Did you choose the wrong sorority?
 

This is the flip side to the new "how did you know" thread. I don't know how many people will want to publicly answer such a question, but it is thought-provoking.

Did you choose the wrong sorority? Do you think you would have been happier in a different group? Even if you are committed to your own sorority, have you ever admitted to yourself that if you had it to do over again you would have switched the order on your preference card?

No.

Nope, not once.

I would switch the order on my preference card...only because I didn't put Chi Omega first originally, which, in retrospect, was bad judgement. Luckily I still ended up in Chi Omega and it is without a doubt the best fit for me.

Oh, HAIL no.

Actually, I knew after the first day. And it was completely unexpected, too. I had heard lots about some other houses among people in my hometown, but nothing about the house I pledged. I think it was because the chapter lots of girls from other parts of Florida.

Being totally honest here...

I LOVED the close friends I met in GSS. I had great experiences and overall I consider it a great choice...

However...I always wonder what would have happened if I had gone through NPC recruitment. I signed up but chickened out since I was so shy. Who knows if I would have even got a bid? But sometimes I wonder.

So if you are debating on going through recruitment or not...I say go for it!

yeah, I know I didn't choose the wrong sorority, but I do wonder if things might have been different

I wonder if women who go through informal recruitment or COB are more prone to wonder "what if"? Because they didn't visit every house during formal recruitment, once they are on the other side they realize they probably would have fit in and enjoyed other chapters as well.

Just because you go through informal rush doesn't mean you don't get to visit every chapter. It simply means you aren't COMPELLED to do so. If you choose to limit your options, that's your choice.

As far as women who join through COB without ever having gone through any other form of rush, or without knowing any other sorority's women, they are few and far between.

Same here. I love my ritual and it is so special to me, but I have considered transferring to a different school's chapter of my sorority.

I never have.

But it's OK, I'm not supposed to comment on recruitment at all because I went through dirty, rotten, informal recruitment. I'll just sit on my hands now.

Um, I'm not sure what your point is. I went through informal recruitment as well. I don't consider myself any less of a sorority woman than those who went through formal recruitment.

No to all of the above.

I don't think that was directed at you. It was likely directed at all of the folks who scream "You have no idea what you're talking about because you went through COB. Don't comment and stay in your lane!" in some of these threads.

Nope, never. I knew Tau Delta was right for me, and the weirdness of my recruitment experience proved that (I was dropped from recruitment before preference, but still filled out a bid card, put TD first, and ended up with a bid*)

I *do* wonder what would have happened if I had gone to Bethany or Penn State or Ball State rather than Otterbein, if I would have participated in NPC recruitment, and if I had, if I would have ended up with a bid, and if a bid, to where?





*Note: This is a local campus, we do things different than the NPC, so PNM lurkers, don't take this as a "This can happen to me!" story.

Sometimes I wonder. Mainly because I have ended up hanging out with more women who were in my other pref chapter. However, I have met most of them through my boyfriend, who I wouldn't have met/dated had I joined. He dated a girl in that chapter who was very active and president at one time.

I wouldn't be where I am without KD.

Consider your sample here, you're talking to collegiate sorority members and alumnae who are either active or are at least active enough to participate in a sorority website years after their collegiate membership.

COB or formal, it's not going to really reflect here because of your population.

Yes and no. COB doesn't necessarily only mean COB immediately after formal. Many chapters who struggle with numbers COB year round. I would guess there are many women who come to GC who went through informal or were COBed and didn't go through formal recruitment.

And I think you can love your sorority and still wonder if you made the right choice. When my own chapter closed, I wondered if I had made the right choice.

Going through COB or informal only has nothing to do with actually knowing people in the other sororities.

As far as a chapter closing and all that, if you want to think be at odds with someone, it's more as the women who are running the sorority on a national level rather than the sorority (historically or presently) itself. See: "If Bush gets re-elected I'm going to Canada." Pretty much everyone who said that didn't follow through, because they still appreciate what America was founded on and the opportunities that are here. NO sorority is without a traumatic chapter closing or two or 10 and a lot of it is just what personalities are where at what time. The only instance that I can think of truly thinking the sorority as A WHOLE was the wrong choice is back when groups still had white clauses and a chapter tried to initiate women of color.

No.
BUT I did have the satisfaction of having a friend of my mother's who was an alumna of a chapter I was very interested in but who dropped me after I broke into tears at their party (I had just received news that my aunt had died at age 36) ask my mother at my graduation - "How come we didn't get her?" I had just been recognized as the Outstanding Senior Woman of my college class. That was nice. I enjoyed it more than is probably right.

No but I wonder what would have happened if I went through earlier. I joined the Fall of my Sophomore year and joined a chapter where I had very close friends. I wonder what would have happened if I would have gone through formal my Freshman year as I would not be surprised if I ended up elsewhere just based on where my head was my freshman year and my lack of knowledge of anyone other than a handful of girls in each chapter. I think wonder how I would have turned out. I love my sorority so much and I love my sisters and I wonder if I would have been miserable if I had gone through formal and ended up somewhere else.

This.

I do believe sometimes I picked the wrong chapter. Which is my fault of course I could have turned down my bid. I had a bunch of friends in a house on my campus, and seeing it from an outsiders point of view it seemed great. I rushed formal as a sophomore, but I really did give other chapters a chance. I actually would have rather joined another and have close friends in multiple house. But it worked out how it worked out and I am embracing the chance to have a house at all.

Lane-swerving here, but I just like to bring up this question:

Is it possible to choose the wrong sorority if you got all the experiences and bonding that you're supposed to get?

Perhaps there are multiple chapters that may have worked.

That said, I do know of a few friends at my college who went through formal recruitment, just didn't feel it during their pledging period, and dropped before initiation. One thing about all of those is that they wouldn't be on here today as they're no longer part of the Greek community.

You're missing my point. By asking this on GC you're selecting a population that might not represent the whole population of sorority members, collegiate or alumnae.

Were one to do a survey of all members, there's going to be a different response than people who have chosen to participate, often representing their letters, on a greek website.

I've never felt like I made the wrong decision. I've very, very happy.
That being said, every NPC chapter on my campus is awesome, and I think anywhere I ended up would have been the right place.
Would I change where I am? HELL. NO.

Yeah, it is a skewed sample, but I don't think she is trying to get an accurate representation of everyone Greek; just wants to hear our personal stories.

As for me, I am so in love with everything Theta. :D

This.

I just find people's stories fascinating whether it is on GC or elsewhere. I thoroughly enjoy the recruitment stories (past and present) and hearing about all the individual experiences people have as Greeks.

:)

No. I will forever bleed azure blue & white.

But I do wonder if I cut chapters along the way in Recruitment where I might have made friends, if not loved enough to lose my tunnel vision!

No, Zeta Tau Alpha was and is truly where I belong, but I do sometimes wonder what may have turned out differently if I hadn't missed the second day of our second round of formal recruitment, or if I hadn't gone into recruitment totally blind. I'm sure the result still would have been the same ZTA is my home.

Of course, I get that, I'm just saying that's why she's getting no one saying OH YES ME! And probably won't get an answer to her speculation that COB might be different than formal. Because those people aren't likely to be here :p

I wasn't interested in joining greek life at all. Looking back I wish I had taken the time to meet more members of other NPC groups and be more involved in social aspects, but I was working full time, a math and statistics major, and active in the marching band and administrative staff there. I know where I ended up was great for me. I have, however wondered about whether Sigma Kappa would have been the right fit for me at a different university, as the personality of each chapter is so different from one school to the next. Just because SK was a great fit for me at my school, doesn't mean it would have been right at all somewhere else.

We've discussed this on GC before. If I'd gone to a different school (though, I won't name it here) there is NO WAY I would have joined Phi Sigma Pi. My sister has told me before that had her chapter of AGD been a different one she wouldn't have fit in there--nor would they have accepted me.

No, I love Pi Phi and it's 100% where I belong. But I do wonder sometimes what it would have been like in some of the other chapters.

More often I wonder if I would have been a Pi Phi or even gone Greek if I'd attended any of the other schools I applied to. I was sort of anti-Greek originally and would never have rushed freshman year without deferred recruitment. I might have gone Greek - and maybe even joined Pi Phi - at Syracuse, but probably not at any of my other schools. And, in my hypothetical retrospection, that would have been a mistake.

I will say there is one chapter I discounted right off the bat that now, looking back, I wish I had given a chance.

I think I got pretty lucky. From day 1, I was in love with DG and have never been more nervous in my life than when I would walk up to get my schedule each morning. While I liked the other houses, I always checked for DG first before reading the rest. So no, I definitely don't think i'm in the wrong sorority. I know I was absolutely meant to be a Delta Gamma.

No. I love my sorority. I love what we stand for and I'm proud of the many accomplishments of my sisters! I can honestly say, I'm pretty easy to please and I would have been happy in any of the 26 NPCs but, like Honeychile bleeds Azure and White, I bleed Rose and White. It really drove it home for me how much I love my sisters when that unfortunate event occurred and a sister passed away unexpectedly. My sisters all came together to honor her. It also showed me how much my sisterhood values my education when I was awarded a scholarship. I've met so many incredible women and leaders that I get to call my sisters! Every day, I'm thankful to call myself a member of an NPC and especially a sister of Phi Mu!

I never for a second worried that I wasn't really meant to be a Delta Zeta. I felt at home there from day one and I was so awed by and touched by the Ritual that I can't imagine being part of another group.

I've even loved all the alumnae I've met since college! All in all, a perfect fit for me :)

sadly I think I did

Well I don't know. I just don't really bond well with people at my sorority. When I rushed, the sorority I wanted to be in turned me down on the 2nd day (skit day). Recently I kept on wondering if things would be different if I was in that sorority, or any others really.

I know this is sad, but these days I have been thinking about dropping out of my sorority. But I'm gonna be a senior...and I know rushing again as a senior is like almost impossible

blahh.