The question "when are you going to have kids?"
 

"Pay for me to stay at home with them, doctors bills, clothes, food, diapers, furniture, a car, and their college tuition and I'll consider it."

I've said that to live-in's mom.

I've also said to my dad that that means he'd have to move to Chicago. That worked, too (he could never imagine leaving the house that I grew up in).

Ugh! This question should never, ever be asked.

I can't count the number of friends that I have that have had struggles with infertility, miscarriages, and even stillbirths. So very sad.

And KSU- 35 is fine. I was almost 34 with the first one and almost 36 with the second. Both totally healthy kids and completely healthy pregnancies.

(and I had a blast in my 20s :))

"Have you started a Trust fun for said kid? How generous of you!"

"We practice daily, but it's just not working. Any tips?"

"When we're ready. When are you going to stop being a nosy asshole?"

"When we've decided that vacations and trips to Europe are no longer worth it."

This is a sensitive topic and yes, I have been brought to tears more than a few times. Especially when someone asked me this TWO days after I had a D&C for a missed miscarriage (yup boys and girls, this is how I spent our 5th wedding anniversary) :rolleyes:

A question that should never be asked. For one, you don't know if they are having fertility issues!

I was 17 days away from my 35th when we got married.

But I have said, "when we feel financially comfortable enough and don't have to rely on taxpayer money to do it" (yes, I aimed this at some of my cousins who got knocked up at 16 and have a few different baby daddies)
We waited a bit because we are from that school of: "if you can't feed 'em don't breed 'em"


Don't get me started on stupid shit people say when you are having difficulty getting pregnant again! :rolleyes:

Another answer to that question:

Since insurance doesn't cover fertility issues, you got a few grand you gonna slip my way?
Shuts them right on up!

I've gotten asked when we're having MORE kids (we're not). I tell them that I've already got a boy and girl, and that's all they come in. Why do I need another one? Is there a third option here?

I'm in the tears/anger category. I get asked this question a LOT, and have two approaches based on the situation. I've found that simply answering completely and truthfully usually makes people the most uncomfortable and least likely to ever ask again. If that isn't an option, I go for "It's complicated", which tends to shut people up.

As a newlywed, we've been getting this NON STOP both before and after the wedding.

When people ask, especially rude strangers, somehow my manners fail me and I resort to the "Well, while we're checking in on the state of the uterus, would you like to know about my bowel movements too?"

Seriously world, unless the woman's water breaks in front of you, do.not.ask. Just don't.

And yes, guys get asked this question also:

My responses are:

"You wanna marry me first?"

"Can you even afford yours?"

"When Trojans goes under"

"Sure if you want to have 2 of mine."

"Your kids scare me into not having any."

Hehehehe.

I'll get back to you all around 2011 *wink*

The only people who ask are on DH's side b/c they're the idiots. My family/friends are smart enough to know we'll have them when we're ready.

Normally I say "when we can afford daycare."

What I really want to say, but DH would kill me "Well right now we don't interact with a lot of positive parental models, we're waiting a bit to see if that changes (directed at MIL and BIL/SIL)." Since they're sucky parents.

I get asked this question at least once a week. I am the only person at my work that does not have kids. I have dogs, though, and they are quite enough work. When people ask why I don't have kids, I tell them that I can't put a kid in the back yard with a bowl of water and a chew toy while I go to the bar with my friends.

"Right now, I'm working on keeping my fish alive. Next, I'll try a dog. They don't call 'em 'baby steps' for nothin'!"

I'm so glad I'm not the only one with this issue. I'll have to remember some of these - although now that I'm 35 and almost 11 years married, the constant nagging has subsided. I guess they figured it's too late.

PRICELESS!

LMBO!!! KSU, i LOVE this thread!!

Someone just asked me this question the other day, so that's what prompted my response in the other thread.

I've been dating a guy a few weeks. He's wonderful, but isn't that how it always is in the 1st few weeks? I happened to be on the phone with my grandma & mentioned that I had a date. Why did I do that? She got so excited & was like well "maybe..." I cut her off before she could get started.

I'm only 26 & not even close to engaged but I get this a lot. Here's one that stands out:

family member: Do you want kids?
Me: Yes. What I don't want is a baby daddy.
family member: Well, how are you going to have kids then?
Me: Well, I'd like to think that I'd have a husband. :rolleyes:
family member: :confused:

I love it! I adopted my dog over a year ago and she's plenty of work for me right now.

I've vented more than once about the "when are you going to have kids?" thing.

DH and I are both only children, so the only way our parents can be grandparents is if we have kids. The ILs started in before the ink was even dry on the ketubah. :rolleyes: My parents started dropping hints around the time I turned 30. We've each told our respective parents to back off, and so far they've honored that, but I think that as I approach 35 they'll start in again.

DH and I are also the only young couple without children in our congregation. It seems like everybody is waiting for us to have a baby or three. My favorite: "I'm looking forward to attending your child's bar mitzvah." (My response: "Don't hold your breath.") But I think they're starting to give up on us. We just celebrated our 10th anniversary, and no baby, so maybe they think we have fertility issues. I don't care what they think, as long as they're not pestering me to have a baby!

Can I trade ILs with you?

So my friends and I were eating dinner and talking about who would be the next one to have a kid (the only one in our group that has a kid is my friend's 18 yr old sister)....apparently it's gonna be me.

It doesn't matter that i'm the ONLY one who isn't having/or had sex and it doesn't matter that i'm the only one who is single, but according to my friends i'm next. Sperm bank anyone? :rolleyes: I'm not THAT desperate people.

Then today I was walking around Target w/ my aunt and cousin, and we passed by the baby section. Of course I "oohed" and "awwed" at the baby clothes like I always do, and my aunt said "you need to have a baby soon! A little girl would be so adorable" I almost keeled over. At least I know one family member who wouldn't shit a brick if I ended up pregnant soon :rolleyes:

People have finally gotten the subtle hint. I have told them the following: if it happens I will tell you when I am damned good and ready (it sucks having to "untell" people). Other than that, don't f*cking ask!

I would just kindly tell them it is on your "bucket list" and then smile. It is not worth your being frustrated or tossing out a foolish reply. I like to stand taller in situations like this!:)

That's funny, because my dad gave me that line to use if people started asking! "When are you going to have kids?" "WIDGAR! When I'm damned good and ready!" So far I've been nicely stating "John and I will have kids when we're ready to be parents." We're 23 and we look 16, so people (especially random acquaintances that feel the need to ask!) take the hint really fast.

Why are my reproductive habits so enthralling for the women at work?
A newer mom (10mo old baby) made the comment today "What are you waiting for, you should just have babies!"
My response, "Did you start a trust fund for my future child?"
Hers "Oh you can do it on a limited budget, that's what we're doing."
Me "That was your choice." Then I walked away.

Seriously people - F-OFF about the kids thing, the husband and I will have them when we are able, thanks drive through. I think my next response is going to be, "Why is there an office pool?"

When I can afford to raise them and have the mental state to do so happy!

I like the answer: "NOW!!!", and then start to squat. That will throw the person off-kilter.

Seriously LOL!!!!

Other than the first time I was asked (I was all of 19 and a junior in college), I usually start the facts of life talk. "A mommy and a daddy have to love each other very much, so much that they express it in a very special and private way. That starts a baby growing right in the mommy's tummy area..." Shuts them up every time.

Wait until you have one kid. Immediately people start asking about having another. My baby is 2 months old. Our power was out last week, and I was talking to my dad on the phone complaining and getting out the candles. My mom in the background says "maybe they'll get to working on number 2." Even people at work were asking when number 2 was coming when I took her in to visit this week.

Seriously people, who do you think I am, a Duggar?

Holy crap. I think my response would be "you do realize I just pushed a HUMAN BEING out of my vagina, right? You are aware I didn't lay an egg?"

Hell...that's how I'm here! My sister and I are 11 months and 2 weeks apart! :eek: My grandparents, however, were not excited about the prospect! Birthcontrol, anyone?!

Pretty much.

My current answer: When I get a new kitchen. I told my husband when we bought our current house in 2008 that we aren't having kids until we remodel the kitchen. There is no way I would want to deal with being pregnant and going through a remodel, or having an infant/toddler/any other age child while going through a remodel. Especially of a kitchen. Therefore kitchen > baby. Period.

When my mom starts hinting I tell her I don't have a new kitchen yet, and if she'd like to contribute to the fund she's more than welcome to. Considering that I was the only full-time income for 4 years & am still the primary breadwinner, we own two properties (i.e. $$ down payments, upgrades, unexpected repairs, rental issues, mortgages, etc), and are dealing with other things? Shelling out $10-40k on a kitchen is not on our priority list.

Of course, it also helps that my husband and I both have brothers that are older than us & have infants. One is 14 months, one is 3 months. So both sets of parents have grandchildren and are temporarily satisfied :D

I think when it's your own kids, you learn to ignore it better.

I've answered "never" and people have the audacity to ask "why not". Oh, that boils my blood. Hubby says people are just making conversation, but it's rude, and the reasons why I am not having kids still make my heart break.

I also hate hearing "you can always adopt", but again, with my health issues, I couldn't take care of a child as I would see fit, and it's likely that I wouldn't see the kid graduate. I could never knowingly put any child through that.