Marriage Age
 

Marriage and weddings have been on my mind lately with having one of my friends be married at 22 and posts on this site about a 16 year old girl being married. I then found this article http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/...?se=yahoorefer

I know marriage age differs due to circumstances, region, religious beliefs, cultural influences, personality, family etc.

I cannot figure out how to post a poll so please just respond.
In your culture or region what age is appropriate for marriage?
before-18
18-20
20-25
25-30
30+

When you're both ready.

Marriages fail with couples of all ages. There isn't a perfect age. I have a friend whose parents got married at 17, and they're still married and happy almost 30 years later. My aunt's been married in her 20s, 30s, and now she just got remarried again in her 40s for the 4th time, and we'll see how long this one lasts.

I wasn't meaning necessarily for the perfect age. I need to edit my first post. In my region, marriage in the late 20s is most common. People tend to look down on marriages earlier than that.

I'm sticking to my answer.

There's something about putting an age on marriage... too young, and you're criticized for not being ready, but then one day, you cross a line and if you aren't married, you're an old maid.

I think of it the same way as tha paradox of makeup...when you're younger, you use makeup to make yourself look older. Then, one day, you wake up and decide you're old enough, and you start using makeup to make yourself look younger.

I'd say around here (south Georgia), it's most common to get married in your early to mid-20s (for women) and late 20s to early 30s (for men). But there really is a whole range, and I wouldn't say that any age is really looked down too strongly "in this day and age". My husband and I were both 23 when we got married.

I was married at 23 and we are still going strong! Most of my college friends married their college sweethearts right out of college and so far none have gotten a divorce. *cross fingers*

I was 27 which was a little young in my opinion. If it weren't for that biological clock, it would be nice to allow people a chance to get through their twenties before marriage - not just because of age, but because the twenties are pretty turbulent already with school, first jobs, first homes, etc.

I haven't had one friend marry before the age of 28 in over 20 years. Most were over 30. Every one of those friends are still married.

I think that is because most were already settled into their careers and had enough money saved to go into their relationship without a huge amount of debt. I think they were also emotionally mature to make decisions: to stand up to nagging in-laws, to avoid jumping into having kids or buying too many things to keep up with the Joneses.

Is this common for the region? No, but I don't think there IS a standard. Is it common for my group of friends? Yes, but also because most of them go on to grad school or law school before jumping into a life-long commitment.

Aside from laws about how old you must be to marry in your state/province/country, there really is no "right age".

That said, among my friends and acquaintances in my age group, there have been two "waves" of weddings. Some of us got married within a couple of years of college graduation; others got married in their late 20's.

im 27 and cant imagine getting married yet...

I have to ask, is it common for women in N. Texas to get married super early? My SIL moved out there a couple years ago and is having a hard time finding men to date in her age range as most have already been married with or without kids. She's 27 and never been married...she says they all seem shocked that she's not already been married at her age.

Crap, I got married at 29 almost 30...so we know I am out of the "norm" for a good part of the country. :)

Nope. That sounds about right. Bravo for saying it like it is.

*edit* I was 26, my husband, who had been married once before (at 19) was 29 when we got married.

19 to 23. It is very common here to get married very young - many of my sisters are engaged.

I have noticed that about 20 or so friends got married/engaged this year. All are under 25, most under 23. Personally, think that's a little young but a good number of these people dated all throughout high school and college, so it's not like they're rushing. However, there are quite a few outside of those 20 who broke off their engagements or had their marriages annulled. Most of them fall in the under 20 group. Honestly, I think if you toast with sparkling cider at your wedding because you're not old enough for champagne, you're probably too young.

When I was a child, I always thought I'd be married right out of college but forget that now! As much as I complain (:rolleyes:) I'm quite happy being single. Even a bf would cramp me right around now with school and work taking up so much of my time. I travel a lot and am excited about moving next year because I get to pick wherever I want to go. If I were married, I couldn't do that. I think anywhere between 25-30 would be fine with me, maybe even a little past that.

I was going to wait until I was completely done with school, residency programs and all. My cardiology residency starts after I finish school for general medicine which will be another 4 years, and I'll be in my early 30s by then. I'll be done with school for general medicine in about 2 years, which means after my exams I'll be a General DVM, so I would be o.k. with that, and I would still be in my 20s. Being married and doing a 4 year residency would be o.k. I mean, I wouldn't be making any money, but marriage takes sacrifice. My friend got married when she was going through vet school at age 23. She's 28 now and going through her residency and she's never been happier.

Most of the women around here get married in their mid-20's

20-25 for friends from the Memphis area
 

From my own personal experience, I find that people in my hometown (Western PA) typically get married in the 22-30 ish age group. I fall into this group as well, or, I suppose, I will fall into this group after Saturday. I'm 23, my fiance is 28. We've been together for 7+ years, did the long distance, did ultra long distance, I've done my grad school, jobs etc etc...It's about time we got hitched!

In Scotland, I found it more typical that people get married a lot older (at least in the cities), if they do formal marriage at all. Generally people are about 25 at the youngest. I got a lot of comments when I told people I'm engaged.

That is exactly how it's turning out with my college friends. A few of us got married within a year or two of graduation (my wife and I got married in 2005, 2 years out of school; I was 24, she was just about to turn 24). Then, there was a bit of a break, and now the past year or so it's picked up again. Two of my college friends are getting married next year, and there may be more on the horizon.

I agree that it's tough to put a "right age" on it. Some people are ready in their early 20s, some get married in their 30s or 40s and aren't ready at all.

I'm currently a senior, and there seems to be an epidemic of engagements right now. Many of my sisters are engaged and a few from home are too. I am not (yet!), but imagine I will be within the next year. Both of our sets of parents are pushing for it, but my bf wants to finish his masters and me my bachelors first. It definitely seems to be the norm for people to be married by 22-25. The only ones I know from home that got married right out of high school were ones that did not go on to college, and most of them have since divorced.

I was actually discussing this with my boyfriend and friend from HS the other day. I'm from Maryland, and my HS graduating class (2003) had 650 kids. I'd say probably 100 of them (that I'm aware of) are now either married, engaged, married with kids, or single with kids. I feel like every time I get on facebook someone new is engaged.

I think it comes from maybe only half of that graduating class going to a 4 year college. And a LARGE majority that go to 4 year colleges attend ones in state within 30 minutes of our hometown. So they don't seem to branch out, make new friends, etc. I've looked through pictures and asked why they're all still hanging out together 5 years later, no new friends in sight. Also, when they graduate from college, they move back home. So any friends they may have made in college are no longer around.

As far as my college friends go, only one of my close friends is married. She and her husband met in the fall of our freshman year and got engaged summer before senior year. She'll be 23 this spring and he just turned 28. I've had several sorority sisters get married or become engaged recently, most are 24-26. They all live in the mid-Atlantic or NY.

Now that I'm in the south, I see people definitely get married younger. My boyfriend is 23 and he grew up here and has several friends who are already married or engaged. One is already separated, they were married less than a year. I don't feel any pressure to get married at this age (I JUST turned 23), but I do know that I'd like to be married within the next few years, hopefully around 25 or 26.

Yep. I was 24 and the husband was 27 when we got married. That's what worked for us. I'd say about half my pledge class is married and half isn't, and most of us are pushing 30 now.

My sorority sisters, who are all generally from this area (Northwestern, PA) seem to get married younger (21, 22, 23)

One of them was engaged after her first year of college, she left to marry her fiance and live with him in Virginia (he was in the Navy and was stationed there), and they were divorced within 2 years. Now she's back around here and she parties like crazy. Definitely happens. Fortunately, there weren't any kids involved.

Three of my sisters graduated college and were engaged by mid-summer. Another sister graduated and was hoping for a proposal from her bf of a year, but things happened and they broke up, and she was devastated that she wasn't getting married. Another sister was proposed to during the winter break before her last semestser of college.

Also, a guy that my bf works with just got engaged. Him and his gf have been together for about a year. He's turning 20 in a couple weeks. He won't even be old enough to drink at his wedding, which is planned for summer 2009.

I don't know if it's a trend around here, but it's insane to me.

I also know a couple from back home (MA), and they started going out in September of 07, they were engaged by January of 08, and they're getting married in summer of 09. The guy is 25 and the girl just turned 21.

I'm 24 and I can't imagine myself being married right now. My boyfriend is younger than I am, and I think that when he's ready to get married, I'll be at least 26. Perfect :)

Around my circle, 26-30 seems to be the age range for marriage. All of us have an undergraduate degree and many have grad/professional degrees as well.

I wonder if it's another generational thing, Benz, because I relate with this. Except one friend is divorced, interestingly, the one who married a guy who was younger and still in his mid-20s when she was 31 at the time -- turns out he wasn't fully grown after all. I'll always be glad I "had my 20s" to myself, I had the time of my life and became who I am. And looking back, I can't imagine one guy I dated in high school or college (or even my early 20s) I could still imagine being with. But, as with everything, YMMV.

I guess with my group of friends, we had waves of weddings, too. There were quite a few right after graduation (2 divorced and now on their second marriages). Then in our late 20s. I am one of the last to get married and I am 32. For me personally, I wasn't ready to get married right after college. I needed to be able to live on my own and do things for myself before I could even think of getting married. By my late 20s, I thought I was ready, but I definately had the wrong guy! LOL. I also had friends who had "timelines" and got married because they were not married yet, and should have been according to their timelines. I never wanted to be that person.

I have posted almost this exact thing in another thread.

There are definitely those who marry straight out of college and stay in happily wedded bliss forever, but those that I personally knew who did this are all divorced now. My close-knit circle of friends all waited until around 30-33 for the wedding and 32-35 for the first kid. We are absolutely very different (and hopefully better?) people now than we were in the 22-25 age range. Our priorities and taste in men is also very different too. I would be so very miserable now if I had married any of the people that I dated prior to age 26!

Interestingly, in the city where I now live it is almost universal that people marry at 22 and start to work immediately on churning out at least 4 kids by thier early 30s. So... as someone in my mid-30s I have been married for 5 years and have 2 children under the age of 2. Everyone else my age has kids who are starting middle school. It is very wierd.

Good for you. No one should be that person.

And then there are those of us who wait until we are over 40, when family and friends have all lost hope-- that's OK. I did this, and my brother got married 14 months ago at the age of 48. His first child was just born (several months before he tuns 50). His wife is 12 years younger than he is. :)

I just turned 31, and my bf will turn 42 in February, and we're just getting to the point where we'll probably be engaged soon. I feel like it's perfect timing for me. All of my friends got married in their upper 20s after dating their SOs for many years. The only people I've known that got married in college were LDS; and my chapter only had one candlepass in my four years of college. I thank God every day that I did not marry the southern "gentleman" who was my college boyfriend!

That's because we are -------> HERE <-------- :D:D

(How's the baby???? :))

One of the reasons I have drilled into my stepson DO NOT get married until you are at least 25...it is even better if both partners are at least 25. I know had I gotten married to my college sweetheart, we would have been divorced by now

I got married in my mid 30s. DH was in his early 40s (this is his second marriage) :)

I just friended a HS classmate on Facebook who just got divorced. She got married within a year of graduation (to a church guy, I believe), and now she's got 2 kids. Dude, as much as I party (and I'm hungover right now), I think she's got me beat. It's fine for me because I don't have kids.

I think I've mentioned this a few times elsewhere on the site, but where I grew up, most people got married between 21-24. A lot of the girls I grew up went to strict Christian colleges and ended up getting married while they were still in college. As far as college friends go, none of my close friends have gotten married. A few acquaintances have started families, and some of my chapter sisters are married now. We'll see how it pans out.

I would like to be on the path to marriage, or married, around my 30th birthday because I want to start having children before I'm 35. I've seen all of the stuff that women over 35 have to go through to get pregnant, and all the stuff they have to go through when they actually do get pregnant. I don't want to go through that.

I got married at 21, got pregnant with my oldest 2 months later, and had a 6 week old on our first anniversary:eek:

But, it worked out, we are going on 25 years of marriage come December!

My oldest is now engaged and getting married in June. He is 23, which I think is young. He reminds me of my age (of course), but to me it's different (of course). But, he has been totally self supporting for over a year, working as a manager at a club, while he finishes his degree; his fiance has gotten her masters and is working full time, so they feel that they are responsible and ready.

Honestly, I've been through the seven stages of grief, through sadness, denial, and anger, but I'm now at acceptance:o. They will have to figure things out on their own, just like my husband and I did.

It's not easy getting married young, but for some it works out.

I agree. I got married young and now I'm divorced. I don't believe it was because we were too young. It was because we hadn't a clue what marriage was really about. We thought we were both ready but we weren't.

I keep reading the title of this thread as "Mawwiage Act."

It's messin' with my melon.

I can't speak for all of N. Tx, but most of my friends got married or will be married before they are 26. Most of them marry a year or two out of college.

I'm 26, going on 27 and can't imagine being married. If I had married my college sweetheart, I am certain we would be divorced by now.

I'd have to agree that it's hard finding guys in my age range that aren't or haven't been married. They seem either way too young, or way too old :confused: