Random Pubic Hair Rant
 

I'm walking down the hallway the other day and I see this guy I know and he's got something wrong with his face, like a wierd disease on his chin . . . I wanted to go up to him and ask what was up but I didn't want to him to feel bad so I go up to this sorority girl that knows him . . . and she says he grew a goatie, and I'm like Oh, he's growing a beard? And she's like no, he already grew a goatie.

She's kind of blunt so she leans in and whispers: no one has the heart to tell him it looks like he has pubic hair implants on his face, like the "hair club" for men . . .

Ok, so this is for the guys . . .

Look, if you don't have enough Testosterone to DHT conversion (those are hormones that give you male secondary sex characteristics) to give you THICK HAIR GROWTH . . .

DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT, grow little curly pubic hair like things on your chin!!

I mean sheez, do you know how stupid it looks when you are trying for the unshaven lumberjack style and getting the 13 year old pre-puberty, pre-voice change, little virgin with a small penis appearance?

I know, I know, the media has spent a lot of time and effort portraying pubes on your chin as cute, but did you ever stop to think that the people that invent those styles are mostly middlae age men with same sex orientation that are no doubt wondering what you look like with your pants off? So they figured out a way of getting a sneak peek by having you advertise on your chin?

I mean I am so not into hazing but if some new members were to come forward with pubic hair on their chins like some athlete's foot fungus . . . I would almost have to haze them within an inch of their lives . . . or give them steroids, or ask them to Ritually shave one another . . . oops wrong movie.

So anyway, final word of caution:

If its going to be curly, fuzzy, in some wierd color, someone could refer to it as pubic hair, or it looks like that a girl would be waxing befor e putting on a bikini don't let it infest your chins!

And if you do and we meet, expect me to laugh hysterically at you.

Don't be that guy . . .

James you scare me.

But don't worry I am not that guy.

You do well to fear me:)

Funny shit... yet true!!!

I said scared not fear there is a difference.

Actually, a few of my friends and I were talking about this the other day! We went to the movies together on a Friday night. If you arrive at the movies around 10pm, you will see what is known as the "middle school" crowd. They all stand around the curb trying to act all tough. The girls are in mini skirts and a tube top (How can these mothers let their daughters dress like that? I notice more and more middle school girls wearing outfits that college girls would only dare wear to clubs! When I was in middle school, my mom stuck me in polo shirts and skirts that came to at least my knees!) The boys are all in FUBU and have their baseball caps on backwards. They act all "hard" until their mother pulls up in the minivan and take them home. We saw this kid sitting on the curb with a toothpick hanging out of his mouth. He was probably about 11. I saw these little straggely things hanging off his face. At first I thought it was dirt but then I realized that this prepubescent boy thought he actually had a beard!!! It was actually kinda cute. He probably thought it made him look like he was grand old age of 16. That is until my friend, Amanda, who has no shame, walked up to him and said loudly, "Don't worry! You're mom will be here soon!" The poor kid turned bright red as the other middle schoolers pointed and laughed at him. I look back at my middle school days and can remember those kids that would grow out their 3 pieces of facial hair as long as they could....until some bully would yank it off their face while they were meandering around the cafeteria. It looked sooooo ridiculous. It is far better to have a baby face then to grow out your peach fuzz (what I call it). Plus, when you grow out your three strands of facial hair, it makes you look younger. Wait until you can grow a full beard before letting your hair loose. Girls don't think it's cool that you have peach fuzz....we'll just laugh at you. ;)

:D ROFLMAO!! You guys are cracking me up!!

A Serious Question!!!
 

James, are we starting to rub off on you:confused:

You are starting to getttttt a lot stranger than the Normsal nutsoiods and moronic crazys:D

God if you did not sing in I would think i wrote it, well with more Earpisms, My lingo!!!!

Well You are learning!!!!!!!:D

Tom, does this mean James might be a future president one day? ;)

DA!
 

Da me!!!!!!:confused:

i forgot on of the least impotent jobs Vice President!!!

What do you think>:D

Heres something just as bad...
 

OK, I can remember being in 8th grade and Troy Aven who was of cuban ethnic origin had a full on moustache. The part that stuck in my crawl was that it looked really bad. It needed to be trimmed and groomed...and bad. It wasnt even that flattering on him. I sat in front of him in Biology and can remember telling him ('cause I have no shame either) he needed to shave that thing off of his face. He told me withthe straightest face, "but I'm not old enough yet." I'm like dude, you can grow a better 'stash than my dad. Shave that $hit off. Ya look like a fool. Last I knew ya only needed to be of a certain age to buy lottery tickets, tobacco and booze, not razors!

I gurantee at our renuion I'll be reminding troy of that story. :p

Off topic . . .

That is so true ZTAngel . . . I was sitting in some woman's clothing store with the Girl of The Moment, bein
useless and making inane comments like "you really look thin in that" and "wow, can you wear that? I think that outfit is illegal in seven states:)." (Note for men: Women like active and positive reinforcement when shopping and dresing room mirror can be traumatic). So then outwalks this 11-13 year old girl in an outfit that transformed her from seller of girl scout cookies to instant jail bait. Dad was sitting outside the dresing room, took one look, and just said NO! (Like those new and old programs out there for youths, you know which ones: "Just say NO to making your little girl into a target for every sexually active male above the age of 8." And D.A.R.E. to keep your little girl from looking like a slut).

But oh well, maybe its all the steroids oin the water but girls seem so well endowed these days . . .

Speaking of pubes, a fraternity here just got caught hazing their pledges by making them clean the floor after the actives shaved their balls.

Ewwww.:eek:

Groos.

Sick.

Thanks for the mental image DBB.

What I wanna know is this; how does that come about? After the chap intramural game and all the brothers are sitting around having a beer and one looks to another and says, "Hey steve, that was a great pass you threw. I wish we kept stats, cause your having a great season. You've thrown for a ton of yards this season. Lets celebrate by shaving our junk together."
:confused:

WTF?!?!?!?!?!

I'm gonna be a bit descriptive here, but bear with me as I am striving for a point. I trim (not shave) my package. I dont want the Black Forrest down there or anything. I know most of my brothers keep tidy down there. I lived in house for a year so I know whats up. Were not all prudish or anything, hell quite a few of us were even naked in a hot tub a few weeks back with some ladies after a chapter party. We've got quite a few jocks who are comfortable with their equip. But a group shave? Thats a bit much. As for my bros, even though I KNOW they shave, they never would admit to it. Even if we were plowed. My chapters just not like that. I dunno if its a southern thing or what, but my chapter just wouldnt do that. Not only would we not do that, we dont even talk about that stuff. I mean we'll joke an tease each other about hooking up with a big girl or whatever, but we'd never sit around and shave our junk together. Thats a whole different kind of "Sharing of the Brotherhood" that I just dont wanna be a part of.

Since when was "pass the candle" replaced with "pass the razor" ?!?
:confused:

Well. I've just learned more about men than I ever cared to know.

Lifesaver, for once I can say, and really mean...I'm speechless.

BTW- Oh forget it, I'm STILL speechless.

"When I was 12, I was given my first scribe and had my testicles ritualistically shaven. There is really nothing quite as breathtaking as a shorn scrotum" - Dr. Evil

I would not call that hazing . . . I am not sure what I would call it though . . .

As far as the Actives shaving the pledges . . . that means that a group of men let other men take a steel razor to their most sensitive parts . . .

(James steps on his soap box microphone in hand and in an impressive Winston Churchill like voice)

Fellow Members of the Greek Community, I have spent my entire life actively avoiding threats to those areas of my body. And I would never, ever, allow anyone to forcibly depilate me with such a Loraina Bobbit style method . And as I run now for the position of Sensitive Body Parts Protector I have only one platform, with one plank, if elected I will never allow anyone to take razor sharp stainles steel blades to the nether regions of your body and will stand guard over them as if they were my very own . . .

(James steps off his soapbox)

BTW, not to be all Clintonesq about it, but it also depends on their defination of their is. In what tense is it used. Carnation, you're an english teacher, whats the word for a word that has several meanings? I mena whos "their"? Who has ownership when the word is used as such? Who has implied ownership? WAHT DOES THEIR MEAN????

"Possession is 99% of the law." I would assume this implies-whoever has POSSESSION of said article(s) would be the "their" in the previous statement. Therefore if said article(s) is in the hands of someone, would that not imply it becomes their possession?

One could argue, and reasonably so, that since said article(s), upon closer examination, may more readily be defined as an asset. In such a case, the holder of the asset becomes definable as a trustee. Therefore, the trustee is resposible for the maintanence of the assets but is in no way responsible for any loss or devaluation of the asset....just ask your broker.

Since the orginal rant was about facial hair looking a bit...odd....

What's up with that chin strap facial hair some guys got going on? I don't know how to describe it other than that. It just looks kind of weird.... It's the equivalent of girls shaving an American flag or something crazy into their pubes. Way too much time and not worth the effort. And it's funny.

My big problem about pubes is this: A lot of guys expect a girl to be nicely waxed, NADs, Epil stop n sprayed at all time...however, some of them are coming at you looking like an 80's porn star!

Icky.

P.S. Please do not ask me about the last time I heard of a woman shaving a flag into her nether regions. I haven't. And I don't want to.

Personally, I am partial to the mutton chops.

Lifesaver, I just saw your post (I've been studiously avoiding this thread recently!) and I'm a Spanish professor, not an English one!;)

Well, my honey has a little facial hair in the goatie region, but it is not goatie long. He looks Puerto Rican and it is really cute. Trust me, they do serve a purpose. :D

first, as for the facial hair...i completely agree that it looks like pubic hair and it is tacky. it isn't good when your first impression of someone is that they have a bunch of pubic hair glued to their chin. i also don't like it because when you are kissing someone w/ facial hair it always seems like you have a rash on your upper or lower lip (wherever they have facial hair) and it hurts.

second, i agree with guys at least trimming down there, i mean who wants a mouth full of hair while visiting down there. however, a bunch of guys shaving eachother is not something i would want to picture. i mean couldn't they have found something a little better to do. i would be freaked out if my sisters were to say we were all going to gather in a room for that purpose. if i do that, I'LL do it. i don't need assistance from all of my sister. what i do down there is between ONLY me and my boyfriend.

LMAO...seriously!!!:)

ROFL!!! Are you sure you're not an attorney?!! I could just see some guy at a bar: "Hey baby, wanna be my trustee?"

MY GOD, poor Buford is just cringing here!:D

You people are sick sick and sick!;)

Forget today as tommarrow hopelfully will come!;)

Sorry C, my bad. I new you were a prof, and knew it dealt with languages, just thought it was english. Still love me?;)

This was kind of funny.

Two years later this thread is still funny. :p

This thread is freaking hilarious!

haha

hrmm

Since everyone seems to touch on the down south region I will add a story to the mix.

Before I met my hubby senior yr in HS, I was dating another guy who was on the swim team. They were heading for state championships and could possibly win it, so they got together and I kid you not, had a group shave. It was a group of all guys in the locker room and then all girls in the other locker room, and they all shaved. The guys shaved EVERYTHING, I mean everythign, hair off head, arms, legs, back, chest, and then down south. They all shaved their pubes, then took turns shaving their butts. Now my ex was kind of manly so him and two of his friends were like no way, so now this is funny, but he went home and asked his mom to shave his butt for him. She told me and he confirmed. I about died. I just cant imagine shaving everything because it takes off like 000002 of a second or something off your swim times.

Plus all these swim guys shaving their pubes and backs and all that. EWWWW..... Needless to say I saw him naked in his shaven glory and we didnt date much longer after that. ha ha. I met my hubby and ditched the ex for the hubby lol....

I have a story to add, believe me, the experience was truly horrifying, BOTH TIMES. I've just gotten into cycling and as luck would have it, there's a 15mile bike trail not far from where I live. Fabulous...only you have to veer around little kids and walkers...and runners. Normally this isnt a problem, you let them know you're there and they more safely out of your way and you do your part to make sure you're doing the same. This day, have a great pace going, weather is warm, but nice....and suddenly there he is: the rippling wonder. I guess it was a little warm but the sun was setting so I see no reason for the shirt to have been off on this 50 year old man....but unfortunately it was...and he was all greasy, sweaty, glimmering in the sun <---you know, in a bad way. So I'm kind of becoming mesmerized by this jiggling shiny object rapidly becoming closer and closer to me and then I notice it.........I swear to you he had patches of pubic hair on his BACK.....
Like I said I normally try my best to say that I'm approaching but for the life of me I couldnt say a word because I was so horrified....I did manage, however, to not run into Jabba the Hut. I say this happened twice because I unfortunately encountered him again on my way home and to avoid personal injury, I had to force myself to look away.


...the things you'll see on a bike trail....who would've known....

I dated a swimmer in high school. I was most sad about the loss of his pretty brown hair and having to look at that awful buzz cut for the months after state.

And he was an All-American so obviously it helps. ;)

LMAO piphimaggie that story was funny!! :D

ttt

Re: Random Pubic Hair Rant
 

that guy would probably be my roommate. There are times where I just want to take a lighter and burn off the 15 to 20 hairs he grows on his face. Blech.

I have a "bald spot" on my upper lip from some accident when I was in Jr High- so never will I grow a mustach. I'm content with my goatee.

Kath is really into the sole (soul?) patch or flavor saver look, whatever you prefer to call it. She thinks it's super hot.