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Barbie’s Honest to God Authentic Retro Recruitment at a Very Competitive SEC School
Hello Greek Chat friends! My name is Barbie. After life as an astronaut,
http://i791.photobucket.com/albums/y...strobarbie.jpg doctor, http://i791.photobucket.com/albums/y...ctorbarbie.jpg beauty queen (always beating out some persistent but unfortunate looking girl from Pearl, Missisippi) http://i791.photobucket.com/albums/y...arbiequeen.jpg and all around living doll, I decided to give college a try. This is the very true story of my recruitment at a very competitive SEC school. Obviously I have used code names and changed the number of chapters. I can’t have Greek Chatters discovering my true identity since I post here all the time under another name. But it’s real and authentic. I swear to God! There are approximately nine sororities at Competitive SEC University: Bratz Transformers Liddle Kiddles Cabbage Patch Kids American Girls Madame Alexanders Jems Rainbow Brites Strawberry Shortcakes I didn’t have any recommendations or letters of support because, let’s face it, I’m Barbie and I don’t need them. Midge, my best friend from high school, is rushing too. She is a super sweet girl but a little unfortunate in the looks and fashion sense departments. I certainly hope the houses do not cut dear sweet Midge! http://i791.photobucket.com/albums/y...rush/midge.jpg So I put on my Lilly Pulitzer, because that’s what we do in the south you know, and headed off to recruitment. http://i791.photobucket.com/albums/y...illybarbie.jpg As we leave the meeting hall for our parties, we notice some creepy old drunk guy on the sidewalk trying to get us to go to some web site to tell them our recruitment stories. I don’t really understand what he’s saying, but I think I hear something about ponies and rainbows. Our Rho Chi tells us to ignore him since he’s someone who comes back to campus over and over again in painful attempts to make himself relevant to sorority life. We scurry past him and head to our first party of the day! |
Good luck! Go Rainbow Brites!
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Excellent. I have been so bored this week.
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violetpretty likes this.
I would say go American Girls, but they are probably too fat to be seen with the likes of Barbie. |
Finally someone with a sense of humor about rush! I'll pull for Rainbow Brites!
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Best recruitment story since Chuck Norris pledged DDD!!:p
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Morning Parties
Bratz http://i791.photobucket.com/albums/y...rush/bratz.jpg The noise outside the house is huge. Some girls are scared but not me. I’m Barbie and I’m perfect! The Bratz have a reputation for being “popular” with the fraternities if you get my drift. There are even fraternity men at their party. They wear lots of makeup and trashy clothes. I also notice their heads are really huge. I don’t know if they just pledge all the big headed girls who come through recruitment or if something happens to normal headed girls during their ritual. I like my head just the way it is, thanks. So I don’t think I will be coming back here. Transformers http://i791.photobucket.com/albums/y...ansformers.jpg These girls are a little stiff and robotic acting. They have a reputation for being athletic and they show me some super cool death ray moves where they turn some undesirable PNMs into puddles of goo. This makes them sort of like the Chuck Norris of sororities. Although I think it would be cool to learn skills like this, I’m not sure if I click with these girls and it’s hard to be athletic when you’re always wearing 5 inch heels. Liddle Kiddles http://i791.photobucket.com/albums/y...sh/kiddles.jpg http://i791.photobucket.com/albums/y...iddlehouse.jpg The Kiddles are all very petite. They come up to my ankle. They have a super cute house, but I am forced to bend over when I am in there and I can’t stand up. I immediately know this will be a problem if I have to live there. I trip over one while I try to shake off a back spasm and end up poking her in the eye with my stiletto. I don’t think I will be asked back to this chapter. I really don’t care since they are middle tier, and I don’t want to have to worry about tripping over my sisters or chiropractic visits from stooping all the time. Cabbage Patch Kids http://i791.photobucket.com/albums/y...rush/patch.jpg This is the ugly fat girl house for sure. Sorry I have to be so brutally honest, but isn’t that what a retro thread is all about? They all look sort of immature too, almost infant like. No one wants to be a member of Cabbage Patch Kids, and we all can’t wait to leave. We spend most of our time ignoring them since they are quadruple rushing us so we get to munch on their food instead. Because that’s one thing the fat girl sorority has in their favor; they always have lots of really good food. American Girls http://i791.photobucket.com/albums/y...h/american.jpg These girls are top tier and preppy but have a serious reputation for hazing. Tent talk is they are really into circling the fat on their pledges. I’m not afraid though since I’m made of injection molded plastic so I am fat free and fabulous. I had a great time here and know I clicked with everyone. Now it’s time for our lunch break! We’re all starving, but it’s so hard to eat. Midge loves all the houses we’ve visited so far. She’s just that kind of person. So far the American Girls and the Transformers are my favorites. But who will we meet this afternoon? |
Since this thread is truly outrageous, I'm going to root for Jem!
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hijack
I don't know if it's the toy theme, the brutal honesty, the Earp reference or what, but I thought of this thread when I started reading this. end hijack. Carry on, Barbie. |
I am rooting for Madame Alexanders because I am quite sure they are the classiest group and known to have "old money" which is, as we all know, very important in the South.
Love it, Barbie! |
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I've always been a fan so Go American Girls!! |
LOL! This reminds me of the Chuck Norris recruitment story. Can't wait to hear the rest!
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This is HILARIOUS!! please, please continue, and soon!
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More please! I am LOVING it!
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http://www.fashion-doll-guide.com/im...oduction-1.jpg I'm glad there isn't a chapter of the Misfits at her school. Those are crazy B!#$(@s! |
Go, Liddle Kiddles! A guy I know who went to William & Mary in the early to mid '90s said that the KDs all seemed to be short, which seems like a funny stereotype to have but one I'd fit right in with. Yay, short stuff.
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I totally know what school this is!:D Go American Girls!
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Lunch is over and we're starting our afternoon of parties!
Madame Alexanders http://i791.photobucket.com/albums/y...ealexander.jpg This chapter is the tippy top of the top tier. They are all super model beautiful, have 4.0 GPAs, drive brand new Porsches, and do more philanthropy work than Mother Theresa did. Their outfits are perfectly coordinated. They are serving champagne mimosas and have loin cloth clad fraternity boys catering to our every need. They also keep us at their parties as long as they want to. Rush infractions? There’s no such thing as a rush infraction when you’re a Madame Alexander. Rumor has it that if they want you, they take you into the formal living room and if they don’t want you, they take you to the basement and you are never seen again. Needless to say, I am immediately led to the formal living room, because I am perfect. I am so ready to get this process all over with and accept my bid to Madame Alexander. Jems http://i791.photobucket.com/albums/y...srush/jems.jpg These girls are also top tier but are known to be the ones who couldn’t get into Madame Alexander. They are a little over the top with the flash and sparkle compared to the refined elegance and perfection of the MAs. They are wearing sequined pantyhose, which I think is a bit too much. There’s also this thing with the Jems. I don’t know how this thing will affect the way they feel about me. Rainbow Brites http://i791.photobucket.com/albums/y...sh/rainbow.jpg The only word I can use to describe the Rainbow Brites is awkward. They tried hard but the way they color coordinated their hair and outfits came off as a little creepy. The rainbow colored mascots were a nice touch though. They even had a pony that blew rainbows out of its butt. Strawberry Shortcakes http://i791.photobucket.com/albums/y.../shortcake.jpg With their rainbow striped outfits, matching hats, and presence of mascots at their party, it was obvious that the Strawberry Shortcakes were Rainbow Brite wanna-bes. I couldn’t understand why any chapter would want to copy such a bottom tier awkward house. This was a real turnoff and I couldn’t wait to leave. Although it’s pointless for me to return to anyone except Madame Alexander, my Rho Chi tells me that I have to rank all the houses since there’s this pesky detail called “guaranteed placement.” Le sigh. So I rank them this way: Madame Alexanders American Girls Jems Transformers Bratz Liddle Kiddles Rainbow Brites Strawberry Shortcake Cabbage Patch Kids After recruitment we go to a party at the GI Joe fraternity house where my perfect boyfriend Ken is already president, even though he just rushed. All the guys tell me I am perfect for Madame Alexander and can’t wait to see me again at their first mixer next week. |
LOLZ!! I have to ask - does that "thing" about the Jems have anything to do with twins or sequined hose?
Go Madame Alexanders!! |
Holy smokes!! Is that purple Jem girl on drugz or something? I know every house tries to be diverse, but purple is a little over the top!
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I am trying to figure out what this thing is about the Jems but can't...please give me a hint!
BTW, good job, Barbie! We are rooting for you and hoping that you are keeping an open mind and maximizing your opportunities. (although I am secretly hoping the MA's love you like you love them. I suspect they already have your parking place saved. Your pink Barbie Ferrari will fit right in.) |
Barbie you are forgetting to tell us how your BFF Midge is doing!
Although it doesn't sound like you like them, I am personally rooting on Rainbow Brite because they are just awesome!!!!! LOL. |
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LOL hilarious thread!! I loved Jem when I was little so I'm cheering her and the Holograms on!
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I went to this school, and I know what this thing is with the Jems.
You see, Barbie's boyfriend, Ken, was actually born Kendra. She lived life as a girl up through her freshman year in college. She was a Jem before realizing that she was really supposed to be a he, at which point she had reconstructive surgery (and, from what I hear, the doctors did a really bad job) and took up the name Ken. The Jems know the real story behind Barbie's boyfriend, and Barbie absolutely should be concerned with how their knowledge might affect their perception of her. |
Best. Thread. Ever.
It was already in the top 5, but 33girl's post about the dented nipple bumped it to the top spot. I hope all goes as planned for Barbie with the Mu Alphas! |
I have never posted in one of these threads, but this one is the best. I have been collecting vintage Barbies for about 15 years. Here is a picture of Midge dressed in the Sorority Meeting outfit from 1962. She has been on my shelf in this outfit for at least 10 years. I even made her a tiny little pin. So if the Midge in this story doesn't make it, at least mine did. As you can see, she is standing next to Ken in his Fraternity Meeting outfit.
http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o...r/KenMidge.jpg |
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Barbie is gonna be PISSED! |
^^^ Love these dolls! But I am a little nervous for Ken's huge zipper...which brings me back to the post regarding Ken's questionable gender identity and a whole host of other comments that come to mind...
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I'm crying over here! This one is going to be classic.
I don't remember madame alexanders but I feel like there will be a twist, another thing that will hopefully steer Barbie towards American Girls! |
lol. I should find the Chuck Norris thread.
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I am shocked at the gossipy implications being made here about my man Ken and BFF Midge! You greekchatters really are just a bunch of haters! You'd better stop it now or I might have to flounce away without finishing my story (after posting at least 50 more times telling you I'm flouncing that is.) For those cruel people who are casting doubt on Ken, let me assure you he is all man. He simply had a childhood accident that involved a giant zipper and a Gooey Bun. And it's obvious that the photo of him and Midge together was Photoshopped and put on some jealous bottom tier sorority girl's Facebook page! The nerve! It's SO OBVIOUS since Ken would NEVER wear a giant zipper like that given his unfortunate history with zippers. He's a button fly kind of guy only.
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pleeeeeeeeeeaaaase don't go!!!!
pleeeeeeeeeease stay and finish your story!!!! would you mean old GCers leave her alone until she finishes her story!?!? |
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Soldier on...<runs like hell> |
OMG Y'ALL! :confused: I like totally found out where Barbie goes to school! :eek: Barbie, you had better be more discreet! :D You never know who reads these boards! :mad: We'll get you kicked out! ;) Exclamation point! :)
Kidding, of course. I love this thread! |
You spelled "gooy" wrong. ;)
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I will get that Barbie and her little dog as well!
I never post on eBay, I just lurk. But I am steaming mad at this Barbie recruitment story so I had to post the honest to god, true and brutal truth about Barbie.
I have personally worked my whole life to make a perfect life for my DARLING LITTLE DAUGHTER, Angel. I have had to put up years with this phony, insincere, overly competitive Barbie witch during poor little Angel's whole life. I did everything for my DLD Angel and still do. Everything. Even though I did not go to college and thus did not go though rush, I knew that my DLD, Angel, was destined for great things and absolutely certain to be in one of the nation's best sororities, only a top tier sorority for DLD Angel. Top tier, not only locally but nationally, would do for my wonderful, sweet, accomplished, talented and beautiful DLD, Angel. I made sure that I had the time for my DLD Angel to do and be in everything important. I enrolled her in everything I could think of or heard about to make sure that she would be the most popular and be the best, I generally did her homework for her and anything else I could do while Angel was at the many singing, dancing and modeling lessons and classes. I did everything I could do to help my DLD Angel, entering her into every beauty pagent in a 10 state area, all of the important children's talent shows and of course, cheerleading. No place was too expensive for my sweet little Angel nor too far to take her. I sometimes think she grew up in the mini-van. No matter what I did, It seemed everywhere I turned this little witch Barbie was there acting like she was just perfect and acting so sweet and so geniune and so pretty, but I knew better. To make it worse she even transferred into the exclusive private school where I pulled strings to make sure by DLD, sweet little Angel, went and would be with only the best and most elite girls. Public school would not be good enough for the best of the best sorority. Somehow that Barbie found out and the next hing you know she as at the exclusive private school where she was always ruining everything for my little, sweet, wonderful, talented, beautiful, accomplished and perfect DLD Angel. That Barbie witch made life impossible for Angel. Poor Angel always came in second to that supposedly "perfect Barbie" in every beauty pagent, in school, with friends, with the boys, in short she was second to Barbie in everything. I could never understand this Barbie girl and how she did it. She did not have a mother that was nearly as dedicated as I was and am. Her mother just did the basic normal things for her. I have always completely micro-managed every single aspect of Angel's life, even now. Can you just imagine what a total failure I felt like when my DLD, poor little Angel, always had to settle for second best to that Barbie? I tried and tried to get Barbie and Angel together and be BFF and get rid of that little twit Midge, but that Barbie did not seem to like me and neither did her mother. They said I was too pushy among other awful things which I just refused to believe and know they were said out of jealousy. Can you imagine that, being too involved and doing too much? Never, never! When my attempts for my DLD Angel to befriend Barbie failed, I tried to help my DLD Angel by setting that Barbie up. I deliberately made up some really scandalous and horrible rumors about Barbie, Ken and that Midge girl and I spread them to the other truly dedicated and involved mothers. I did every single thing I could think of to try to give my DLD Angel the edge over that little witch. But somehow, no matter how hard I worked, it just got worse for my DLD Angel. Then I tried and tried with to befriend those regular mothers who did not do enough for their daughters. Sadly, my attempts failed. They just could not understand how much they should be doing for their own daughters let alone all I did for my DLD Angel. Over time we were excluded from many of the better activities and poor, sweet, adorable Angel was not nearly as popular as she should have been given all of my efforts to make sure she was the best of the best. That Barbie was always popular but Angel did not have many friends. I personally prefer to think all of those other girls were just jealous of how truly wonderful my DLD Angel really is. When my sweet, adorable Angel started middle school I suddenly knew that I did not have time to waste, as this is the south, and I had to make sure that she would have a perfect recruitment at our state's SEC university. Sadly enough Angel was already in the 6th grade before I realize how much preparation and work we had to do to get her in the best of the best, only top tier for my DLD Angel, and we were running out of time. We just knew that Barbie would go to some sort of beauty school or modeling school and she would finally be out of our lives forever and my little Angel could finally be the center of all of the attention and everyone would recognize her as the true beauty, She would finally be the queen of everything and the most popular girl ever and she would be the one who got a bid fron the best top tier sorority in the whole country. Recruitment became my obsession in addition to everything else I was doing for poor little Angel. I am so lucky I can get by on just a few hours of sleep. I just feel so sorry for those girls whose mothers do not do what they should be doing to make sure their daughters have and are the best at everything. A really caring mother can never do too much is my mantra! I immediately started investigating and found out that the only true top tier sorority chapters at my SEC university, and nationally as well. I found out the best at my SEC school were the Madame Alexanders and then the Jems. I covered every single thing any and every good mother should do for their DLD and secured multiple recommendations to every single sorority at our SEC school, even for those chapters I truly knew where beneath my adorable, talented and perfect DLD Angel. I wanted her to be the one that had a full schedule for every round and the only that got to reject the "lesser, unfortunate" sororities. I would not have any of them reject her, that would be unimagineable. She had to have the perfect recruitment. Because Angel was so overly involved in every activity possible, I started contacting the Madame Alexanders and the Jems for her. I would call to see if I could volunteer to help them with any special projects, if I could help with their philanthrophy and especially if I could help with recruitment. Imagine how awful it was for me when they just seemed to ignore me or tried to seemingly get rid of me. I knew I had to do everything any truly loving and dedicated mother could do to make sure that my DLD Angel got a bid from the Madame Alexanders first or if poor little Angel had to settle for less, then possibly the Jems. However, for some reason they did not seem to want me or my expert help. I was indignant! So I started e-mailing the president and rush chairs for each of the best sororities for Angel. I contacted their advisors and even some of the national officers to let them know how wonderful Angel was and how lucky they would be if she chose them. I created both a facebook account and a myspace account for Angel and posted so many wonderful things about her and her many accomplishments and wonderful pictures. I did everything. Angel was finally going to have her much deserved chance. Can you just Imagine my horror when I found that that rich little witch Barbie was actually going to MY SEC univeristy and was going to go through recruitment. How dare that girl! I would not stand for it. So I let the presidents and rush chairs know the "real" Barbie and told them horrible, horrible things about her which I believed to be the truth.. I would get her and her little dog! She would be lucky to get a bid from the fat chapter let alone the Madame Alexanders or the Jems, never. I had a mission and I went into over-drive. I sent large decorated cookies with Angel's beautiful face and name professionally sprayed on the icing on a regular basis. At other special times I would send snacks, candy and flowers to the Madames and Jems in Angel's name. Then another one of the truly caring and very involved mothers told me I should sent each member of the Madame Alexanders and Jems personal presents in sweet, perfect little Angel's name to remind them of how perfect she is and how she should get a bid and be at the top of their bid lists. I did everything any caring mother should and could do to ensure a perfect recruitment. I callled pretending to be Angel, I posted for Angel, I did everything I could think of to make sure that my DLD Angel would have a perfect recruitment and we would have a perfect life in our perfect sorority. I did not tell her I had heard that Barbie and Midge were both going to go to our SEC university and go through recruitment. One can only imagine the horror that confronted poor little Angel when she went to rush orientation and found out that her nemesis Barbie was there, that she and even Midge were going through recruitment. Angel must have cried for a whole week. I knew that I had truly failed her. What would I do? Some of those "regular mothers" would not have done anything but NOT me! I had to make sure my perfect Angel had the perfect recruitment whatever it took and no matter what it cost. That Barbie had made Angel's life just miserable pretending to be so sweet all of the time. I do not think for a minute that she is really that nice and perfect. However, all of the rumors we intentionally spread did not seem to do any good. Thank goodness for "photoshop" with my highly developed computer skills I just knew I could finally put an end to that Barbie and how she intentionally ruined my poor little Angel's life. She was not going to ruin Angel's perfect recruitment, I was determined that would never happen, never. So I even posted and e-mailed "photos" under an assumed name, of course, to all of the sororities, even the bad ones. I told you I would get that little girl! Can you just imagine my horror when I found out that nothing I did and everything I had done for my DLD Angel was not working. She just had to have the perfect recruitment, I would just die if she did not get in the best top tier sorority. Maybe I could still try to rid of that ugly, fuggly Midge and get Barbie to be best friends with my DLD Angel. Perhaps I could get them to be roommates during recruitment, would that be possible? Perhaps Barbie could help her get a bid from one of the top tier sororities because I would not settle for anything less. It had to be the best of the best for Angel or nothing at all. I hate that Barbie and now it appeared that she was going to ruin what was supposed to be Angel's perfect recruitment. Barbie, Barbie, Barbie. I also decided I had to have a "back-up" recruitment plan if Barbie ruined Angel's recruitment. I even found another university that started classes and recruitment after recruitment was over at my SEC university on the unlikely chance that recruitment did not go well for my DLD Angel. Fat chance, but one has to be sure and make plans. I secured her admission to that univeristy as well as mine. So, once again, I got recs for the best sororities for Angel and tried to set things up perfectly so my back-up plan would work if god forbid recruitment at my SEC school failed Angel for some reason. However, the back-up university was not in the south but in the north, eek! I heard that their recruitment was not as competitive as my SEC school. It did had some of the best national sororities because we all know that there is a big difference in sororities and only a few are really and truly top tier. I just knew that if she got in the very best national at the back-up school Angel could always transfer back to our SEC university and affiliate and be in the best national sorority of them all and and the best at our state school and finally show that Barbie girl and everyone else that might have snubbed her. So, I had another mission and began doing any and everything a mother should and could do to make sure our "back-up plan" worked. I would just die if my perfect Angel did not get in the best, top tier sorority somewhere, anywhere. Angel's life would be ruined if I did not do it all and I had to do it all because poor lkittle Angel is too busy and too naive and innocent, I swear there is no more beautiful nor accomplished child than my DLD Angel. Well, I won't tell what that Barbie pledged nor how her rush turned out. But you know that and I am going to read this recruitment story very carefully to make sure she is tells the truth and nothing but the truth. Don't be fooled, Barbie is devious and mean, mean, mean. She is just spoiled rotten thinking she is so perfect and so rich and and so beautiful and that she deserves everything while always acting and pretending to be so sweet and so sincere. Like I said, I swore I would get her and her little dog as well! I can do anything, I am SuperChopperMom. Angel just has to know that there is no other mother as loving and devoted as I am to make sure that everything my DLD Angel's life could and would be perfect. I even enrolled in both schools so I could go and do her homework and help her through college, How could poor little Angel do anything without me? I just cannot imagine that! What mother would let her child try to make it through rush on their own? What about life, I know that she will need me forever. I just cannot imagine not having to do everything and living solely for her. My husband used to terribly resent it and even suggested that I go for counselling. Can you imagine that? Well, I went for counselling but it was legal counselling and when he realized that if I got rid of him I would get a great deal of his money, after all my DLD Angel needed lots of money to make sure her life was always perfect, so he finally got on board as well. We do not see each other often but I am sure that he wants only the best for his DLD Angel as well. Like I said, I won't tell you how this ended but I willl tell you that Angel and I, after a very disappointing rush at our SEC university, immediately dropped out and enrolled in the "back-up university" up north, but I made sure she had the perfect recruitment. I even tried to get AI'd into the top sorority in the country to made sure that my DLD Angel was a legacy so they would have to take her. Can you just imagine Barbie's surprise if she found out that my beautiful Angel and I were both new members of the best sorority in the country? I woud love to be there for that. Revenge could have been really sweet and finally ours. Somehow that sorority did not want me as a member, I cannot imagine. But I know once Angel was a member then I wwould definitely get to AI in as a member as well. I am certain I can get her to do that for me after everything that I have done and still do for her. Some day that Barbie will get what she really deserves! And thank you to all of the other overly involved mothers who have helped me so much with what to do to make sure Angel never ever makes a single mistake and always has a perfect recruitment and a perject life. I only live for her and to make sure she has everything I never had. Sometimes I feel like I am my DLD Angel and I just love that, it makes me feel so much closer to her. I just feel like I failed at our SEC university and that there was so much more I could have and should have done. But Angel loves our sorority up north, but she does not like it up north. But our sorority is the very best, so we showed that Barbie. I can only imagine her surprise when she heard that Angel was in the best of the best sorority. I bet she even acted like she was pleased, girls like that do things like that. I just do not understand after all of these years and after everything that I have done why Barbie and my DLD Angel are not best friends and why Angel and I did not have more friends in her new member class and our sorority, but I will fix that. I can do anything. I will do anything. I do everything for my DLD Angel. Love never means having to say you are sorry! SuperChopperMom |
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Oh, I'm totally ROTFLMAO!!!!! And the username? Pure genius!!! |
Dare I say that my Barbie always had a thing for Alan over Ken?
ihr, I used to collect Barbienalia. Never did get a shot at Sorority Meeting, though - good work! |
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