|
I swear before holy God I'll never understand the way women think...
OK, so heres the deal. My good friend Beth and I are pretty much spending the weekend together. She lives at home (just graduated from the university last year and is waiting for law school to begin) and her parents are out of town for the weekend. I dont feel comfortable with her in the house by herself, so I decide either she stays with me at my place, or I stay w/her at her place. So we are making a weekend of it at her house.
I am getting over a cold and have no voice, (but that wont stop me from partying..yet I wonder why it takes me so long to convaless) but last night we happend by a bros condo and there was a party. We had a great time, unexpected, but great. Go back to her place after and crash. We lay around all day watching TV (rainy saturday - dont you love those). Finally get up at 6 and head to my place so I can get cleaned up. I iron and shower, shave and stuff. She treats me to dinner at Pappadeaux, a great cajun joint here in town. I had heard there was a party at a brothers house, so we went by to check it out, no one there. So we hear of another party. Go there and it was nothing but our new members who live in the dorms who cant drink there, so they were at this bros house. It was way lame and Beth really wanted to leave. So we go to this bar, where our friend Heather was. <Let me mention I HATE this particular bar. Never had a good time there, ever> But I went anyway. So we are at this bar, and we see heather. Grab a beer and folllow Heather back to her table and I see my old roomate (the psycho one, and Lisa M., Beths ARCH ENEMY.) *flashback for clarification* Beth was a freshman and really liked this guy Brian (my little brother), who ultimately ended up living with lisa m for 2 years, after he played Beth like a violin. Beth is cuter than Lisa, but Beth always hated lisa. Lisa is an idiot, but never was mean to Beth or anything. We joke about Lisa, and she is now in Oregon at grad school, but was in town for the weekend to see friends. (I didnt know this) But beth has made a career of hating Lisa. *back to story* I didnt see Lisa, just my old roomate, so I make my way over there, sit down, and see Lisa. I was thinking "$hit man, youre night is OVER." Beth's whole domeanor changes, and finds an excuse to walk away. So I am gracious, make small talk with Lisa, 'cause I have no beef with her (mistake #1 apparently) then go to find beth. Beth was on the dance floor, dancing, but obviously pissed, 'cause she was grinning and saying how she hated her life, in a sacrastic kinda way. So we dance for about 20 minutes and I suggested we leave, 'cause I knew she was miserable. So I make my way back to the table and make up some BS excuse why we have to leave (something about another party we promised to stop by) and leave. Beth wouldnt even speak. We get to the car and I knew it was trouble, because she puts in Stevie Nicks "after the glitter fades" and then the Dixie Chicks, "Tonight the Heartache's on Me." Singing at the top of her lungs with tears in her eyes. I am trying to talk to her to understand why Lisa gets to her. For us guys we're just like, "he's an a$$ hole." and can usually let it go. Beth was telling me, "Theres just something about her that makes my skin crawl. I wanna climb on top of her and pound her. Even blacken her eye." I dont get it. The Brian thing was in FALL of 1996. That was like 3 centuries ago in college time. Guys can so blow $shit like that off. It obviously affected beth really bad. There was nothing I could do to make her feel better, because she kept getting madder and madder at me so I decided to cut my losses and just shut up (probably the first smart thing I did all night). We got back to her place (where I am now) and she went next door to her best friends house, as there is a party there. I just wanna go to bed. how in the hell can men and women even be the same species? I dont get it! I saw this TKE I cant stand on thursday who hooked up with this girl Dana I once dated and I just blew him off, even when he was talking some smack. What was I supposed to do. Isnt there a lifetime movie she could watch or something? HELP me! |
ARE YOU INSANE?
LIFESAVER, when in your right mind did you figure you can figure out the female of the species?
It is an immpossibility so never in 20 life times try to do it! If you can, bottle it, and make a fortune!!!! Adam never listened about eating that damn apple and here we are! Later Bro. |
(Someone may have posted this already . . . James? eh whatever, it applies . . . )
After a pious life of worship and helping others, a man was granted one gift from God. Knowing that he was presented with the Almighty, a gift in and of itself, he panicked when given the choice to have God perform any one task for him. "God, well, I really want to visit Hawaii, but I'm so deathly afraid of airplanes . . . could you build a bridge from, say, LA to Hawaii? That way I could drive, and live out my dream of seeing Hawaii." God sort of scoffed - "Well . . . do you understand the magnitude of such a thing? Think of the tons and tons of steel, mortar, and concrete needed to create such a bridge - plus, the ocean is miles deep in certain parts. It would be an unparalleled feat of human engineering - I couldn't well hide that it was my work. Perhaps there's something else you'd desire more, that may be easier to obtain?" The man paused, and now quite used to conversation with His Holiness, he comes up with a better answer: "God, well, I guess I'd really love to understand women." Now, God pauses for a bit, before replying - "Four lanes or two on that bridge?" ---- I think that just about sums it up . . . |
i know how she feels
Poor Beth...I hope you were kind to her ;) (I'm sure you were) I was dating someone three years ago, and this stupid slutty horrible girl broke us up, and my skin STILL crawls when I see her. I hate her very much. Whenever I see her, there's like a combination of misery and contempt and humiliation that makes me want to puke. Maybe girls are just very good at holding grudges.
|
Re: I swear before holy God I'll never understand the way women think...
Quote:
Nuf said :cool: |
Okay, I am a woman and I don't understand why in the world Beth was acting like that. It makes no sense to me. 1996???!! I really think that she should have gotten over this by now, and I can't think of any reason why she hasn't. I'm really being serious when I say that is sounds like Beth has some serious anger management/control issues and may need more help than you can give her.
You did nothing wrong. Yes, I know that friends need to be loyal to each other, but within reason. There is no reason why you should have to avoid anyone, Lisa included, just because of Beth's issues. Something else about your post bothered me. You said that you don't feel comfortable with Beth in the house by herself and so the two of you are spending the weekend together while her parents are out of town. If she was a freshman in 1996 and has graduated from college, I'm assuming that she is in her early to mid twenties. Unless there are facts that were not mentioned in your message, I really don't understand why she can't be home by herself, and why you decided that she had to stay with you or you with her. It sounds like you are taking on the role of "protector" to her, and she really needs to learn to be less dependent on others and deal with her problems on her own, which she is having some trouble doing. Yes, be there for her, but why can't she be on her own too? I am truly sorry if I am reading more into this than I should be, but that bothered me when I read your message. There is only one possibility I can think of that makes Beth's behavior seem even a tiny bit rational. You say that you are good friends. Without knowing your history, I wonder if she has romantic feelings for you and got really freaked out seeing you with Lisa, thinking, "Oh no, Lisa's going to get him too." Just my $.02. Again, I'm sorry if I'm reading too much into anything. This is just an honest opinion from someone who is really concerned about Beth's behavior. |
Join the club. I will never know this answer myself either. I find that jerk guys with charisma always beat out us nice guys. But then you never know I guess. Anyways, Sometimes you just have to step back and be supportive. As hard as it may be when you have certin expectations on a particular night. Every relationship has its ups and downs. Just be supportive as you can I guess. Without being controlling.
Kevin :) |
i gave up trying to understand things about women some time ago. You ask them what's wrong, they say they don't want to talk about it. So you shut up, and then they start telling you everything that's wrong (not all women but some) those some confuse the crapola out of me. So now, if a girl won't let me talk to her about a problem or something, I won't even waste my time, may sound harsh, but why try to rip words out of someone when they don't want to tell, yet, they sit there and say how they need someone to talk to. All I hear is "blah blah blah, blah blah, blah blah."
|
Well...
It's because she hasn't forgiven her. Add that to this girl & guy obviously hurt her very bad and she doesn't trust her and you've got a baaaad combination. So, you're best bet is to distance yourself if you ever see her again (leave it at "hi"... small talk was definately mistake #1).
Realistically, you have to wonder if she even realizes that she hurt her that bad. She's probably moved on by now. Once she forgives the girl, then she won't have that much power over your girlfriend. |
Life, brother Billy here. Long time no talk.
You shoulda clocked that TKE cat that wanted to talk some smack. If he wants some just tell him that your gonna ram that brushgaurd up his ass and see what he thinks about them apples. That being said........... That woman still has the hots for your little. Just like you could give two craps about your ex and the tke, she resents that woman cause she still has some thing way down deep for that guy. Pack up the truck and move on. You might dig her, but will she ever really dig you fully????????? Everyone has some kind of skeleton in their closet and that is hers. P.S. Dont go out like some overplayed, lifetime male daytime movie star. Dont sit at the house and wait for her to get back from some party while you talk to us on greekchat. Go get in your truck and find another good girl that doesnt have such close ties to your friends and some situation that is out of your control. Take care of yourself bro. |
Oh Billy how I have missed your posts...
You said pretty much what most girls would refuse to say: we get mad, angry and upset because we do STILL care about that person we lost (even if it was way back in '96) and seeing the person that "stole" them away from us engulfs us with rage. Lifesaver, hun, in Beth's mind, you crossed enemy lines and are making friends. As wrong as that is, the girl probably feels that you came there with her, you know the whole story, your supposed to support her - not make friends with the enemy. It's not right - but that is how some girls feel. Personally - i think yo should be friends with whoever you please! |
Brother Billy keep preaching . . .
Can I get someone to testify? Can I get an amen? Lifesaver, I have no idea the complete history ot your realtionship to that girl, but if I showed your post to 20 guys I know, they would all say that girl is playing you for emotional support(Like Valkyrie said, 22+ and you feel that protective?). She's using you (hopefully unconsciously) as a surrogate boyfriend . . . In fact:
She's making you into "that guy" . . . And while you wait around for her she doesn't seem to be giving you any physical attention . . . and by giving attitude like that she is certainly preventing you from getting attention from others. . . . You need to back up a little from that girl, and lower that emotional committment . . . IT might even be unhealthy. As far as the TKE guy is concerned, while I don't subscribe to Brother Billy's gospel of violence, I am not self-actualized enough not to have enjoyed invading his peronal space and intimidating him a bit as well as flirting with her in front of him . . . Oh, and Beth wants you to leave the bar but of course leaves you at her place while she goes to another party . . . ? Good luck, that redefines high maintainence (way beyond salad dressing on the side). PS. You tell good and detailed stories:). |
Clarification as to Billy M's position on violence........
I dont condone fighting. Actually, when your 25 and about to graduate, you have had your fill of drunken smack talking crap that usually ends up in fights where no one wins, someone gets a black eye, and you get thrown out of the bar. Just cause you feel 10 feet tall and bulletproof doesnt mean some of us would'nt think twice about testing your theory out.......... I have dated several girls and not once after seeing them with someone else did i disrespect their significant other. I wish I could say the same about significant others disrespecting me. Everyone needs to get on the respect train, or have your ass thrown off it.
Case in point, although it doesnt pertain to a significant other. My girlfriend's best friend is getting married in a few months. I dispise this girl. I dispise her fiance. She thinks that because I come from a good family and I am greek that I shouldnt wear boots with khaki's, erase my accent, and should join her in her tree hugging hippie mentality and become a flaming liberal. And her boyfriend is a prison security gaurd that doesnt have the commons sense the good Lord gave a goose. This morning I ran into him at the gas station and attempted to shake his hand to congratulate him on the engagement, and he gripped my hand like a girl and kind of gave me that "wassup" head nod. Because these folks are my girlfriends friends, I try to do what I can to be respectful. I'll tell you one thing though, I wont be drinking at that wedding cause it could be bad. But all in all they can both join the long, distinguished, and illustrious line of folks that can kiss my ass, along with Bin Laden, the guy that invented astroturf, and Art Modell. (Go Bengals) To all you smack talkers out there. Most of you get a second chance to walk away. Please use it. |
ok, i can't explain why women behave the way that we do...we just do. its the same thing when we walke around wondering why guys say they call, and they don't....they can't explain it, it just happens.
you did the right thing. leave it at that. she is entitled to her feelings, they are her feelings...even though you don't understand them or you think she may be over reacting..they are HER feelings. so be a guy, let it go, for now, and be her friend. the end. |
Some girls don't get over past wrongs and same goes with some guys. Its just good to avoid the other girl like you would a disease.
Its good you walked away. I ain't saying this because it was a brother that talked smack, he could have takin care of himself. Its just that almost every guy in their life talks some smack, some talk tons. If everyone fought after talkin smack blackeyes would become in fashion. |
Lifesaver -
well bud, i read your post over a couple times trying to grasp the situation as best as possible. Also because you contribute so much here we gotta give you the 411... Lock and Load, i think it may be best to start considering other quail. From what i've heard is that you're giving this girl your all and see doesn't seem to care - until your with another woman. ;) As I think Rob or James mentioned, she expects so much from you (ignoring her nemesis) but ditches you to hit up another party - what the &#$#@? At least with us guys, we're simple. We know what we want and we go for it. I wouldn't expect some chick to hate some guy i had a beef with and then leave her alone while I took off and the 'while letting her think what's wrong with this guy? I lived with three tri delts one year and could not understood what the hell they were thinking at times. Oh and BillyMac , some times all a guy needs is a good beating. If anyone ever figures out the female mind it will definitely be one of us, and we'll all get loaded off the revenues. :D |
You wonder why women "act like that?"
It's like asking, "why do beavers cut down trees?" It's their job! By the way, it doesn't change as you get older. DeltAlum |
I still remember the name of the girl in high school that stole the guy I really liked. He was into me and we talked for a few weeks, they were friends and she got him drunk at a party and slept with him so of course my game was gone. That was 7 years ago! (I am so showing my age!) But I still get agitated when I think about her. She is obnoxious, rude, ugly, she has no sense of humor, she is immature and is very unintelligent. Why do I still harbor resentment towards her? Because she won and that pisses me off. I can't just get mad at him, I have to not like her. I know that makes no sense and it makes me just as immature, but seeing a picture of this girl makes me want to draw mustaches on her and stuff.
Listen to LeeAnn Womack's Ill think of a reason later, it was on her first CD and that kind of sums it up. I hate to lose and your friend is probably the same way, especially when you know that girl didn't deserve him in the first place! |
Doesn't change as we get older? Good gosh..i'm never going to get married....forget that!
d |
lifesaver finally gets a chance to check GC...
Killarney, love it. Either you are with us... funny, and timely.
Thanks everyone for your input. As for the protection thing. I dunno. It might be a southern thing. I just feel its my gentelmanly duty (I know KABM got my back on that one) Just the way things are done here, you carry a womans packages, pull her chair out for her, and kinda protect her if you can. But you all are right, I do think she is using me as her surrogate b/f. That needs to stop. We are good friends (without benefits). I have known her for 5 years (she is 23), and really dont think of her in a romantic way. I have a hard time trying to be friends tho when stuff like this happens. I mean, where do you draw the line between friendship and and being used as a stand-in b/f. I am not her b/f and dont wanna be. My interests lie elsewhere. It was wrong of her to bolt to the other party. She was still pissed the next day, and I couldnt help feeling like she was pissed at me. I dont care WHO I am friends with or dating, my rule is dont tell me who to be friends with or talk to. Ya' dont like it? Dont kick it w/me. Maggie - thanks. I did just let it go, and now we seem to be back to normal, I just have a better sense of whats up, and how she views things, aka our relationship. ZNTKE731 - Yeah, the bro who was talking smack does that to everyone. Thats kinda why I let it go. AND I am a pacifist. Dont believe in fighting. Well I do if the guy really has it coming, but thats rare. Been in pleanty of fights as a youngin, and dont see the point anymore. valkyere- I could totally see the possesion thing happening with lisa. At least with southern women they tend to be terretorial with the men in their lives, even brothers and friends, and I could see how she would think that way. KABM - "But all in all they can both join the long, distinguished, and illustrious line of folks that can kiss my ass, along with Bin Laden, the guy that invented astroturf, and Art Modell. (Go Bengals)" Glad we see eye to eye on this. You good people. Thanks everyone, gotta run. I'll keep ya updated. |
wow. Thats all i can say about that. wow.
|
I gotcha on the southern thing. I cannot walk to my car at night alone because no guy I know will allow it, they say that they would rather be safe than sorry!
|
OK, I am weak....
Quote:
|
YO LIFESAVER
MY MAIN MAN, I know da feeling, I tried to cement relationships with the house across the street from us one night and BIG BUBBA my body guard got up set because he wanted to rip my face off! I Calmed Bubba down and we went back to the house where I popped my trunck and got out my AR 15 and said lets settle this now! They never forgot that night and I hope they learned a leason, my guys of course!
Hell Moron ought to be a new society in our country as they are like cock roaches, they abound!!!!!! We are bigger than they are, but I liked your stick, KOOL DUDE! Also nice to have large Brothers with you when you get PISSED!!!!!! :mad: May The Blessed be Blessed and the MORONS find a place IN????? GOGO BRO!!! |
Re: OK, I am weak....
Well it probably felt good especially because they backed down, he could have just hit you without saying anything. After years of martial arts training the one thing that sticks in your mind is that if you are THAT close to someone i.e. in his face, and he has any skill, you won't stop him from hitting you.
So instead of going on about escalating levels of violence and the consequences . . . I'll just leave it with the quote: "Its always fun and games till someone gets their eye poked out." PS: if your back up gives you courage, definitely opt out of the fight. Its bad to to rely on others. Quote:
|
But it was a cool story . . .
;)
|
Good point, James,
One of the things I remember from my martial arts days -- which were some years ago now -- was to say, "So sorry," and try to get the hell out of the situation. And to use the skills as defensive measures only if necessary. Besides, there are too many folks walking around armed these days. |
Re: YO LIFESAVER
Quote:
Hey Earp, still refuse to post while sober huh? LMAO! The sauce flows like water on your end man. Sheesh. I understood nothing out of that but hey, always love to read your posts. Getting my 32 on October 27, at a reunion here in Ky. Wanna come down? Almost finished with my York Rite Degrees now. Hope to complete both rites by Nov. |
Well, that lowered the level. Short attention span, Max?
|
Yep, BillyMack, big was one of my guys and the other guy was the one who wanted my face off my cranium!
Mind works faster thay my typing!!!!!! Can you tell! LOL In my house I am known as the TYPO KING!!!!!!! :D |
Re: OK, I am weak....
Quote:
|
Answer
Yes it would be. I was carrying it like it was the lambda, but the fool thought he'd make a funny that wasnt very. Idiots who dont know the greek alphabet often make that joke. :rolleyes:
|
UGH!!
So it had to happen again, but this time I put my foot down. All ya'll were right. She is using me as her surrogate boyfriend. I love her, but I need to establish some boundaries.
So Beth has been flirting with one of my closest brothers, Nathan. they kissed a few times, but nothing sreious. Last Tuesday I ask Beth whats up with her and Nate. She tells me "nothing, I dont see anything coming of it. I've already moved on." So I leave it at that. Well, last friday, Amy (a good friend of mine and the chapter presidents real life little sister, age 20) is hanging out with all of us and asks me if Nate is involved with Beth. I tell her no, which is what Beth told me. So they kiss later that evening. Nothing more, then Saturday night we all go out and Beth asks me if they had kissed. I never lie to Beth, but I should have. i told her, I dont know but probably. She hit the roof. Her whole domeanor changed. She turned into a complete bitch, and startch bitching and expecting me to be her emotional rescurer. She tells me, "thats wrong of Amy to do that." and "So what if I wasnt interested, thats besides the point." And "You had no rite to tell Amy my business." I finally put my foot down and told her "listen, be mad at yourself, not me. If you couldnt deal with your emotions properly, and admitt that you liked him, you are the one that created this situation. DONT turn into a complete chick on me now. If you are gonna be bitchy all night and pout, you can go home now. I am out to have fun and am not gonna spend my night carressing your ego and solving your problems." So she pouts the rest of the night, I ignore her till we get back to my place at 3am and I hear her in the shower crying. I dont need her drama. She had since lost her keys so she had to have a friend pick her up. I also find out she confronted Amy with, "Amy, Dont be that girl. You know the one who kisses other girls' guys." Amy was like, "Are ya'll together?" and Beth said "Thats not the point." they went through this drill 5 times. I think it was really messed up foir Beth to have confronted her at the party like that. I know Beth is going through a rough time, but there is a point where I have to fish or cut bait, and i have chosen to cut bait. I am tired of her drama. I love her and always will, but hanging out with Amy in the recent I have been a lot happier, and had a lot of fun. I think beth feels her terretory has been usurped. But she drove me away. Maybe we just need some time apart. I did get the following email from her the next day (its long and boring and has Estrogen written all over it): "I hated hated hated Saturday night! I know that I said that the Nate thing with h-i-s-t-o-r-y that was and is how I feel-- I did not like the kid at some higher obscure level do not get me wrong, So apparently I was born with or aquired some kind of curse as to do with men... but what the f**k he hooks up with this girl who I thought was cool on my freakin turf (your apartment).... no, mamma is not even close to down with that... hook up with who you please.... I do not give a f**k but not on my turf, ever... I just need to get a new scene and stop hanging out with the party crowd!" Ya'll wanna know what part I heard? "I hated saturday night." After that it was Charlie Browns teacher. "Wah, wah wah wah wah." Point is I am moving on to healthier relationships. Just thought I'd share. :cool: |
Re: UGH!!
Quote:
|
Good for you lifesaver. I'm glad you put your foot down. Hopefully before it is too late she will change her outlook and attitude. She obviously isn't aware that she's going to lose a really good friend. I have to agree with deltabeta and say...we're nothing but trouble!!!!!!! LOL. :)
Allison |
Lifesaver-
Good NESS, this girl needs a swift kick in the butt! Does she know that she is 23 years old? Is she aware that she is behaving like a three-year-old ("That's MINE!")? Even if she's not playing with it, she doesn't want anyone else to have it... So glad you are extracting yourself from this unhealthy situation... I'm also from the South (SC) so I understand the chivalry that is so ingrained in so many of you young men :). But you're right, being a supportive friend to her (or what she defines as a supportive friend) is coming at the cost of your well-being and happiness. As a psych major, I see serious codependency issues... get out while you can :) |
Seriously man, Call block the girl and don't Call her. Wow.
Like Alphachi said above, co dependency issues, so many issues she needs a magazine rack to hold them all . . . and she's not even sleeping with you to abuse you like that . . . Sigh |
lifesaver-I'm shaking my head in disbelief that you would even associate with a girl like that. Honey, she is pure trash. (Gawd I hope you don't end up with her after I said that or you will hate me for expressing it)
Just a few thoughts- You SOUND like you are ready for a relationship, want to have closeness to someone special. Often, it turns out you KNOW in your heart you haven't found the right one so you focus on something unattainable or out of sync with your real desires so you are safe FROM commitment till the real thing comes along. Where does Nate stand in all this? Is he a skunk and using both these girls? That can lead to a circle of unrequited love. James is right BLOCK HER. It sounds like you are stuck in a pattern and that's hard to break unless you take active measures. (Does she REALLY talk that way? Is that the kind of women you would be proud to accompany you throughout your LIFE?) I have known many women who could get a man to do ANYTHING for her. I never had that "gift" and never understood how or why-it just was. In all cases I can recall, it ended badly. The girl was never satisfied and after using her "friends" up, moved on. Stay firm in your resolve. PLEASE don't let her "charms" (!?!) lure you back. Your level of intelligence, polish and may I assume aspirations begs for a woman who you can trust and share a FUTURE with, not just a few "magic moments" that are followed by pain. You are better than that. |
Seriously, hold out for sex. No sex, no more emotional coddling.
A lot of women who are emotionally unavailable will use the old "friend" routine. There is no risk for them. So they use the sublimated sexual tension to get a lot of the emotional nurturing that a standard relationship is supposed to provide from a male that is either dysfunctional enough, inexperienced enough, or has low enough self esteem to fall prey. Its a tired and boring pattern of human beahvior . . . but oh so predictable. I will say one thing. Nothing is more tedious and boring than meeting people like that. And I despise people that are boring in self destructive ways. *Yawn*:rolleyes: |
Ditto James. Girls who use men suck.
Quote:
|
| All times are GMT -4. The time now is 07:46 AM. |
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, vBulletin Solutions Inc.