so she never saw their invites. That's how RFM works. If you have more invites than party slots, you will never know that. You only learn the ones that match with your ranking and for which you have open. So, they didn't go back and invite her. They were inviting her all along but she wasn't ranking them high enough to match for a slot.

Hope that makes sense. I know what I am trying to say but not sure if it's coming out that way!

They had long-established locals and the university told them they would have to go national. However, some of the new nationals have tried really hard to keep the local traditions and in some cases, that involved hazing. First Chi O almost deactivated their chapter but kept it at the last minute--there's a thread about it on GC. It happened in the last few years. Then we closed our chapter, which came from the oldest of the nationals, because of the "old traditions" thing. I believe that some of the girls then formed a chapter of a non-NPC group, Kappa Beta Gamma, and I don't know what occurred after that.