Are some people just not meant to be in sororities?
 

I am currently going through recruitment now. The second day has already passed (I have 2 more days to survive) and I only have 3 houses left. I'm deathly afraid that I'm going to get released. I want to post my whole story, but I'll wait until next week when recruitment is officially over.

Basically I went through recruitment last year. Got released, so I decided to do it again this year. But knowing that I can he released again just makes me think...maybe I'm not supposed to be in a sorority.

Does anyone have any advice or input?

The answer to your question is...yes.

Some people have a great time at sororities at a big school with a big Greek system, but would have been MISERABLE at a smaller school with a smaller Greek system. Or vice versa. (And no, the solution is not to transfer...the solution is just to realize that your school isn't 100% perfect because the Greek life there isn't for you, and get involved in other activities.)

Some people can't deal with the rules and expectations that are there in even the most laid back of chapters.

Some people have difficulty with time management, to the point that their sorority membership is a drain on their college career.

Some people just don't want to be around that many girls, that much of the time.

I don't know if any of these apply to you, but if venting out fear here helps you get through rush, go ahead and continue to do so. :)

I'm sorry rush isn't going well for you. Yes, some people aren't meant to be in sororities. If it doesn't work out for you, it's time to start finding where you DO fit. Sorority life was fantastic for me in college, but it is not the only way to have fun, learn leadership skills, do philanthropic works, make lifelong connections, or drink beer.

Try not to worry about it so much. Your panicked state is probably not helping your composure.

Do the best you can. That's my only advice. It will either work out or it won't. But you should have a contingency plan in place for ways to get involved on campus and make friends should recruitment not go as you have planned. I'm sorry this has been so stressful! You might also consider informal recruitment-- it may be less intense that formal if this formal recruitment doesn't work out.

Greek life isn't huge at my school. I go go mostly a commuter school. I don't have the luxury of just going home so I wanted to find my home away from home. I don't think I can handle being released from recruitment AGAIN. Ever since I was little, I've wanted sisters, but it's looking like my wish will never come true

I did informal recruitment last year too. Only a handful of sororities were doing it and they had like only 7ish spots open. I didn't take it personally that I didn't get in then

None of those really apply to me... At least most of those girls can get into a sorority. I can't...but yes I just need to vent. I wish I could share my whole story with everyone (recruitment this year and last)! Maybe after when recruitment is over?

I hope you do share your recruitment story -- while wishing you success in this one. You still have parties to attend -- hoping for a happy ending!

Good luck! :)

1) We would love to hear your story once recruitment is over, provided you can tell it in a manner that will not lead to hurt feelings.

2) Some women are not successful in recruitment. We've talked about tons of reasons why around here. However, none of us know YOU. If you are unsuccessful this time around, you would be wise to ask a trusted friend if there is some real reason you are having this much trouble. There could be something about how you are presenting yourself that is causing problems for you, and if this is the case, you should find out now, because it will continue to affect you in job hunts and stuff like that.

Thanks you! Even if I don't have a happy ending, I would love to share BOTH stories so maybe I could get some insight.

Thank you! Yeah I realize you guys can't really tell me what I'm doing wrong. Maybe if you read my story next week, you'll have some insight. I honestly don't know how I'm presenting myself "wrongly" to others. Personally, I just think that there are other girls better or more suited for the chapter than me. I know that they can't take everyone. I just happen to be last on everyone's list I guess. And unless I'm on the other side of the process, I won't know exactly how it works out. It is tough to make it to that side lol.

Even if you just have a few houses left...remember, it just takes one! Good luck! :)

Thanks for your kind words! Fingers crossed that I can make it through the last few days of recruitment.

THIS!!!^^^^^^

I wish you the best of luck. Don't give up on the process. Maybe you aren't meant to be in a sorority, but at least you are TRYING. Unfortunately great girls fall through the cracks. It's NOT a perfect system... but we wish you the best, and truly hope you find a home! If not, try other clubs and organizations!

First, we're not the best choice for helping you get clarity. Ask your rho chi or a good and painfully honest friend. How are you at gauging social cues? Do you make people uncomfortable when you're trying to be funny? Do you dress obnoxiously when you think you're being different? Do you have bad breath? These are the kinds of things that can REALLY affect your rush and you might just not be seeing it. None of these may be true, but probably there's something about yourself that you're just not willing to face just yet.

Secondly, nobody said you were last on anyone's list. Who knows? A chapter may have been able to invite back 100 girls and you were #101. or #600. We just don't know and that's why we all advise you to try not to obsess about it too much. I know, I know. Easier said than done.

Im rooting for you!! As others have said, it only takes 1 and it sounds like you have an open mind. Hang in there and keep us posted. Good Luck!

Thank you! It is not a perfect system whatsoever. My friend in a sorority at a different school has been trying to comfort me all day with how flawed the system is.

Lol yeah, I know you guys aren't the best choice. I see GCers post all the time how you can't give advice because you are not the ones rushing the PNM. I was just asking for some insight on whether or not some people were just not meant to be in a sorority...or just not get a bid for that matter.

I asked my two Pi Chis...they don't understand either. One of them even said that she was very disappointed in her chapter for how they pass up on such great girls. Both of them said how they were shocked when they saw my schedule. I mentioned that I was released from the process last year, and they didn't understand that either.

Yes, I've thought about all those things. My friend (goes to a school BIG on greek life and she's in a sorority) has been approving ALL of my outfits. If anything, I thought I was awkward and shy last year because I was a freshman. However, some of the sororities must have saw something in me that I didn't see and kept inviting me back (minus the last day). That is not the case this year. At the first round, I felt confident and so comfortable. I was surprised at how outgoing and easy it was to talk to everyone. And I know it's not my breath....our Pi Chis have us pop a mint before every chapter. ;)

Thanks for all your reasons though! They were actually interesting to hear that sororities judge on things like that during recruitment.

Thank you! Few more days till we see my fate...

Well Wishful, it sounds like you've done everything you can do, including looking inward. Just hold your head up and be positive and hopefully it will all work out great. I do wish you the very best of luck and yes, please share your story when it's done.

Thank you! Just gonna try to be positive and hope that things work out for the best.

I am a believer in positive thinking and in visualizing; I also believe that if you put out negative energy, it will affect you in negative ways. This is my way of saying "be positive, please relax, and let go of the fear." We all say the same thing: it only takes one. Know that! Believe it! Let the story play out now... and I'm sending positive intentions your way.

Thank you! I'm trying to visualize the positive. The potential to "run home" is getting me through recruitment.

How are your grades? I skimmed through your posts and didn't see anything. Grades can be a huge factor at some schools.

I have well over a 3.5 and a leadership role on campus. At my school, the GPA requirements for a current college student looking to join a sorority can range anywhere from 2.5-3.0. Those GPA requirements are a little stricter for high school students, but my GPA last year for recruitment was a 4.4 (3.8 unweighted).

Exactly. Nervous people make other people nervous. I'm guessing from your description of your school that there are sorority members who are TWICE as worried about recruitment as you are.

Come here and word vomit all you want, but be confident, interested and kind the minute you walk into those parties.

I totally agree. You may totally turn people off if you go in to parties a cowering mess of poor self esteem. You are good enough. You are smart enough. Recruitment IS imperfect. Great girls are released every year that just dont shine in this environment. Don't shoot yourself in the foot by freaking out. Good luck!

To everyone above, I try to be calm and confident going into the houses. There really is no awkward pauses or word vomit on my part. Maybe the girls pick up on something about me that I don't though.

Thanks to everyone for being so supportive towards me! I really didn't expect any responses from this.

When do you get your next round of invitations?

Hi Wishful:

Here are my two cents:

For reasons beyond my control, there have been some unfortunate things going on in my life recently. As a result, I've been told that sometimes I look very serious (and thus unapproachable). This is totally not normal for me.

Because of these comments (and based upon recent photos I've seen of myself), I've been concentrating on smiling (not *fake* smiles) and standing tall with good posture. As well, I've paid attention to my body language (e.g. arms crossed vs. open stance, etc.) As vain as it seems, I've even practiced in front of the mirror to better understand (and address) how I look to others while in conversation.

I've found that by smiling and maintaining an open posture, I feel more relaxed and engaged.

Be yourself and be the best self you can be!

(I apologize if this is too simplistic and obvious).

Don't apologize! This is important stuff!

Lol no need to apologize! It's sweet that you actually took the time to give advice so thanks :)

It only takes one and if you get that one, remember, they wanted you! Don't think of the cuts, think of the possibilities. Best of wishes with the rest of recruitment!

Thanks for your wishes!! I'll keep everyone up to date with the process next week!

People might have said this already, but remember it only takes one. Do research on the chapters you have left and be kind and outgoing in the ones you return to. But come up with a plan if you do get released for getting involved in other activities.

Side note: Several of my sisters had only 3 left after the first round! And had one left after skits (like me). Well, they're my sisters now! So it can work out.

Some uplifting recruitment stories about this: http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...d.php?t=128823
And I'll shamelessly plug my own... because I really think it might help you to read. http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...d.php?t=129122

Aww thank you for your uplifting stories! I'm glad you found your home...that must have been nerve-wracking just having 1 sorority for a few days. I hope I will find my home as well. Just a few more days...

I am going through rush right now, and so far, it has been great. There is a bit of understated competition between the houses at my university that you can really feel, but it does not phase me. I only wish that the process was the same for you.

Hoping the best for you... I too have often wondered how girls with good grades, good appearance slip through the cracks. Keep being yourself and give the 3 you have left your all. Let them know how happy you are to be there!

I wanted to second this notion. I have a lot of health issues and sometimes when I am in pain or not feeling well, I come across as "mad" or upset, even among my family members who knew me well. Sometimes we need to be conscious of our body language, because people can give off mixed signals. In my situation, I sometimes need to say "hey, I'm not feeling well, so if I'm a bit quiet, that's why".