Granted...but teh day it opens it gets robbed.


I wish I could kick one of my PITA co workers.

granted but you break your foot in the process

I wish I knew the future

granted but then you'll never be surprised again

I wish it weren't raining

granted...you get a freak blizzard instead


I wish it was 5pm already.

granted but today is Monday.



I wish you had all of your teeth

Granted but then you would be the first to get struck by lightning......twice.....




I wish one of you could wish a better wish than I had in mind right now.

WHHAAAA!!!!! I am shocked that you think that i am thinking that right now!!!!

anywho......granted but they are now replaced by Geico caveman commercials


I wish I could go see Tropical Thunder tonight

granted but it's in a theater full of bratty, obnoxious high school kids



I wish I had some yummy pad thai right now.

Granted but it has salmonilla peppers in it

i wish school would finally start

It does but you can';t go because you have finanacial aid problems that keeps you in the office for 3 hours...next you lose housing...so you are forced to strip and do hand jobs for tuition.


I wish I had a sugar mama

granted but it's Roseanne


I wish I wasn't so bored.

Granted but now you are half as bored and won't get off til 10pm


I wish SOPI would take all of us to the movies and then drinking

granted but it's a chick flick and we're having cosmos



I wish I had the money to be taking everybody out for movies and drinks

Granted. But, she took us to see a bestiality porn and got so drunk she puked all over the inside of DS's car.


I wish I had the time to stay at that job.

granted but was shocked when you woke up next to Earp the next morning and he has your wallet in between his 'nads.


granted but they ask you to sign a contract for 20 years and not raise your salary


I wish I could stay longer to continue instead of going home right now.

Granted. but nobody wants you there either...:) i luv you daemon!

i wish i could go back down to the beach this afternoon.

granted but then it gets closed because of shark attacks

I wish I could go to a concert tonight

granted but it's a Michael Bolton concert


I wish people wouldn't flake on me

granted but instead of flaking they come to your house, and become squatters. They won't leave. Ever.

I wish that I had a swimming pool.

granted ..but that too gets closed due to shark attacks....



I wish a mod would try and shut this thread down

granted but 50 threads pop up asking why this thread was shut down & the cycle starts over again

I wish I had a job

granted but you end up scraping gum off of benches in the park..

I wish i weren't so bored

granted...but then you get a phone call from a distant relative talking about how bad her foot fungus has gotten.

I wish i could sleep

granted, but you have a nightmare which then comes true.


I wish I could vacuum without actually having to vacuum.

granted but all the stuff on your floor must be picked up with the suction you create with your mouth

I wish i was at the olympics

Granted, but you can only eat the native food from the outside vendors (snake on a stick, dog liver, dung beetles...)



I wish I had a new dishwasher.

Granted but she steals from you, doesn't speak English and you have her deported.





I wish i could play madden

Granted, but Nicole Richie might get jealous.

I wish all my laundry was done, folded and put away.

Granted but your laundry has bleach stains all over it, and has shrunk so much that your clothes now can only fit a preschooler.

I wish trying to get into grad school wasn't so time consuming.

Granted, but you are now a member of the DeVry Institute's Graduate School of Grating Up Those Little Tiny Onions to be Used on McDonald's Cheeseburgers.

I wish my ex would take the stick out of his ass.

Granted, but you don't want to know where that stick now is...


I wish my eyes would stop watering...

Granted, but now your nose won't stop running.

I wish someone would call me and ask me to hang out with them.

Granted, but it's Tom Earp and he wants to go hang out at Point Loma with you and drink Mad Dog 20 20.

I wish I could go back to Chile again.

granted but you lose your passport on the way back into the U.S. and get detained..

I wish I could buy a new car.

granted, you just got a orginal hummer (that kind that takes $600 to fill the gas tank)

Oh for the love of all that is holy i wish I was 21 already!

Ditto! Two days til my b-day!!!

Granted, but they'll change the drinking age to 22 a week after your birthday.

I wish I could go to the Lonestar show on Friday.

granted, but the band had to cancel so you're stuck listening to the "Elmo and Friends" instead.

i wish birthday presents for other people magically appeared.

granted but all the birthday presents are from Condom Kingdom



I wish I had someone to cook for me

granted but they're an amateur so you get food poisoning.

I wish I could go to the movies

Granted, but all that is showing is really bad amateur porn.

I wish I had a king-sized bed instead of a queen.